A Hero in the Making  The Cousland Pup
by RPGameplayer
Summary: My Dragon Age obsession has resulted in my very first fanfic. My F/human noble rises to the challenges presented to her. Enjoy!  please note that although I don't follow the game exactly, there are spoilers  ***Bioware owns everything.***
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

I brought my shield up and parried his attack easily. Circling my opponent, my blue eyes watched his movements, waiting carefully for him to drop his guard. I saw a brief opening in his shield defense and thrust my sword forward. "Good!" Ser Gilmore shouted. "Now, don't lower your guard!" I kept my defense up as I looked for a chance to disarm my opponent. He shifted his weight, giving away his intended move and when he thrust his sword forward, I blocked with my shield and brought my own sword to his throat. "Excellent!" Ser Gilmore shouted. "Percy, watch your body language. Even the slightest movement can give away your intent."

"Lady Felicia, I bow to your expertise with a weapon. It has been a pleasure sparring with you." Percy bowed, left the sparring ring and headed for the soldiers' barracks.

A smiling Ser Gilmore walked over to me. "I think Percy is getting the hang of it. Next time don't hold back so much." I had known Ser Rodrick Gilmore for my whole life. He was getting older, but never let it show. He was my father's Knight-Commander and my weapons trainer. We had been working with new recruits for almost a month now. When father received the request for troops from King Cailen Theirin, he decided to respond by taking my brother and the majority of our troops. A request for men to fill the ranks was posted and I had been surprised at the number of men (and a few women) who had responded.

As I prepared for the next trainee, a servant approached and called out to me. My father had requested my presence immediately in the great hall. I bowed to Ser Gilmore and took my leave. As I left the sparring ring, I heard Ser Gilmore dismiss the remaining trainees. I walked past the barracks that housed our soldiers and entered a gated garden.

Eleanor Cousland, my mother, had been a renowned archer in her younger days, and had put the same energy into her garden that she had put into her bow skills. The garden was my mother's pride and joy. The brick lined paths wound through a variety of plants and scented flowers. Stone benches were scattered throughout . The roses were always my favorite and I would often be found among them studying my lessons or quietly reading.

Bryce Cousland, my father, is Teyrn of Highever. Highever is one of the largest areas in our land of Ferelden and our ancestral home. Highever abutted the Frostback Mountain foothills to the west and the Waking Sea to the north. Eastward was the Arlington of Amaranthine and southward lay the Bannorn, a collection of smaller areas divided amongst the nobles. Our castle sat on a hill overlooking the lush fields and beautiful farmland that Highever was known for.

On one side of the gardens were the massive oak doors that led into the great hall where my father held all of his meetings. My fingers traced the intricate carvings that adorned the door, then I turned the handle to make my way inside. As I entered the room, I saw my father speaking with Arl Howe.

My father was a handsome, tall, ruggedly built man. His hair had turned mostly gray, but his short beard was still the dark brown of his youth. He was as quick to show compassion as he was to show anger, but he was always just. The people of theregion respected and adored both of my parents.

Arl Howe was much shorter than my father and very thin. He was clean shaven and his face was weathered with age. Arl Howe was in charge of the Arlington of Amaranthine a smaller area east of Highever and bordering the Amaranthine Ocean. Arl Howe and my father were old friends from the war with Orlais thirty years ago.

I groaned inwardly as I approached them, the Arl was among many of the nobles always trying to set me up with their sons. Howe's son Thomas was a few years younger than me and showed no interest in me at all. I might have considered his older son Nathaniel, he had always been shyly attentive when I saw him, but he was off in the Northern Marches and I hadn't seen him for years.

I approached my father, now a little self conscious of the state of my appearance. I was still in my leather armor and all sweaty. I tried to adjust the ponytail from which my long blonde hair was escaping, but to no avail. "Oh pup, there you are." he greeted me.

I crossed my arms over my chest and bowed to him and to the Arl. "Father. Arl Howe."

"My, you are growing into quite a fine woman." Howe said. "My son, Thomas, was asking after you. I should bring him with me next time."

"To what end - isn't he younger than me?" I questioned, trying to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. My parents both had instructed me on the duties and responsibilities that come with our status. I tried to respect this, but it was difficult at times. Father failed to suppress a smile at my comment.

"Well, over time the years will matter less and less." Howe replied. Turning to my father, "This is what happens when you allow your daughter to be a warrior."

"Yes, she is her mother's daughter, but the sword skills come from me," father chuckled with pride. He looked at me more seriously, "Pup, I need you to be in charge here while your brother and I are away. Peace must be kept in our lands. You know what they say about mice when the cat is away."

My first instinct was to shout that I wanted to go with him, but since we were not alone my noble upbringing kicked in, I simply stated, "I will do my best."

My father smiled, knowing what I was thinking, "That's my good girl. Oh, and I have something else for you to do." Turning to a guard he said, "Show the Warden-Commander in." The man that entered filled the room with his presence. He appeared to be around my father's age, with dark, graying hair. He was clad in full armor and carried double blades at his back. , I could see his dark eyes evaluating the room and the people in it. There was no doubt to his status as a warrior and even Howe appeared to be taken aback by this calm, but focused man. "Duncan, this is Arl Renden Howe and my daughter Felicia."

Duncan bowed, "Arl Howe. Lady Felicia."

"My lord, you didn't tell me a Grey Warden would be here. I am at a disadvantage." Howe seemed greatly distressed.

"He only arrived today, there was no way to let you know. Is there a problem?" my father asked, concerned.

"No, no... it's just that protocol... demands certain ...formalities and I am unprepared." the Arl stammered.

"Duncan is only here to look for more recruits for the Grey Wardens. I believe he is going to approach Ser Gilmore." my father responded.

"My lord, might I suggest that your daughter would be an excellent recruit." Duncan said looking at me appraisingly.

My father moved protectively in front of me. "No. I won't have both of my children in the dangers of battle."

"Father, " I protested before I could stop myself, "I might want to be a Grey Warden."

Father glared at me, turned to Duncan and said, "Unless you are declaring the right of conscription...?"

Duncan raised his hands and quickly said "Of course not. I apologize. It is well known that the Lady Cousland is an expert with a blade and would therefore be an asset to the wardens."

Father sighed and turned to me, "Pup, please see to all of Duncan's needs while he is here. Now, I need you to find your brother, Fergus and tell him to take the bulk of the troops and leave immediately for Ostagar."

"Certainly, father." I knew that I had been dismissed. I bowed to the three men and left the room.

...

I stepped out into the gardens looking for my brother. The gate at the opposite side of the gardens opened to cobbled paths that led to the courtyard and our family wing in one direction and the dining hall in the other. I suddenly heard shouting and Ser Gilmore came rushing up.

"Thank goodness I found you," he panted. "Your hound has gotten into the larder and Nan is shouting up a storm. The poor servants are trembling in fear!"

"What has Dagger done now?" I wondered out loud. Dagger is my Mabari Warhound. They are large dogs weighing almost two hundred pounds of pure muscle. They are bred to attack and kill the enemy in battle and their mouths are filled with nasty teeth. Our troops didn't have any, but many others used them. My mother had a fit when father gave him to me as a puppy, but she relented when he showed no signs of viciousness.

"Come quickly. You are the only one that dog will listen to," he said. "You know how Nan can be when her routine is disrupted."

Nan was the castle cook. When Fergus and I were younger, she was also our nanny. She was elderly and thin but not in the least infirm. Her white hair was always pulled into a neat tight bun. Her face seemed to be in a perpetual scowl and her reputation for anger was well known throughout the castle. Even father's strongest men would cower if she was upset. We went straight to the kitchen and headed towards the larder door where Nan was shouting at her elven servants.

"How did he get in? You two should have kept him out!" Nan yelled in her harshest tone.

"Now Nan," Ser Gilmore said, the slightest tremor in his voice. "You know Mabari warhounds only listen to their masters."

"Yes," she turned to me. "So, get your dog out of my larder. He's probably eaten the special roast I was going to use for dinner tomorrow."

"I'm sure there's some reason for him to be there, Nan." I tried to calm her. "I'll get him."

I went into the larder with Ser Gilmore behind me. There he stood in all his doggy glory - Dagger. His short brown fur was standing up at his neck and he was pointing his nose at a corner of the larder and growling ferociously.

"Are you trying to tell me something, boy?" I asked.

"He certainly looks like he is," Ser Gilmore said. "Wait, what's that?"

At that moment several extremely large black rats had emerged from behind the crates of foodstuffs. I drew my sword and between the three of us, we quickly killed them all. Ser Gilmore and I searched around to make sure there weren't any more.

"Those were Korcari Wild rats!" Ser Gilmore exclaimed. "How in the world did they get in here?"

I patted my dog on the head. "Good job, Dagger." He panted and wagged his stump of a tail happily.

We walked out of the larder and Nan glared at the dog. "Well, here's the rabble rouser. Now, you, stay out of my larder!"

"I'm sorry he caused you trouble Nan."

One of the servants went towards the larder and let out a shriek. "Rats!"

Nan looked at me then back at the servants, "Stop all that now and get back to work! We're behind schedule and now the larder needs cleaning!" Turning to Dagger, "So, you chased rats here, did you? Are you proud of yourself?" Dagger just looked at her with his big brown eyes, drooped his ears and cowered. "Oh, don't you pull that 'poor dog' routine on me." She paused a moment then got something from a nearby table. "Here have some scraps and stay out of my way. I am extremely busy preparing rations for the soldiers! I have no time for any more interruptions!" Nan couldn't stay angry with Dagger long. She would never admit that she actually liked my dog.

Ser Gilmore said, "I have to get back to duty." He left the kitchen quickly before Nan could say anything to him about the mess.

I giggled at the thought of our Knight-Commander's fear. Nan looked at me with a smile, "When you see Fergus, tell him to be careful and I will have a hot meal waiting for him when he gets back."

"Sure, Nan. I'll tell him. I'm actually looking for him. You haven't seen him, have you?" I asked scratching Dagger behind the ears.

"Not since lunch. I'm sure he's busy with the preparations." she replied.

"Thanks anyway. Come on Dagger." I left the kitchen with Dagger at my heels.

...

I entered the courtyard outside the wing where our living quarters were located. My mother, Teyrna Eleanor Cousland was there along with three guests who had recently arrived. My mother did not show her age. She was tall, thin and very aristocratic. She kept her blonde hair shoulder length in two braids framing her face. She was dressed in a beautiful green and blue gown. Her blue eyes sparkled when she saw me.

"Hello dear." Mother studied me. "You remember Lady Landra?"

"Yes. Hello my lady." I responded and bowed.

Lady Landra was a head shorter than my mother and one of Highever's noblewomen. She was dressed in her finest but she looked dull standing next to my mother. She looked me over as if she were appraising me for purchase. "Hello. You remember my son Darrien?" she pointed to the handsome young man next to her, "and this is my hand maiden, Iona." A dainty young woman curtseyed.

"Welcome, I'm afraid I'm not dressed appropriately for a visit. Perhaps tomorrow over lunch, we could have a nice chat?"

"Your prowess with the sword is well known, my lady and I certainly don't mind your attire." Darrien said as he bowed, he could be quite charming when his mother was around, however, outside her presence, he was a self absorbed snob and I had no interest in him. I hoped this wasn't another of mother's attempts to find me a husband.

Mother was watching me and sensed my impatience, "Are you heading somewhere?"

"Yes, Father sent me to find Fergus. Do you know where he is?" I responded, trying to act at ease.

"If he isn't with his men, then he'll be with Oriana and Oren."

"By your leave?" I crossed my arms and bowed, then left them in the courtyard to head toward Fergus' rooms.

...

As I approached their sitting room, I could hear Fergus and Oriana talking. Fergus and Oriana had been married for seven years. Fergus was four years older than me and was a younger version of father. He kept his face clean shaven and his dark brown hair short.

Oriana was a beautiful, kind woman from Orlais whom Fergus had met in Denerim and fallen in love with at first sight. It had upset father at first, but Oriana loved my brother deeply. She had the prettiest accent to her voice. As soon as we met, she decided it was her mission to teach me ladyship skills. I loved both of them dearly.

Fergus was speaking as I entered. "Don't worry so much my dear. There will be a huge army there. I'll be lucky if I get close enough to see the fight, let alone sing my blade."

"Don't you patronize me!" Oriana scolded.

Fergus looked at me helplessly, "Sister, do something. I think she's going to send me to my room without dinner!" he laughed.

I giggled and said, "Should I leave you two alone?"

Just then Oren, Fergus' and Oriana's five year old son, my beloved nephew, came running in. "Did you hear?" he said excitedly. "There's a Grey Warden in the castle. I wonder if he rode in on a griffon?"

I smiled as Oriana tussled her son's light brown hair, "Oren, you know there are no more griffons. " She turned to me and asked, "Is there really a Grey Warden here?"

"Yes, he's recruiting. I believe he's going to offer a position to Ser Gilmore." I responded.

"If I was a Grey Warden," my brother put in, "I'd be looking at you."

"Fergus!" Oriana exclaimed.

"Well, it's true. She is a great warrior and would make an outstanding Grey Warden," he stated with pride.

"I wish I was going with you brother," I said with a note of sadness in my voice. "It's going to be very quiet around here. "

Oren piped up, "You can teach me how to use a sword, right Auntie? Then I can help guard the castle."

I smiled at him. "Well, if your mother and father agree, I will." I turned to Fergus. "Father wants you to take the troops ahead of him."

Fergus frowned. "So Arl Howe's men have been delayed. You would think they were walking backwards!" He looked at Oriana and Oren then said, "I should get underway."

At that moment mother and father walked in, "You weren't going to leave without saying goodbye, were you?" Mother asked as she gave Fergus a hug.

Father shook Fergus' hand and said to me, "Pup, you should get an early night. Tomorrow will be a very busy day."

I nodded and then I too hugged Fergus. "I still wish I was going with you." I said to him.

"Yes, it would be fun fighting side by side, but don't worry, we'll have other chances. The next tournament perhaps... as long as you don't do anything dumb while we're away, like burning down the castle."

I assumed my best mock indignant pose , "If I remember correctly, it was you who thought lighting a candle in our fort of sheets was a good idea."

He chuckled, "Yeah, I'll never forget Nan's face when she barged in and saw all her sheets on fire. I think we scrubbed the kitchen for a week after that."

"That reminds me, she said to wish you well."

He smiled. We both loved Nan. "Well, I had best be off then. When we get back we'll have lots of wine and wenches to celebrate." After seeing Oriana's face, he added, "For the men, of course!"

Oren decided to pipe up. "What's a wench? Is it what brings the water up from the well?"

Oriana and mother groaned. Fergus smiled. Father said laughing, "No Oren. A wench is what serves the wine in an Inn, " then he whispered, "_Or serves the man..."_

Mother gave him a swat. "Maker help me. I have two boys to deal with!" She looked at me, "Now mind your father and head off to bed."

I smiled at my loving family, gave Fergus one more hug and turned to my father. "Don't worry Father. I'll handle things here so you can concentrate on coming home safely."

Father hugged me and said, "I know pup. I am very proud of you. You have grown into a kind, compassionate young woman with a good head on your shoulders and I trust your judgment. I love you and will send news as soon as I can."

I hugged mother, "See you in the morning," and went off to my room.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I couldn't get rid of the feeling that something was wrong as I slipped under the silk covers of my feather bed. Dagger had already curled up in front of the fire in my bedroom, snoring loudly. I said a prayer to the Maker that my loved ones stay safe and laid my head on my pillow.

Barking and shouting woke me. I staggered out of bed, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Dagger was at the door barking and growling. Someone was in the hallway banging on doors and shouting.

Just then my door burst open and a servant ran in shouting, "My lady, there are assassins in the castle! Quickly, you must..."

Before he could finish, an arrow pierced him from behind and he fell forward into my arms. In the hall I could just discern out soldiers, but they weren't ours. Dagger ran out into the hallway and attacked the soldier who shot the servant. After easing the dead servant to the floor, I rushed to the armor stand next to my door, grabbed my sword and shield and ran out into the hallway. Two more men were running toward me in the hallway, one with a sword and one with a bow. I rushed the closest one, blocking his sword thrust with my shield. I ducked to avoid an arrow, maneuvered myself behind the swordsman and drew my blade across his throat. The bowman had switched to a dagger. I put all my weight behind my shield and ran full force into the man, knocking him to the ground. I thrust my sword into his chest, penetrating his armor and twisting to be sure he was dead. Dagger ran up, covered in blood, but panting with a happy dog grin. As I was pulling my blade out of the second man, mother rushed out of her room in her old leather armor with her bow drawn.

"Andraste's blood! What is going on? I thought I heard a scream..." She took one look at my bloodied night gown and panicked. "Are you all right?"

"Yes I'm not hit, this blood's not mine." I said, out of breath. I looked at her. "Are you alright? Who are they? Why are they doing this?"

Mother lowered her weapon and looked carefully at one of the men on the floor. "This is Howe's insignia. By the Maker, why would he attack us?" She looked at me, confused. We heard more shouting and fighting in the nearby courtyard.

"Are Oren and Oriana alright?" I asked.

"I don't know. I thought I heard someone screaming." Mother said with panic in her voice and we rushed to Fergus' door. She yanked the door open, gasped, and cried out "Oh Maker's breath!"

My mind would not accept what my eyes saw. Oriana was lying on top of Oren in a protective grasp, both were covered in blood and lifeless. "They aren't...?" I could feel tears welling up.

Mother was kneeling with her hand on Oren's neck. She looked at me with tears in her eyes. "Quickly Felicia, get dressed! We have to find your father."

I rushed back to my room and donned my armor faster than I had ever done in practice. "Wasn't he with you?" I asked, my voice muffled by my helm.

"No. He never came to bed." Mother replied.

As I came out into the hallway, fully armored, I asked, "What do we do now?"

"We must check on Lady Landra!" She said as she hurried to the guest rooms. The normally peaceful castle rang with shouts and sounds of fighting. The guest rooms were down the hall from our living area toward the courtyard. Those doors were open and mother cried out when she looked in. "Why! They were guests! There was no reason to kill them!" Lady Landra and Iona lay in pools of blood in one room. Darrien must have fought back because there was a dead Howe soldier in his room. Darrien's body was pinned to the wall with several arrows through his chest. His face twisted in agony.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. A massacre in my home. The safety and security I had once felt was wiped out by those images. I turned to mother with tears flowing and asked, "Where can we go?"

She hesitated a moment, wiping her own tears away, "There is an entrance to the castle through the servants' quarters. I'm sure your father will go there. " She hesitated again and then exclaimed, "Wait! The Cousland sword. I have the key to the treasury. I will not have our family sword lost to this traitor. Come, they may not have reached the treasury yet."

Dagger had run into the courtyard barking and growling. He raced to attack more soldiers. We headed toward the courtyard and met with three more of Howe's men. I ran forward, not even realizing I was yelling, and skewered the first with my blade. Mother's arrows flew past me toward the second attacker as the third rushed forward. I swung my shield against his head throwing him off balance enough to get in a sword strike to his weapon arm. I dodged just as he brought his shield up and then I thrust my blade into him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the other man go down as one of mother's arrows pierced his throat.

We headed through mother's garden. The hallway to the treasury was in the opposite direction from the great hall. The acrid smell of smoke assailed my nose. The garden was ablaze and flowers were trampled. I was bewildered by the sight. What did we do to incur such wrath?

We passed the library on our way to the treasury. It was also on fire and I saw Brother Aldous, my teacher, dead among the burning books. My eyes burned from the increasing smoke in the air and my thoughts flashed to happier days in the library learning from this wise scholar.

We reached the steel fortified treasury door. It was battered and scratched, but Howe's men hadn't been able to break it. Mother unlocked the door and we went in. "Thank Andraste. The Cousland sword is safe." she said.

I walked over to the display case and took the sword out. This was the first time I had actually held the sword and was surprised at the balance of the blade and the ease with which it fit my hand. I handed it hilt first to mother. "No, take it and use it." she said. "We need to make our way to the kitchen. The servants' entrance should still be a safe way out and by Andraste's grace your father will already be there."

I put my shorter blade in its scabbard at my side and swung the Cousland blade to get the feel. We made our way from the treasury back to the gardens and then to the main hall. Not many of Howe's men had penetrated as of yet and we were able to get to the great hall door without attack. It was broken open, hanging by one hinge. Ser Gilmore was fighting two more of Howe's men inside. There were guards at the end of the great hall holding the main gate closed as it rebounded against a battering ram's blows. I rushed to aid Ser Gilmore. I slashed at one of the attacker's legs. He moved quickly and counter-attacked. I rolled and brought my shield up to block his blow and braced against the impact. He thrust too hard, leaving himself open, and I took the advantage to pierce his shoulder from behind. He went down with a grunt and I stabbed my sword again to ensure he was dead. Ser Gilmore came rushing over, "Are you alright Lady Felicia?"

"I think so," I said, looking around the room. It was a shambles. The tapestry over the mantle was on fire. The tables and chairs were overturned and askew.

"Ser Gilmore. What's our status? Where's Bryce?" Mother rushed up, slightly out of breath.

"We're holding the gates for now but I'm not sure how long that will last. Teyrn Bryce and the Warden Duncan, were headed to the family wing to get you. Where's Lady Oriana and Oren?" he said worriedly.

Mother could only shake her head. I felt tears threatening, but I knew I couldn't afford them just now.

He paused, sadness showing in his eyes. "Teyrna Eleanor. Lady Felicia. You must get out of here. I'll stay here and hold them off as long as I can." He saw me hesitate. "Quickly!" he shouted at me.

We crossed the great hall to the other side door. As I opened it, I looked back to see Ser Gilmore join the men holding the front gate. Terrible cracking sounds were now coming from it and I knew it wouldn't hold long. We exited into the hallway that lead to the dining, kitchen and servant areas. We ran down the hallway to the servants quarters and rushed inside. The door to the small foyer was opened and I gasped at the sight that met my eyes.

Father was lying on the floor in a pool of blood, grasping his side. I quickly grabbed some towels from a cupboard and ran to him, pressing them into his side where he was trying to hold back the bleeding.

"Bryce! What happened?" Mother exclaimed and knelt down at his side.

"Howe's men...they almost got me before I realized ...what was happening...Duncan brought me here..." Each word sounded painful to my ears as he gasped for breath.

I looked down at the makeshift bandages which were already soaked with blood. "Why?" I held back a sob. "What reason could he have?"

Father looked at me with great sadness in his hazel eyes, then grimaced with pain. "I don't know pup... Where's Oriana...Oren?" He looked at Mother.

She shook her head sadly. "Bryce. We must leave. We need to get you to a healer." Mother said, concern and fear mounting in her voice.

"I'm... afraid I... won't last... the standing..." he gasped and looked at me. "Take your mother.. and go."

"Father, don't talk like that!" I said, shaking my head and ignoring the blood oozing between my fingers from the soaked towels. "I'm not giving up on you yet!"

Duncan came in. "I'm glad to see the two of you are still alive."

"You must be Duncan, the Grey Warden." Mother said. "I am here thanks to my daughter's skills."

"That does not surprise me. But, the Teyrn is correct, there is no time to lose. You must make your escape." Duncan said glancing back behind him as a terrible thunderous crash was heard.

"I won't leave my father behind!" I stated as firmly as I could.

"Pup, listen to me...my time is up...Duncan, please...take my ...wife and daughter...somewhere safe..." he was getting weaker, I could hear it.

"Yes. My lord. But on one condition." Duncan looked at me then back at my father.

Father looked at me and then at mother. "Agreed," he rasped.

"Father. Don't give up!" I was on the brink of losing whatever control I had. "We can save you."

"No...pup." he said the pain echoing in his harsh voice.

Duncan looked at me with great sadness. "Your father is correct. Come, we must leave now."

I looked at my father with pleading eyes.

"Please, pup...go" he choked.

Mother hadn't moved. Duncan looked at her and said, "Come Teyrna, we must make haste."

"I'm not going," she stated resolutely.

"But Eleanor..." father gasped.

"I'm staying with you," she said firmly, "I will kill every man that comes through that door to buy you time, Duncan, but you must get our daughter out of here."

"NO!" I shouted, tears now running freely down my face.

"Felicia Anne Cousland!" mother snapped, then said more softly, "My place is with your father. You must survive. Find Fergus. Tell him what happened. Keep our sword safe and use it to avenge the family."

Hearing my full name made me straighten up and gather my emotions. I was a Cousland and my parents had ensured that both of their children were trained to uphold the family name with honor and pride. "I will make you both proud," I declared resolutely.

"You already have... pup..." father said barely.

I reached out and hugged both of them fiercely. Sobbing, I stood and then did the hardest thing I had ever done in my life. I turned my back on my parents and followed the Grey Warden out of the castle. I thought I could hear the twang of mother's bow as we made our way into the woods and turned south toward Ostagar. I turned and looked back at the place that had been my home. Fires burning throughout the keep illuminated the darkness. The thick burning smell of smoke hung heavy in the air as I turned and hurried to keep up with my rescuer.

...

I lost track of time as we hurried south. Minutes turned into hours and then the sun was rising. I was numb, walking without thinking about anything except putting one foot in front of the other. My eyes were fixed firmly on the back of the Grey Warden leading me to whatever the future held. My face was smeared with dirt, blood and tears.

Duncan kept us to the wooded areas, away from well traveled roads. Ostagar was well to the south and it would take us several days to get there. We had left so quickly that neither of us had any provisions. Duncan picked mushrooms, nuts and berries for us to eat as we walked and we would stop for brief rests when we found water.

As night fell, Duncan found a small clearing and began to set up camp. As I gathered twigs and branches for the fire, I remembered times I had camped with my father and Fergus enough. When I had an armful, I headed back to where Duncan had placed the rock circle for the fire and set the twigs down. I sat on a nearby log. All I could do was think about my family..._'if only_. _If only I had awoken earlier. If only I had thought to air my misgivings to father. I realized that Howe had waited until the bulk of our troops had left with Fergus...Oh, Fergus. How can I tell him?' _Visions of Oriana and Oren flashed and tears silently cascaded down my cheeks.

Duncan had gone into the woods and as he returned to the clearing he said, "Look what I found." A happy bark sounded, I was bowled over and covered with dog kisses by Dagger. "He must have followed us." Duncan said, and watched as I hugged Dagger fiercely, crying with the relief of seeing him alive.

I sat at the fire, thoughts of all I had lost resounding through my head. I cried and hugged Dagger for quite awhile. Dagger just sat licking at me when he could, trying to comfort me. I finally got myself under control enough to smell something cooking. Curious, I looked up and saw a rabbit roasting over the fire. I stood and followed the sound of trickling water to a small creek near our campsite. I knelt down and washed the grime from my face. The cool water helped ease my sadness.

When the meat had finished cooking, Duncan sliced some and handed it to me. "You need to eat to keep your strength up. We will be keeping a brisk pace on our way to Ostagar." Duncan said.

I took the meat and ate without really tasting it. I gave some to Dagger who swallowed it greedily. I was exhausted from everything that had happened. I stared into the fire, trying to calm my thoughts. My mind was a blur with too many different feelings to contend with. I had never actually killed anyone before. During the heat of battle, I didn't even realize what I was doing. Now, looking back, I was a little frightened by the thought that I could kill so easily. I thought about the castle and all of the people who died who couldn't defend themselves and tears welled up. As I choked them down, I realized that Duncan was watching me. "What will happen to me now?" I asked.

"You will become a Grey Warden." Duncan said.

I was startled. I looked at him and thought. _'A Grey Warden? Me? Now of all times?' _

"When we get to Ostagar, we have a battle with darkspawn to contend with and I need more wardens. I came to Highever to find a recruit. You were my first choice, but I knew your father wouldn't allow it," he looked at me with compassion in his eyes. "Your best chance to avenge your family is as a Grey Warden. That is why your father consented."

I looked at him in shock. _'How could I be a Grey Warden now?' _I had just lost everything. I was angry, tired and sad. I had never been in a battle and now it seemed I wasn't going to be over this one before I was thrust into another. I knew about darkspawn from Brother Aldous' teachings. There were as many varieties of darkspawn as there were people. All of them were vile beings that lived in the Deep Roads a place the dwarves had built deep underground. The only time darkspawn came to the surface was during a Blight and the last Blight was over four hundred years ago. I remembered the lessons and suppressed a shudder.

"I suggest we get to sleep. Your hound will come in handy to help guard," he said looking at Dagger.

Dagger made a grunting noise and moved to a point in between us as if he understood his role and was ready to fulfill it.

I sighed and realized how weary I was. I had been lucky. During the battle and escape from the castle, I had managed to sustain only superficial nicks and cuts, but my muscles were sore from the unaccustomed amount of fighting and the long hike. I forced myself to walk around our campsite a bit, gathering leaves and pine needles, and then I created a makeshift bed. My armor was getting uncomfortable, but I had no change of clothes, so I adjusted the best I could and laid down.

...

"Nooooo!" I screamed out and sat up. The first rays of the morning sun were breaking through the trees. The events of the night before had played out again in my dreams. I was overwhelmed with grief, and I shook uncontrollably. _'How can I go on, now that I had lost everything?' _I thought. Duncan was already awake and he approached me.

"Are you alright?" he asked, concerned, and laid a hand gingerly on my shoulder.

I drew a deep breath _'I was a Cousland. I may be the last and I needed to represent our family's strength and honor_._' _I thought. Aloud I said, "I'll be alright. I just had a bad dream." I took another deep breath to control my racing heart.

Duncan took his hand off my shoulder and gave me an almost fatherly look. "Time will make it better. But for now, we must concentrate on reaching Ostagar. I think we are safe enough to get to the main road and perhaps stop at the next village for a few supplies."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Duncan and I crossed the stone bridge over a deep dry gorge into Ostagar in the late afternoon after four days of arduous travel. Ostagar was once a mighty fortress guarding the southern regions. Now it is mostly ruins. Broken stone columns lay scattered amongst various heights of brick walls that remained. The forest was slowly taking over, vines reaching for the sky wrapped themselves around the few remaining columns. Trees had sprung up in what were once rooms and hallways. Nothing wooden from the original structures remained. The former fort entrance was now just broken statues of former knights and crumbling brickwork covered in moss.

As we approached, I heard Duncan say "I didn't expect..."

"A royal welcome?" King Cailen Theirin finished. He and his guards stood in front of us. Duncan and I knelt down on one knee. I glanced up at my King and felt my heart flutter, I had known Cailen all of my life and we were good friends. He looked quite handsome with his shoulder length blonde hair held back from his face by two neat braids. His hazel eyes shone with excitement and he was clean shaven. Dressed in his kingly finery of blue silk shirt and black silk trousers, both stitched with gold embroidery, he was quite the dashing figure. He was flanked on both sides by his personal guards. "I was beginning to worry I would be going into the battle without my Warden-Commander at my side."

"You did receive my message that I was going to Highever before returning?" Duncan asked as we knelt. I took off my helm sneaking glances at my kingly friend.

"Yes, though I'm not sure why one more recruit needed to be obtained." Cailen raised his eyebrows in surprise as he looked at me.

"We need as many as we can get, your majesty. Let me introduce..." Duncan started to say.

"Felicia!" Cailen exclaimed. "Stand up my friend and let me look at you. It has been too long since we've last visited. You look beautiful as always." He gave me a quick hug and I blushed wondering how in my present state he could be so charming. "Duncan, what did you do to get Bryce to agree?" he looked at Duncan suspiciously.

"I'm afraid I have bad news. Arl Renden Howe has proved himself a traitor and attacked Highever Castle, murdering everyone there, including the Teyrn and Teyrna. We just barely escaped." Duncan stated flatly.

"I would not believe it possible. Why would Renden do such a thing? Everyone dead, even Oriana and Oren?" Cailen said in shock.

"I'm afraid so." Duncan replied sadly.

Cailen began pacing and looked very agitated . My eyes were threatening to tear and I swallowed hard as Cailen looked first at Duncan then at me. "I swear to you that as soon as we get back to Denerim, I will take care of this. Arl Howe will be brought to justice," he vowed.

I bowed. "Thank you, your majesty." I said formally. "I must find Fergus. He should hear this sad news from me."

"Your brother arrived late yesterday. Early this morning I sent him to lead a small regiment into the Wilds to prevent darkspawn from flanking us. I'm afraid you will have to wait until after the battle to see him," he said sadly.

"Truth be told, I'm not eager to tell my brother this news," I said.

"Yes, bad news can always wait," he looked at me sympathetically, then turned to Duncan. "My scouts have brought news that the darkspawn army is approaching more quickly than anticipated. The new estimate is that they will arrive just after dawn tomorrow."

"Then I have much to do before the morning." Duncan declared.

Cailen turned to go. "Duncan, bring Felicia to our strategy meeting tonight after the ritual." He strode off purposefully.

I looked at Duncan questioningly, but Duncan only shrugged.

"I have a few things to do before we begin the ritual. Could you find Alistair for me? He's the junior Grey Warden that will be helping me. He should be loitering around my fire which is straight ahead. The griffon flag is on my tent."

"Certainly." I said.

"Thank you. I'll meet you there after I've finished. I'll take the dog with me if you don't mind." Dagger, who had been sitting quietly to one side, barked happily and Duncan seemed pleased.

...

I gazed about, taking in the layout of the encampment. Tents were set up among the fallen pillars for the various groups that had gathered. I could see flags and banners flying over them to signify their house. As I stood there marveling at the sight of the large gathering, a guard came up.

"Hello. I saw you come in with Duncan. You seem a little lost," he said "Can I help you find anything?"

"Yes, thank you. I'm looking for his camp." I responded.

"Oh, it's right there." My gaze followed his pointing finger toward the griffon flag fluttering in the breeze.

"Thank you again." I said and walked in that direction. I suddenly became very self-conscious. I wondered if I might see some of our troops here. What would I tell them? I decided that the best course of action was to remain as anonymous as possible. This was a large encampment and I could easily slip behind trees or tents if I saw someone to avoid. I wanted to tell Fergus myself and not have him hear about Highever through the soldiers' grapevine. I made my way carefully and kept an eye out.

There was a solitary man sitting on a log at the fire in front of Duncan's tent. As I approached, he stood and bowed. "Daveth at your service, pretty lady, what may I do for you?" Daveth had a dark complexion and was small and wiry. His black hair was long and pulled into a low ponytail. He gave every impression of being a scoundrel. He was dressed in leather armor and had daggers sheathed at his waist. His eyes watched me appraisingly.

"I am Felicia. Duncan asked me to find Alistair," I replied, returning his bow.

"I think the Reverend Mother sent him on a mission to the mages," he looked at me. "Are you a recruit?"

"Yes." I replied.

"Well, we'll have to get better acquainted," he leered at me and stepped closer.

"I am on an errand for Duncan." I reminded him. "You said I could find Alistair with the mages?"

Daveth sat back down, frustrated. "Yes, the mages are over in the northeast corner."

I rolled my eyes. When I was dressed in my armor, men either flattered my looks with attempts to seduce me or they assailed me with stories of their bravery to impress me of their masculinity. I began walking toward the northeast when I came across a small group of people discussing the Wilds. One young man in the group stepped forward and exclaimed, "Lady Cousland! What are you doing here?"

I looked at the soldier and recognized him vaguely but I couldn't figure out from where.

"I'm Ser Jory. I'm sure you don't recognize me, but I met you at the Redcliffe tournament two years ago," he said.

I looked closer at the knight in front of me. He was short and stocky, his brown hair cut close to his head, his bright eyes watching me eagerly. The memory flashed in my mind and I bowed to him, "Ser Jory, I remember you. I thoroughly enjoyed our match at the tournament," I said. "Are you here with an army?"

"Warden-Commander Duncan recruited me," he said. "It was hard leaving my wife, we're expecting our first child soon and she hated seeing me go, but it's such an honor to be a Grey Warden that I couldn't turn Duncan down. What about you? Are you accompanying your father's men?"

I hesitated, wondering how to answer his question, finally I pleaded, "No, Duncan recruited me as well. Please don't let anyone know who I am. I just want to be treated as myself, an equal, and not protected like a noblewoman."

"I can do that, Felicia," he smiled. "I know that you'll do great. You were the talk of the tournament then, and I can't wait to see you in action now, especially with two more years of training."

"Thank you." I smiled at him. "By the way, Duncan sent me to find Alistair. Have you seen him?"

"Sorry, I haven't seen him today. If Duncan is here I had better head to his camp," and he hurried away.

I continued walking toward the mages tents. I felt I could trust Ser Jory to keep my secret, but the idea that I might actually be held back or coddled worried me a bit. I wanted to fight, to vent all this pent up rage over what had happened in Highever. I noticed the flags of the Circle of Magi over some tents and headed that way. I saw a woman standing outside a tent and approached her. She was an elderly woman, but held herself regally. "Hello." I said and bowed.

"Hello young lady, may I help you?" she asked.

"Yes. I am Felicia," I replied. "I'm looking for the Grey Warden, Alistair. He was last seen over this way."

"Oh, he's up on that ridge. Just follow the shouting," she smiled.

I headed toward the ridge. It didn't take long for me to hear the raised voices.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe the Reverend Mother was getting revenge on me by having me deliver the message?" The sarcasm in the man's voice was very evident.

"You could just deliver the message and not harass me about it." There was anger in the other man's voice.

I was able to see the two men as I approached. One was dressed in the robes of a mage and the other in armor. Both men were facing each other and you could almost see the sparks from their anger in the air.

"Yes. I was harassing you by delivering a message." The armored man responded with more sarcasm.

"Enough! I will go speak with the woman if I must!" The mage glared at the armored man and walked right into me as he was leaving. "Get out of my way, fool!" he spat and stormed off.

"You know," the armored man said as he glanced at me, "one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together," he smiled broadly.

"Sorry - what?" I asked.

"Just trying to find a bright spot in all of this - wait, we haven't met. You aren't another mage are you?" he looked at me carefully.

"No." I stammered under his intense scrutiny. "Duncan sent me to find Alistair. I'm Felicia."

"Well you found me Felicia. " Alistair said. "Are you the recruit from Highever?"

"Yes." I watched him closely, waiting for the inevitable reaction.

"Huh. You know," he said musing. "there aren't many women in the Grey Wardens now that I think of it. I wonder why that is," he paused a moment. "Well, you must have impressed Duncan or you wouldn't be here. Welcome to the Grey Wardens. Now let's go see what Duncan wants."

...

As we walked toward Duncan's campsite, I took the time to sneak curious glances at my companion. I could tell he was focused on his thoughts by the look in his gray eyes. He was a bit taller than me and had short reddish gold hair. His clean cut, handsome features were vaguely familiar but I couldn't decide why. My thoughts were interrupted as we approached Duncan, Ser Jory, and Daveth who were all waiting at the fire.

Duncan looked at us and sighed. "Ah, Alistair. I hear you've been causing trouble with the mages."

"It's not my fault!" Alistair looked like a kid who had been caught with his hand in a cookie jar. "The Reverend Mother cornered me. The way she wields guilt, she should be in the army."

Duncan rolled his eyes, "And the Reverend Mother told you to sass the mages, I suppose?"

Alistair smirked and somehow looked even guiltier.

Duncan rolled his eyes. "Let's get to the business at hand," he said formally. "You three have been chosen as Grey Warden candidates. Felicia from Highever, Jory from Redcliffe and Daveth from Lothering. This is Alistair the junior Grey Warden who will witness your ritual." He gestured to each of us in turn. "You have two tasks to perform before the joining. The first is to go into the Korcari Wilds and obtain three vials of blood from freshly killed darkspawn."

Ser Jory interjected. "Wait? Go into the Wilds! Isn't that dangerous?"

I looked at him, surprised. "Isn't fighting darkspawn what being a Grey Warden is all about?"

"Well, yes but..." he said, swallowing hard.

"Alistair will be with you." Duncan said dismissively and continued, "The second task is to retrieve some scrolls left in the Warden archive. It's mostly ruins now, but the chest that they were in should be intact. Alistair, here's a map of the location." he handed Alistair a rolled piece of parchment. He looked at the sky, then at the four of us and said, "Time is of the essence, you do not want to be in the Wilds after dark, so you must be on your way."

"I'll be with you," Alistair said, "but I'm not there to make the task easier for you."

...

My companions and I walked toward the path leading into the Korcari Wilds. I had read stories of the Wilds, but had never been there before. Most of the stories revolved around the wolves and other dangerous wild animals that inhabited the area. As I walked into the densely forested area near Ostagar, I could hear the wind blowing in the trees, birds singing, and the sound of water from the nearby marshes. It was difficult to believe in the dangers when there was this peace around us.

We had only been walking a short while when Alistair stopped, cocked his head, and then said, "We should head over in that way," he pointed toward a clearing off to the west.

We turned that direction and as we entered the clearing a trio of darkspawn leapt out of the bushes. They were ugly monsters that resembled men only vaguely . They were short, about the height of dwarves and appeared to be wearing armor scraps. Not hesitating, I drew my sword and rushed forward. I reached my target and brought my sword down in a slashing blow that separated the monster's weapon arm from its shoulder. I swung around, drove my blade through its armor and into its chest killing it. I looked over and saw that Daveth and Ser Jory were finishing off their targets, so I knelt by my creature and dug out the vial that Duncan had given me.

"Make sure you use your rags to clean your weapons and hands. Darkspawn blood is poisonous," Alistair warned.

I capped the vial and cleaned everything carefully with my rag. I watched the others do the same.

"If this stuff is so dangerous, why are we collecting it?" Ser Jory looked at Alistair with a hint of fear.

"I'm sure this is part of our test," I said starting to get annoyed with Ser Jory, "and we still need to get the scrolls."

Alistair nodded and pointed toward the north. Looking up at the orange hued sunset, he said, "We need to hurry. I don't want to be in the Wilds any longer than we have to."

As Alistair guided us, he would stop, cock his head and change direction every now and then. Shortly, we arrived at the site of some ancient ruins. Alistair went up to a corner and after clearing away some underbrush, found an old chest. It was already open and completely empty.

A sultry voice came from behind a pillar, "What are they, I wonder? Thieves, scavengers?" A beautiful woman with long black hair appeared,dressed in a very revealing set of black robes, and carrying a staff. My companions and I were stunned momentarily by her sudden appearance. "I have watched these trespassers and wondered, where do they go? Why are they here?"

Daveth gasped. "It's the witch of the wilds! I've heard stories - she's going to turn us into toads!"

The woman looked at Daveth in a way that someone would look at an unworthy creature. "Oh!" she purred, "so you believe that I'm one of the chastened and that more of us will be swooping down on you."

Alistair mumbled, "Yes, swooping is bad."

Ser Jory looked around, "We should get out of here."

The woman looked at me and said, "So again, I wonder who you are? Woman, you look more level headed than these boys, what say you?"

I looked into her dark eyes, then bowed and said, "My name is Felicia. We are Grey Wardens and it is a pleasure to meet you."

"A proper civil greeting! What a pleasant surprise," she said. "My name is Morrigan and allow me to guess your purpose: you are looking for something that is here no longer."

Daveth leaned over to Ser Jory and mumbled, "It's a sneaky witch thief." I glared at them.

Alistair said, "Those documents are Grey Warden property. We need them back."

"I don't have them. 'Twas my mother who removed them from this place. I can take you to her if you wish," she said.

"Careful, first it's 'trust me I won't hurt you', then zap you're a frog and she puts you in a pot," Daveth muttered nervously.

"Be quiet, Daveth!" I hissed and glared at him again.

Morrigan led the way and shortly we were in front of a small house. There was an elderly woman tending to a pot over a fire. "Greetings mother," she said, "I have brought you four Grey Wardens."

"I see them girl," she had a raspy voice. "Just as I expected."

"You were expecting us?" Alistair asked quizzically.

"I'm telling you, they're witches! We are in danger here!" Daveth said, now a little panicky.

The elder woman gave a raspy laugh and looked at me. "So we are witches, are we? You, girl, what do you say?"

I looked at her and said cautiously. "I choose to reserve judgment until I have learned more."

"Yes," she looked deeply into my eyes. "You might be... Yes, I do believe you are," she said firmly then took some scrolls out of her pocket and handed them to me. "I have protected these. The seal on the chest wore off long ago. The threat is greater than anyone realizes and these may be necessary." Confused, I took them and put them in my pack.

Alistair watched in amazement and stuttered, "You protected them? What threat? The Archdemon?"

She looked at Alistair with amusement in her eyes, but said nothing.

Morrigan said, "Well, now that you have what you came for..."

"Morrigan, your manners, these are our guests," the old woman chastised. "Please show them safely out of the Wilds."

"Alright, follow me," she said sourly. We followed Morrigan without incident to the gates of Ostagar where she left us, turning and disappearing back into the wilds.

The four of us worked our way through the camp to Duncan's fire. Dagger barked happily and ran to me. I scratched his head and looked around at the encampment. Night had begun to fall and the various fires stood out in the shadows.

Duncan was waiting at the fire for us. "Have you returned successful from your venture?"

"Yes," I said, "here are the scrolls and the vials." I handed him the scrolls and my vial. Daveth and Ser Jory handed him theirs.

"We met an odd pair of women during our venture," Alistair said.

"You can fill me in on the details later, Alistair." Duncan said and looked at the three of us. "We will perform the ceremony at the old temple ruins on the east side away from camp. You will need all your courage for the next step."

"More tests?" Ser Jory complained. "I thought we were chosen because we were already worthy enough to join the Grey Wardens."

"We have but to perform the ritual," Duncan said.

I looked at him and thought I noticed a hint of worry. Alistair also had a more serious look on his face as he started to head for the old temple. I followed, along with my fellow recruits.

...

The old temple was set away from the camp area and was secluded from sight. I knew from the stories of the prowess of the Grey Wardens, about their ability to fight Blights, but I knew nothing about the actual joining ceremony. Duncan look at us and began formally, "The Grey Wardens were founded during the first Blight. It was these courageous leaders that drank of darkspawn blood and mastered the taint. "

"WAIT!" shouted Ser Jory. "You want us to drink the blood of those creatures! It's poison, we'll die."

"Yes. You shall drink the blood, as the first Grey Wardens have before you, and as we also have," Duncan motioned to Alistair and to himself. "The taint is the source of our power. Those who survive become immune to the Blight sickness, can sense any darkspawn near them, and are able to slay the archdemon."

"Those who survive..." Ser Jory moaned. "What if...?"

"Not all who drink the blood survive and those that do are forever changed. That is why we keep the joining secret." Duncan said gravely. "There are only a few words that are said before the ritual. Alistair, if you would?"

Alistair recited:

_"__Join us, brothers and sisters._

_Join us in the shadows where we stand, vigilant._

_Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn._

_And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten _

_and that one day we shall join you."_

"Daveth, step forward." Duncan said. "You need only take a sip," he cautioned.

Daveth looked almost eager as he stepped forward to take a large silver chalice from Duncan's hands. He lifted it to his lips and tilted it slightly. Duncan took the cup back as a spasm jerked Daveth's body to the ground. He let out an awful howl, his body shaking violently in agony. He yelled once more and his body became still and quiet.

"I am sorry," Duncan said sadly, looking at the lifeless body. He paused and said. "Ser Jory step forward."

Ser Jory panicked. His head whipped from side to side, looking for an escape. "No! I won't do this. I have a wife with a child on the way! You can't make me! No one said anything about this!" He started backing away from Duncan, who had drawn his sword. Ser Jory looked from Alistair to me, pleading for help. "You can't let him do this!" he yelled and backed into a pillar. The movement from Duncan's sword was so fast, I almost didn't see it and then Ser Jory was dead in a heap on the ground.

"I am truly sorry," Duncan said and looked at me with great sadness in his eyes. "Felicia, step forward."

I straightened my back. Whatever happened next was up to Andraste. I stepped forward with all my courage and took the chalice. It was heavier than it looked and glancing in I could see the dark vile liquid swirling. The smell was worse than the darkspawn themselves. I raised the cup to my lips and took a small amount into my mouth. Duncan was taking the cup as I forced myself to swallow the bitter liquid. It burned my mouth and throat as it went down. The first spasm took me by surprise and I collapsed to my knees. The pain was unbearable and I let out a scream as more spasms shook me. My vision blurred and I saw creatures that looked like darkspawn surrounding me and growling. A huge dragon was resting on a rocky ridge over me and as it roared my whole body quaked. My vision blurred again and when it cleared I saw Duncan leaning over me.

"It is finished," Duncan declared, relief in his voice. "Welcome, Grey Warden," and he held out his hand to me.

I took it and stood. My legs were rubbery and I felt very weak, but I was alive and no longer in any pain.

"Are you alright?" Alistair asked, concerned.

I nodded. "Yes. The pain...was unbelievable."

"Did you have visions? I had terrible visions during my joining," he said quietly.

"Visions and many other things will be explained in the months to come," Duncan interrupted. "The last thing we do is put some blood in a pendant for you to wear in remembrance of all who did not survive the joining."

I took my pendant and steadied my shaky hands as I looped the chain over my head and around my neck.

Duncan shook his head in sadness as he looked at the bodies on the ground. "Two more casualties," he said grimly. "Felicia, kindly accompany me to meet with King Cailen. Alistair, would you please clean up here?"

Alistair nodded and began to work on his grim task.

Duncan began walking toward the exit of the temple and I followed, my strength returning slowly.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N - Thank you for reading this. I know there are a lot of stories out there based on the Female Human Noble Origin gameplay. When I started this story, I had stayed fairly close to the gameplay, but as the story took a life of its own, I started to deviate a bit. I truly appreciate any feedback you may want to leave. -Again - Bioware owns all - I'm just borrowing it-_

Chapter 4

King Cailen was at a large stone table strewn with maps. There were several people surrounding the table watching as he argued with another man whom I recognized as Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir. I had never met the Teyrn formally, but I had seen a painting of him once in Denerim. He had fought alongside Cailen's father, King Meric Theirin, during the war to protect Ferelden from a takeover by the kingdom of Orlais. King Meric had given him the title of Teyrn as a reward and Cailen had married Loghain's daughter, Anora. Loghain's legend as the Hero of River Dane fit the formidable presence that I now beheld. He was a large muscular man, with shoulder length black hair. All of his face including his hazel eyes showed the anger he was holding back.

"Don't you think it's rather dangerous for you to be on the front lines, your highness?" Loghain was saying.

"No more dangerous than anywhere else, besides, my Grey Wardens will be there." Cailen said proudly.

"Your fascination with legend and glory will be your undoing!" Loghain spat. "Oh look, here are two of your precious wardens now."

"Your majesty." Duncan and I bowed.

King Cailen looked at me admiringly and with a hint of jealousy, "Congratulations, Felicia," he turned to Duncan. "The scouts have reported that the army marching toward us is rather large; however, there has been no sign of the archdemon."

"You sound disappointed, your majesty," Duncan said.

"Well, I rather wanted a battle to match the stories of old. The great king going to war against the archdemon with the Grey Wardens at his side. You know, the stuff of legends." Cailen swaggered a bit as he said this.

Loghain looked disgusted but Duncan only shook his head. "Your majesty, I know there is an archdemon, but do not wish it upon us before we are properly prepared."

He paused and looked around the table, "Yes, now that we're all here; at first light, I will lead the charge with the Grey Wardens and the bulk of the troops. Your mages" he pointed to a mage standing nearby, "will be here." He then pointed to a spot on the map. "That will give you the advantage of height in which to cast your spells. Loghain, you and your men will be here," he pointed to another spot, "and when the beacon is lit, you will charge and the darkspawn will be pinned between our troops with nowhere to run."

"Who will you have light the beacon, my lord?" a warrior asked.

Cailen looked at Duncan and said, "I thought that we could send Alistair and Felicia."

"Two wardens, just to light a fire?" Loghain asked incredulously.

"The Tower of Ishal is not without its dangers. The beacon is extremely important," Cailen said. He looked at Duncan.

"I agree," Duncan said. Loghain just rolled his eyes and looked at me angrily.

"Are we all agreed then?" Cailen looked around the table as a chorus of "We are ready, my lord," resounded from all in attendance.

"Yes, then let us retire and dream of victory speeches and celebrations." Cailen smiled broadly. Loghain shook his head in frustration as everyone attending dispersed. "Congratulations again, Felicia," Cailen said as he turned toward his tent.

"Thank you, your majesty," I said, bowing. Duncan and I walked back to Duncan's camp.

Dagger wagged his tail and danced around when he saw me. A servant came over with two bowls of steaming stew and two mugs of ale from the camp cook. Duncan was quiet as we sat and ate the late meal. I didn't think I could possibly be hungry, but when I smelled the food, my mouth watered. I looked up when I had finished eating to see Duncan watching me intently.

"I am sorry that I cannot give you a better introduction to the Wardens. What I can offer you is a tent of your own to sleep in rather than bunking with the rest of the Wardens tonight. You can be formally introduced after the battle." He paused and took a drink of his ale. "We only have a few hours for you to sleep and regain your strength, so I brought you this," he handed me a potion. "This is a restorative I had the mages create. Drink this, then into bed. We will meet with Alistair in the morning to discuss your orders."

I drank the potion which was a little on the sweet side. It had a calming, soothing effect and I found myself fighting sleep as I entered my tent and took off my armor. There was a large bowl with water, soap and a towel. I washed myself down and climbed onto the cot, pulling the blanket up over me. I thanked the Maker that it was off the ground and fell promptly asleep.

...

I became aware of strange creatures grunting and growling at me. There were jaws snapping and I was terrified as I looked for a way out of a deep dark chasm. I could see darkspawn of all shapes and sizes surrounding me. Suddenly, there was a great wind as something large flew overhead and landed on a rocky outcropping above me. It was the dragon and it gave a deafening roar as I bolted out of my bed. Dagger looked at me quizzically. Thank the Maker I hadn't cried out in my sleep. I didn't need anyone thinking the new warden was a screaming little girl. I pulled back the opening of my tent to glance out and saw the pink tinges of dawn. I reached for my armor and saw that it had been cleaned during the night and that a fresh set of small clothes was provided, as well as new water. I gratefully cleaned up and got dressed.

My armor was created for me personally by Highever's dwarven smithy Varnac. The knee-high boots were soft leather inside a hard steel covering. They were flexible enough to maneuver in, but strong enough to prevent my ankles from giving way. The main piece was a skirted body suit that opened on the left side. It was held shut by metal clips to prevent any weak areas. The inside was soft leather protected by a very flexible chain mail that was sewn onto it. The skirt reached my knees but fluid enough that I could move easily. The short sleeves of the suit ended in the middle of my upper arms, and my long leather gloves came to my elbow. My helm was steel that had been molded to protect my head and face, but prevented any blind spots. It covered my head, the back of my neck, and shielded most of my face. My armor was like a second skin to me, and cleaned, it felt good to put on.

Alistair and Duncan were sitting at the fire having an animated discussion as I emerged from my tent.

"Ah, good morning." Duncan smiled. "Have some food while we discuss your mission."

There was some stew in a bowl near the fire and a mug of ale off to one side. I took the meal and sat down next to them to eat. I became aware of a peculiar buzzing that seemed to be in my head. It was not loud, but it was annoying. I tried to ignore it.

"Why are we going to the tower? I want to be in the battle fighting with you, not lighting some fire," Alistair said unhappily.

"The Tower of Ishal is not secured. There may be wandering darkspawn. It would do no good to have the person responsible for lighting the beacon to be killed. Loghain's men must attack at the precise moment or we may lose this fight," Duncan said sternly. "Since you can sense the darkspawn it is only logical to send you."

"And since we're the most junior of the wardens, we're the least needed," Alistair said glumly. I couldn't help but think that he sounded like Oren when Fergus or Oriana hadn't allowed him to do something. I could feel the grief coming back and I swallowed it with a swig of the ale.

"That is not the case," Duncan responded, "there will be plenty of other battles for you to take part in."

"Just not this one," Alistair muttered.

I had wondered myself why we were the ones chosen to light a beacon. I watched Duncan and Alistair quietly. Their relationship seemed more like father and son than Commander and soldier. My mind flashed to Fergus arguing with father once over something I could not remember. Again, I felt the sadness edging its way in, so I concentrated on the mission ahead of us.

I finished eating and Duncan said, "The Tower of Ishal is on the other side of the gorge. You are to make your way to the top of the tower where the pyre has been set up. A griffon flag will be waved from the battlefield to let you know that it is time to light the beacon. Be quick about getting to the top. You will not have too much time. After the beacon is lit, there may be an opportunity for you to join the fighting, but the beacon must stay lit until Loghain responds. Is that clear?"

"Yes sir," Alistair said somberly. "Maker be with you," and he bowed to Duncan.

"Maker be with us all." Duncan said. I bowed as he smiled encouragingly at me and I followed Alistair out of the campsite toward the Tower of Ishal with Dagger trotting along behind.

...

As the day dawned brighter, a storm could be seen in the distance. We crossed the stone bridge and I could hear the troops marching to battle in the gorge below. The Tower of Ishal sat on a rise, high over the battlefield. I looked over the edge of the bridge we were crossing and was amazed at the size of the army moving into position. I could see King Cailen in his shining gold armor in front of the first garrison of men, Duncan at his side. The first defense line held tower shields, long pikes and marched in unison. Behind this formidable line of defense marched a large army. I could make out the various insignias on shields and felt my heart beat faster when I saw the familiar Highever crest. Alistair touched my arm and pointed toward the tower. I reluctantly left the stone wall and followed him. It was getting darker as the storm approached rapidly and soon it began to rain. I started to get very uneasy, something didn't feel right - the lightning, and wind along with the rain that was getting heavier by the minute didn't alleviate my mood. A mage came running up as we approached the tower.

Out of breath, he panted, "The tower has been taken by darkspawn! Everyone is dead! Are you Grey Wardens?"

"Yes, we are here to light the beacon," Alistair stated and looked at me. "I'm sure he's exaggerating, this area was cleared of darkspawn," he cocked his head and then shook it. "Let's go."

The mage joined us as we headed closer to the tower. I realized that the strange buzzing in my head had gotten stronger. It almost felt like I had bees in my hair and they were crawling around. I reached up to touch my head, but my helm blocked my hand. I almost walked into Alistair before I realized he had stopped on the stairs to the tower.

"Maker's breath," he muttered, cocking his head to the side again. "What are so many darkspawn doing here?"

"Weren't you just complaining that you weren't going to get to fight?" I teased him.

"Well, there is a silver lining to this mission after all!" he declared happily and opened the door to the tower.

The Tower of Ishal was the only building standing intact at Ostagar. It had been the main watch tower for the fort and was extremely large. The stone structure was circular with large open rooms on each floor. A wide stone staircase wound upward along the wall. Each floor stood at least fifteen feet high and had several stone columns throughout the room supporting the next level. We entered the tower on the first floor. There were darkspawn here, similar to the one I fought in the Korcari Wilds, and they were standing over dead guardsmen. I drew my sword and charged into the room. I could hear Alistair following behind me. Dagger barked and lunged at a darkspawn, bringing it down. I rushed to Alistair's aid as another darkspawn approached him from behind. I felt a spark as a lightning bolt whizzed past my head and struck a darkspawn leaping to attack me. I turned and nodded at the mage, who had followed us in. The darkspawn attacked slowly and without strategy, but they made up for that with their strength. It took more hard work than planning to bring them down, but finally we had the room cleared.

"We must hurry. Battling will slow us down," Alistair said as he rushed up the stairs to the next level.

The buzzing became stronger again and I saw Alistair cock his head. As I watched him, I turned my head in the same direction he was looking. The buzzing seemed to shift to that side of my head. _'Ah,'_ I thought, _'the buzzing is how we sense the darkspawn.'_ I paid more attention to the buzzing in my head as we entered the second floor.

I had always done well in group tournament battles. Ser Gilmore had painstakingly taught me how to observe my companions so I could match myself with their style therefore creating an efficient team. I used this training now to match Alistair, his two-handed weapon style would be a challenge to match, but I was determined.

We worked our way upward, level after level, battling small groups of darkspawn with every door we opened. By the time we got to the top floor, I felt that I was a much better partner for Alistair. We opened the door into the main room that held the pyre for the beacon. In front of us towered a two legged monster. It had huge horns rising from its head and when it growled we got a good view of the large sharp teeth in its mouth. It held an immense club in its substantial hand and whirled around to greet us on legs the size of tree trunks.

"An ogre!" Alistair gasped. "Maker help us. We have to fight an ogre!" He began to circle away from the front of the beast.

I counter circled to match his attack. The ogre lowered his head and charged Dagger who was nimble and dodged the attack quickly. This threw the ogre off balance and both Alistair and I leapt onto its back. It felt as though my sword strikes were just bouncing off its tough hide. Alistair, however, had penetrated with his sword and the ogre roared, stood up, and we were thrown off. Our mage friend was rapidly casting fire bolts and Dagger kept harassing the ogre's heels. The ogre turned to face Alistair and lowered its head for another charge. This time Alistair rolled out of the way and as the ogre lost balance again, I jumped on its back. Using all my strength, I drove my sword deep into the back of the beast's neck. It let out tremendous roar and reared up, knocking me off again. I rolled into a standing position just in time to see Alistair jump forward and drive his sword deep into the monster's chest. The ogre let out another blood curdling roar and fell backwards, finally dead.

Alistair removed his sword from the beast and looked at me, smiling. "Wow, now that was a battle."

I motioned to the ogre. "Um, my sword..." Alistair nodded. The mage came over and it took all three of us to roll the heavy beast far enough for Alistair to grab the hilt of my sword and pull it out. He admired the blade before he gave it back to me.

Alistair went to a window that overlooked the battlefield and assessed the situation. "I'm sure we missed the signal. We need to get that beacon lit," he said and grabbed a torch. He threw the torch at the pyre, which lit immediately.

I went to the window. The storm was now raging so hard you could just barely see arrows and magic in the air. I squinted trying to make out the fighting but there was too much going on to see any details. I looked toward the area where Loghain's men were supposed to come from and saw...nothing.

"What's going on?" I said and looked at Alistair.

He looked incredibly grim and just shook his head. I looked back down and realized that I could make out more darkspawn than I could troops. Suddenly, I was overcome by the buzzing I now associated with the darkspawn. It was the loudest I had sensed and seemed to fill my head. I could just barely hear Alistair as he cursed, "Andraste's blood!" The buzzing swelled, filling my head and I saw that Dagger was charging the stairs. I saw Alistair raise his sword, charging the stairs and before I could defend myself, I felt the wind knocked out of me by a blow from a thrown club. I tried to bring my sword up, but I was hit by arrows that penetrated my armor and I fell backwards groaning in pain. I heard terrible growling sounds getting closer as the room faded and I lost consciousness.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I began to be aware of sounds and smells around me. Something smelled like stew. This was confusing. Stew? I must have hit my head really hard. I tried to remember what had happened. Alistair and I were at the top of the tower and...

I opened my eyes and sat up fast, which was a mistake as the dark room swam in front of me. I closed my eyes until the swaying stopped and then reopened them. I was sitting on a small bed in a small room. The only other piece of furniture was a chair in the corner with my armor neatly piled on it. I stood slowly. I felt stiff and sore. I dressed slowly and opened a curtain that hung over the doorway. I looked out into another room that was furnished sparsely with a table and two chairs. A fireplace was set into one wall and there was a pot bubbling over it. Another room hidden by a curtain, a window and a wooden door completed the room.

A familiar voice said, "Finally awake then? Mother will be pleased." I looked to see Morrigan, the woman we had met in the wilds, standing in front of the fire. Her long black hair was pulled away from her face and she wore the same revealing robes that I remembered from our first meeting.

"Morrigan?" I said, confused. "What happened? How did I get here?"

"I see you remember me. Do you not remember the battle?" she said. "You were injured and mother rescued you."

"Your mother rescued me? But, there were a lot of darkspawn and..." I hesitated, trying to understand. "What happened? What about the army? The King? Alistair?" I asked as I moved into the room.

"The man who was to support you quit the field. Your army was overrun by darkspawn and the battle lost." she replied, all emotion gone from her face.

I looked at her, trying to make sense of what she said. Loghain left the king to..."What about the king?"

I asked again.

"Dead. Your friend isn't taking this very well. He alternates between denial and grief. He is out by the fire with mother. She wanted to speak with you when you awoke," she responded and pointed to the door.

"Alistair?" My head felt full of cobwebs- nothing was making sense. "Your mother wants to see me?" I felt foolish rattling off question, so I shook my head to clear it. "Thank you, Morrigan," I said and went to the door.

"It was mother's magic that saved you, not I," she said flatly.

I stepped outside and was greeted by a grateful bark as Dagger bounded up. I petted him, glad to see he was safe and then I walked over to the fire where Alistair and Morrigan's mother were standing.

"You're awake!" Alistair exclaimed. "Thank the maker! I was afraid you were going to die. I thought I was going to lose you," he said in a rush, then embarrassed by his rambling, asked quietly, "I mean, are you alright?"

I looked at him and smiled at his embarrassment. "Yes, thanks to Morrigan's mother, I just feel a little sore."

"Don't talk like I'm not here," she snapped.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. What may we call you?" I said apologetically.

"Names are just needless labels, but you may call me Flemeth," she said looking at me closely.

Flemeth. Wasn't that the name of the witch of the wilds in the old legends I read as a child? Perhaps Daveth had been right. The legend of Flemeth was ancient and this woman was old and frail, but it must be a coincidence. I looked at her and said. "Why did you save us? How did you save us?"

"Let's just say that my magic saved you, after all, we can't lose all the Grey Wardens at once," she replied. "It is the warden's job to unite the land and save it from the Blight."

"The land is hardly united now without a king. This doesn't make any sense!" Alistair said despairingly. "Why would Loghain leave the battle? Why would he leave his king and friend to die?"

"A very good question," Flemeth said. "Men's hearts hold shadows darker than any tainted creatures."

"Besides," Alistair said looking into the fire morosely, "how can you fight a Blight with just two Grey Wardens."

"There must be some in the Bannorn who don't support Loghain. Do you know if anyone still has troops?" I asked him, trying to lift his mood.

Alistair looked at me and thought a moment, "Arl Howe's and Arl Eamon's troops hadn't reached Ostagar before the battle."

"Arl Howe supports Loghain. We'll get no help from him," I snapped without meaning to.

Alistair looked at me, I could see he was surprised at my outburst. "Well, I know Arl Eamon. He is a good man and I'm sure he would help us," Alistair started pacing again.

I thought for a moment. "What about the scrolls? Didn't Duncan say that they were some sort of treaty arrangement?"

Alistair looked at me, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "The treaties! The scrolls are documents that allow the Grey Wardens to enlist aid. We can get the dwarves, elves and mages to help." He said, but then immediately frowned, "Duncan had me put the scrolls into my pack before we went to the tower. I thought he was just trying to make me feel better when he gave them to me for safe keeping. You don't think he suspected..." I saw the familiar look of loss in his eyes.

"I may be old, but dwarves, elves, mages and this Arl Eamon, sound like an army to me," Flemeth said interrupting my thoughts.

"Can we really do this?" Alistair asked, the spark of hope returning to his eyes. "Can we really go around Ferelden gathering armies? Can two Grey Wardens defeat the Blight and the archdemon?"

"We have to. Isn't that why we became Grey Wardens?" I said resolutely, trying to fan the flames of hope. "I know it won't be easy, but..."

"Well mother," Morrigan interrupted as she came out of the hut, "the stew is bubbling. Will we have two guests for dinner or none?"

"Our Grey Warden friends are leaving, " Flemeth replied, "and you are going with them."

"That's a shame...wait...what?" Morrigan said clearly confused.

"You have desired to leave the Wilds for a long time now child and they will have need of your magic." Flemeth stated.

"Have I no say in this?" Morrigan asked angrily.

"Thank you for all your help, but if Morrigan doesn't want to go..." I started to say.

"Mother says I will go, so I go," Morrigan said with resignation in her voice. "I can lead you out of the Wilds quickly and my magic will be of use to you."

Alistair raised his eyebrows at me obviously looking for my lead. Why was this my decision? "Alright," I hesitated, "we should go back to Ostagar and at least take care of the king and Duncan. I don't want to just leave them..." Tears welled up as I was reminded of my parents.

Flemeth said, "The darkspawn still control Ostagar. I didn't save your lives for you to throw them away."

I took a deep breath, looked at Flemeth and asked, "then where do you suggest we go first?"

"The nearest town is Lothering. You can get supplies and information there," Flemeth said,

"but, you must leave now to arrive in daylight."

"Thank you again, Flemeth," I said and bowed to her.

"No. Thank you. You are the Grey Wardens," she replied.

...

We headed out following Morrigan's lead. Every now and then I could sense darkspawn, but it was faint and felt far away. Alistair walked silently with his head hung down. I knew what he was feeling. I hadn't known Duncan long, but I had known Cailen since childhood. I thought about how much was lost already, and we hadn't even begun to fight the Blight. I wondered about Fergus. Was he still in the Wilds? Did he survive the battle? I prayed to the Maker that we would be reunited. I couldn't go looking for him. I had nowhere to start. I could only pray that our paths would cross and that he was safe.

We emerged finally from woodlands onto a well traveled road making walking much easier. I fell into my own thoughts. So much had happened, almost like living a lifetime in only a week. I looked up as we approached the small town of Lothering. There was a blockade set up across the road and several armed men blocked our way.

"Well, here's a fine group of refugees." one man said, stepping forward. "If you wish to pass, you must pay the toll - ten silver."

I looked at this group and knew without any doubt that they were simply bandits taking advantage of the people fleeing from darkspawn. "So is this a toll," I asked "or a holdup?"

"You are a shrewd one. Just give us your coin and no one gets hurt," he said. Another of the highwaymen stepped forward, brandishing his sword.

Dagger uttered a low growl and Morrigan said, "You don't want to threaten us. We are not simple refugees." Then she raised her hand and a small ball of fire appeared in it.

"Oh maker's breath, this one's a mage," the swordsman backed up.

"Wait!" the leader said. "We let this group pass and we'll never get any more silver. Let's end this now!" and he charged with sword raised.

I deflected his blow easily and hit him on the head with the hilt of my blade, knocking him down. Alistair disarmed the swordsman and Morrigan cast a spell that paralyzed the rest. The leader sat up, rubbed his head, looked at his companions and said, "Alright, alright I surrender. You are obviously too strong for us."

I shook my head at him and said, "I should turn you in."

He looked around, panic-stricken, and said, "The Templars are in charge here, they'll execute us."

"You should have thought about that before you attacked," I hesitated a moment, then said, "Fine. Get out of here." I couldn't see having simple bandits killed. I looked at my companions , Morrigan kept any comments to herself and Alistair shook his head. I watched the bandits retreat quickly into the woods.

Morrigan broke the silence, "You should go to the tavern. I will set up a camp in that clearing we just passed."

"You aren't going with us?" I asked surprised.

"I am not," she stated flatly.

I looked at the sky and saw that twilight was approaching. "There may be no rooms available anyway, with all the refugees about," I said, "Can you keep Dagger with you?"

She looked at the dog who stood wagging his tail at her, "if I must," she said and walked toward the clearing with Dagger bounding happily alongside.

I looked at Alistair who shrugged and we went into town, looking for the tavern. Lothering was situated where the main north-south road crossed the Imperial Highway, the main east-west road. The town had started out as a way station for weary travelers, but over the years it had grown gradually into a small thriving town. Currently there were more people here than the town could handle, due to the influx of refugees fleeing the darkspawn in the south. We walked through the streets, looking at the overcrowded buildings, eventually Alistair touched my arm and pointed. "I believe that is our destination."

The tavern sat on the far side of the street. We entered to find it packed with people and we had trouble finding a table. I was ravenous by the time we were seated and a server came over with our orders of stew and ale. I couldn't believe how hungry I was. Alistair ordered two more bowls of stew. I looked at him and said teasingly, "Hungry much?"

He smirked and said "One of those bowls is for you. If you haven't noticed you've got that one clean enough to put away."

I looked down guiltily at the piece of bread I was using to wipe gravy out of a clean bowl. I giggled and quickly covered my mouth. He gave me a lopsided grin and said, "Just a side effect of the taint. When you are hungry, everything edible is in danger."

"Are there any other side effects that I need to know about?" I asked him.

"Well besides the ravenous hunger, I'm sure you've noticed the buzzing in your head from being near anything with taint." I nodded and he continued, "I have gotten so I can tell where they are coming from and roughly how many there are. I'm able to tune you out pretty well so I don't get confused." I smiled at him. I had gotten used to the slight buzzing I felt around him. He looked soberly at me and said, "I don't know much. I've only been a warden for a few months and Duncan was busy recruiting so he didn't have time to tell me a whole lot. Most of what I learned was from the stories the other wardens told."

The server came at that moment with more food. I grinned at Alistair as we both dug in. When I finished the second bowl, I sipped on my ale and looked at him seriously for a moment.

"What?" he said, startled, "Something on my face?"

"No. I was just thinking. If you want to talk...you know... about Duncan..." I trailed off, hoping he wouldn't be angry at me for reminding him.

Alistair's face became somber and he said quietly, "I can't believe he's gone. He was more than a mentor to me. Even though it was only a few months, I felt closer to him than anyone else, and he treated me better than anyone ever did," he had a faraway look on his face. "Duncan said he was originally from Highever. After this is all over, I would like to go there and build something in his honor," he paused and looked at me. "Have you ever lost someone close to you?"

I hesitated a moment, "I have lost more than you can know," I said quietly looking down at the table. "My parents were murdered and my brother Fergus was at Ostagar. I had nothing but Duncan and now he's gone too." I took a deep breath willing the grief away, looked at him and said, "I would like to go with you to Highever, when you go."

As he looked up, I could see he was fighting tears as he said softly, "I would like that."

I looked down and took another swig of ale. We sat in silence for a short time, lost in our own thoughts. Finally, I said, "Let's decide where we are going to next."

"You decide. I don't care," he said forlornly.

"No, we are in this together, and we should make the decisions together. How can we unite Ferelden if we aren't united?" I didn't want to make all of the decisions, what if I was wrong? Alistair had been a Grey Warden longer, he should be in charge.

He looked at me, "You're right. I'm sorry, I'm being very selfish." He paused and looked at me, "So, where do we go next?"

I sighed and resigned myself to make this one decision. "My knowledge of Ferelden geography is fairly decent, but we should get a map in the morning." I paused and tried to picture Ferelden in my head. "If we head west on the Imperial Highway, we can start at the Circle of Magi. Then, south along Lake Calenhad to Redcliffe Castle to speak with Arl Eamon. I think there's a road that leads from Redcliffe through the Frostback Mountains to Orzammar and the dwarves. The elves are south-east in the Brecilian Forest, maybe we should go there first, since they are the closest."

He looked at me surprised. I obviously had more knowledge about the area than he thought I did. "That actually sounds pretty good. We should probably head back to camp and get an early start. It sounds like we have a lot of walking to do."

Standing, I dropped the last of my coins on the table and with Alistair behind me we walked out of tavern. As we retraced our steps out of town, we were ambushed by several armed men. "You there!" one of them yelled. "I know you. You're a Grey Warden!" the angry man pointed at Alistair.

I was surprised and Alistair said carefully, "Maybe, maybe not."

The man said, "Teyrn Loghain has put a bounty on the heads of any Grey Wardens for their treason at Ostagar. We mean to collect on that reward." The group of men brandished a variety of weapons.

"I'm sure there is a less violent way to solve this," a chantry woman approached. She was pretty with short red hair and I recognized her lilting Orlesian accent. She fingered the bow she was carrying, "surely, these two cannot be traitors?" and she looked at us with bright green eyes.

The man looked at his fellows, they all nodded and charged us. Alistair and I had no choice but to fight back. Our experience during the battle at the Tower of Ishal had created a team that was unstoppable. When I would block a sword strike with my shield, Alistair would cut the man down with his greatsword. The chantry woman was firing her bow rapidly and we finished the battle before it had barely began. I looked down at the bodies wondering who the men were. When I glanced at Alistair, the rage on his face was evident and echoed my thoughts. How could Loghain do this? How could he spread such lies? Alistair wiped his blade, stood up and without a word began walking away. I looked at the woman who was saying a prayer over the dead men. "I thank you for standing with us."

"Certainly." She looked at me and said, "You are a Grey Warden, no? I wish to accompany you on your quest to defeat the Blight. My name is Leliana."

I was startled at her request, "My name is Felicia. Maker knows we can use all the help we can get. We have a camp set up outside of town, you are welcome to join us there."

She smiled warmly at me and motioned for me to lead. Night was falling and as we approached the clearing, I could see Alistair's shadow in the glow of the campfire. He was sitting on a log, poking the fire with a stick. "I'll take first watch," he said curtly as we approached. I looked around, at the modest set up. Morrigan had put some blankets near the fire, but was not in sight. Dagger was laying nearby, and wagged his stumpy tail at me.

"This is Leliana. She will be joining us." I said ignoring Alistair's shortness."Leliana, this is Alistair and the furry one is Dagger. Morrigan, a mage is our other companion, but I don't see her right now."

Leliana smiled at Alistair who only nodded. He was still upset over the fight. Morrigan approached and said, "Oh, have we picked up a stray?"

"You must be Morrigan. A pleasure to meet you. I am Leliana," she smiled and held out her hand.

Morrigan looked at her offering as if she was being shown something disgusting and just nodded. "I will sleep over there," she pointed to an outcropping of trees a short way from the camp, turned and left without giving me a chance to comment.

I shrugged at her aloofness and sat down next to Alistair. "We heard rumors in the tavern that Loghain was taking charge in Denerim. Of course he's going to blame the wardens. I heard how he talked about us to King Cailen after my joining. We will need to be on the lookout for more bounty hunters."

Alistair sighed, "I never thought that anyone could betray their country like that. Then to blame us!" He looked at me, his grey eyes shining with resolution. "One day, we're going to have Loghain stand in front of us and explain himself."

I nodded in agreement and looked up at the clear night sky. Crickets were chirping, stars were twinkling merrily, and if things were different, I would have enjoyed the sounds of the evening and the beauty of the sky.

Leliana had pulled up a log on the other side of the fire and was organizing things in her pack. I looked over at her and asked, "Why would you want to fight darkspawn?"

"I had a vision." she stated simply and looked into my eyes, waiting expectantly for my response.

I had taken an immediate liking to this woman, so I smiled at her and said encouragingly, "What was this vision about?"

She sighed and relaxed her posture, "I do not know how to explain it. I had a dream, a vision. There was impenetrable darkness that was so dense and so real. There was also a noise, a terrible, ungodly sound. I stood on a peak and watched as this darkness devoured everything in sight...and when the blackness devoured the last of the sun's light, I fell and the darkness drew me in.

When I awoke, I went to the chantry gardens as I always do. But that day, the rosebush in the corner had flowered. Everyone knew that bush was dead. It was gray, twisted and gnarled - the ugliest thing you ever saw, but for a single beautiful rose. It was as though the Maker stretched out his hand to say even in the midst of darkness, there is hope and beauty - have faith."

She had been looking into the fire as she told us this story. Now she lifted her head and looked at me. There was grim resolve in her green eyes and she said, "I would do anything to stop the Blight. That is why I must join you. I know that together we can do it!"

I couldn't help but feel uplifted, her hope and determination was catching. I glanced at Alistair who was looking at Leliana with a mixture of hope and determination in his eyes. I stood and stretched, "I'll take second watch," I said. I got a blanket and settled down onto the hard ground. It would not be easy to sleep in my armor, but I had a feeling that I would have plenty of nights to get used to it.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: Thank you to all who are reading! You do not have to log in to leave a comment! _

* * *

><p>Chapter 6<p>

The sounds were awful, deep and guttural. The creatures were even worse, ugly, armored and waving all manner of weapons. The air was filled with blood thirsty roars and growls. It was dark, but even in this darkness the dragon stood out. A huge fierce beast with blood dripping from its fangs. It stood overlooking the mass of monsters beneath it and let out a tremendous roar.

I sat up, shaking from the nightmare. The camp was quiet and everyone but Alistair was asleep. He looked at me with compassion, "Bad dream?"

"Yeah," I said, trying to get the lingering sounds out of my head.

"You were thrashing about pretty good," he said watching me.

I got up and moved over next to him. "I saw a dragon and darkspawn." I looked at him. "Was that the archdemon?"

"I don't know if the archdemon is really a dragon, but that's how I see him in my dreams as well," he replied. "The wardens say the dreams are the archdemon communicating with the darkspawn and lucky us, we get to listen in. Some of the older wardens claimed they could make out what it said. It's all just growls and roars to me. The bad dreams are just another wonderful side effect of the taint."

"Oh great, as if I needed more fuel for bad dreams," I said sarcastically and looked around the camp. "Well, I'm up now, I might as well take my turn at watch, you should rest."

He nodded, grabbed a blanket and settled down to sleep.

...

In the morning, we cleaned up our campsite and ventured into Lothering to get a few supplies from a merchant that was set up close to the edge of town. We only had a small amount of coin and would not be able to buy much. On our way, we passed some large standing cages that comprised the town's makeshift jail. They were all empty except for one. That one held a very large intimidating man. His skin had a gold hue and his white hair was bound in large tight braids against his head. He wore a simple vest and trousers outfit that looked a size too small. There was no guessing his age. He didn't look old, but he didn't look young either. His gray eyes stared down at me. "If you are through gawking at me, you may leave," he said in a very deep menacing voice.

"I'm sorry, I was wondering, why are you caged?" I asked unable to contain my curiosity.

The giant didn't answer, but continued to watch me warily. Leliana said, "I heard that his name is Sten and he is charged with the murder of an innocent family."

"What happened, if I may ask?" I looked the giant over.

"The incident was a mistake. It is the will of the Qun, that I atone for my crime," he stated flatly.

I remembered my lessons with Aldous about the Qun. This must be a Qunari, warrior giants from a faraway land to the north across the Boeric Ocean. They had come southward and invaded lands north of the Free Marches but they were rarely seen south of Orlais. They follow a strange religious teaching called the Qun. Their deadly skill at combat was legendary and they were feared wherever they went. Perhaps we could enlist this giant to aid us against the Blight. I turned to Leliana, "Do you think the Reverend Mother would release him into our custody?"

"Why would you free me?" He asked, his eyes narrowing with suspicion.

"We are fighting the Blight and can use able bodied warriors, such as yourself," I had made up my mind. "Let's go see the Reverend Mother."

"If you are going on this fool's errand, I will attend to our supplies," Morrigan said with disgust.

"Alright," I sighed. Traveling with her was going to be challenging.

Alistair looked at me and asked, "Are you sure about this?"

I nodded, "we need all the help we can get," I responded as I turned away from the cage and began walking toward the Chantry with Alistair and Leliana behind me. When we entered the Chantry, I saw the Reverend Mother near the back, praying with some refugees. We approached but kept a respectful distance until she was done.

"Leliana. Have you not left yet?" she asked, then she noticed Alistair and I, "Who are your new friends?"

Leliana said, "Maker be with you, Reverend Mother. This is Felicia and Alistair." We both bowed.

I said, "We are Grey Wardens fighting the Blight. I would like the Qunari, Sten, to be released into my custody to aid us."

She looked at me alarmed. "Grey Wardens? Why do you want the Qunari? He is too dangerous to be released."

Leliana said, "Unusual times require unusual actions. Perhaps, with us, he may do some good."

"I will not release him. I will not be responsible for his murderous ways," she said resolutely.

"Reverend Mother, my vision led me to these Wardens and I trust the Maker to guide us. This may be the solution you prayed for," Leliana said.

The Reverend Mother stood, looked at the floor and began pacing. After a moment, she stopped and looked at us. "Were things not so desperate, or if Leliana not with you, my answer would be different." She handed me a key from her pocket. "This will unlock his cage. Maker forgive me."

"Your trust is not misplaced," Leliana said. "Maker be with you."

We bowed to the Reverend Mother, turned to leave and Alistair exclaimed, "Ser Donnell, is that you?"

"Who are...Alistair? Is that you?" An older man, dressed in full knight armor, approached us and grasped Alistair's shoulders. "It is you!" he exclaimed. "Are the rumors true? Have you become a Grey Warden? Were you there at Ostagar?"

Alistair nodded grimly. "Yes, and don't believe all the rumors. We did not betray the king," he looked at the knight and asked, "what brings you here?"

"Arl Eamon is gravely ill and Arlessa Isolde has all the knights looking for the Urn of Sacred Ashes to cure him," Donnell said sadly.

"What happened to the Arl?" Alistair asked, concerned.

"I don't know, some kind of poison in his system that doesn't respond to antidotes or healing spells. But I can find no clues to where that blasted urn could be," he said with frustration in his voice.

Alistair looked at me and I could see the question in his eyes. "We will head immediately to Redcliffe, " I said. "We should find out what's going on and see if we can help." Alistair nodded at me, grateful for our change of plans.

"I would go with you, but I'm meeting another knight here before heading back," Donnell said.

"Maker be with you, Ser Donnell," Alistair said, grasping the knight's hand.

We lefft the Chantry and walked back to the caged Qunari. As we approached Sten's cage, we could hear growling. There was Dagger, standing in front of the cage growling and wagging his tail at the same time. I was surprised when Sten growled back at Dagger, but the dog only wagged his tail harder and growled again. I shook my head watching these two exchange growls. Dagger noticed me and bounded to my side, obviously pleased with himself. I unlocked the cage and said, "The Reverend Mother released you into my custody."

"I must admit I did not think you would succeed," he said and looked at me closely. His soul piercing gaze was quite intimidating, but I didn't look away. "I will follow you against the Blight. In doing so, I shall find my atonement." He paused and looked at Dagger. "Is this your dog?" he asked.

"Yes. His name is Dagger," I said wondering what was next.

"He is a noble beast," he said approvingly, then he looked at me, "lead, I will follow."

Morrigan joined us and shook her head, "Another stray?" she said sarcastically.

"We need to build an army, remember?" I responded and she just shook her head.

We headed west on the Imperial Highway toward Lake Calenhad and Redcliffe. I kept alert to any other travelers, watching especially for any mercenaries who were bounty hunting, but with Sten walking behind us so stoically, anyone we passed gave us a wide berth. Morrigan seemed to delight in making comments that would get Alistair into an argument with her. Leliana seemed lost in her own thoughts and Dagger was having his own fun by chasing any squirrel or rabbit that dared to be in the open. The day passed slowly, and we were lucky to not encounter anything hostile. As it became dark, I chose the shelter of a copse of trees off the road to camp. Leliana sang softly as she worked helping me set up the fire. I was tired from being on alert, the arguing that Morrigan and Alistair had engaged in had given me a headache and I just wanted some quiet to myself. I found a peaceful stream off from the camp and decided I needed to wash up and clean my armor. As I rinsed my face in the cool water, Dagger splashed about happily, cooling his feet in the gently lapping stream. Morrigan had purchased an inexpensive shirt and trousers set so I could have something to wear when I cleaned my armor. I rolled up the pant legs and put my tired feet into the sparkling water of the stream. I let myself relax listening to the water babbling and the crickets chirping. I felt the soft breezes against my skin and was so lost in thought that I didn't hear Sten approach. I jumped when he crouched to the stream.

"I disturbed you. I will leave," and he stood to go.

"No. No." I said quickly, "It's alright, the water is wonderfully cool to wash in. Please, join me."

I watched as he crouched again to scoop water over his face. I handed him one of my towels to dry with. "Why is a Qunari in Ferelden?" I asked.

He looked at me and said curtly, "I was ordered by my Arishok to find out about the Blight."

"How did you end up in Lothering?" I asked.

"A battle with darkspawn did not end well," he stated and dried his face.

I could tell I was not going to get anything else out of him. He handed back my towel and walked away. My father had felt that both of his children needed to be prepared to handle the responsibilities of leadership, so my brother and I were trained in all aspects of diplomacy, but I was clueless how to pull this giant clam out of his shell. I stood up and went back to the fire to start cleaning my leather armor. As I sat down on a log next to Alistair, I noticed he was looking at me strangely, I smirked and said, "What? Something on my face?"

"Um...no...I just haven't seen you out of your armor," he said and a pink tint blossomed on his face as he looked away quickly.

"Oh, is that all." I said and proceeded to polish my boots, ignoring his sideways glances at me.

...

I wasn't sure how long it would take to get to Redcliffe village, so I had kept a pretty brisk pace. It was fairly easy travel, as there were not a lot of darkspawn in the area. However, it seemed as though the farther west from Lothering we got, the more we ran into small groups of bandits. They usually stayed away from us, Sten and Dagger were pretty good deterents. But, when I saw several bandits attacking a merchant cart, I couldn't just ignore it. I called to my comrades and we charged in to help the victims. The bandits had no chance against our group and were quickly disposed of.

"That was a timely arrival my friends," a dwarf said to us, his brown eyes twinkling. He had reddish hair and a full face braided beard. "The roads are mighty dangerous these days. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Bodahn Feddic and this here's my boy, Sandal. Say hello boy."

"Hello." Sandal was a younger dwarf and although he was not a child, he acted as one. He had sandy brown hair and no beard.

"My name is Felicia and I'm glad we could be of service," I said politely.

"You have quite a formidable group here. Would you mind if me and my boy tag along with you for awhile? You can store some of your luggage in our cart to make the walkin' a bit easier," he said.

I looked at our group then back at him, "Our situation is complicated, but you are certainly welcome to come. We are headed to Redcliffe village currently."

He smiled at me and said, "Somehow I imagine 'complicated' only says half of whatever you're into. But I would feel a whole lot safer traveling with you."

I laughed and we began organizing our packs onto Bodahn's cart.

Morrigan muttered something about "more strays" but added her pack to the cart as well.

We started walking again and Alistair positioned himself next to me. "You know...when I was in the chantry, there was this girl who was always bringing in lost or wounded animals. You kind of remind me of her."

"Oh?" I said, happy to see him acting more relaxed.

"Yeah. She was a lost cause," he smirked.

"Really?" I grinned. There are lot worse things than being a lost cause, I thought.

...

We were able to travel faster, now that our packs were loaded onto a cart. Before long we were on a road into the hills toward Redcliffe village. I noticed that the closer to Redcliffe, the more Alistair began acting all nervous and twitchy. I didn't sense any darkspawn, so I asked, curious, "What's the matter?"

He pulled me aside so that we could talk privately. "I, ah, need to tell you something before we go into Redcliffe village."

I looked at him. He was so nervous, he kept shifting his weight back and forth. "Let's see, how do I tell you this. Did I tell you how I know Arl Eamon?" he asked.

"No." I said, wondering where this was going.

"Well, he sort of raised me," he said nervously. "I'm a bastard," he blurted. "My mother was a serving girl at Redcliffe castle and died when I was born. Eamon took me in..." He paused and I looked at him encouragingly. "Arl Eamon did that because, well, um," he hesitated and then said in a rush, "my father was King Meric."

I stared at him in surprise and suddenly realized how much he looked like his half brother Cailen, except for the darker hair. I smiled at him and teased, "So, you're not only a bastard, but a royal bastard."

Alistair let out the breath he was holding, "Yeah, I guess you're right," he chuckled, "I should use that line myself." He paused and a concerned look came over his face. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, but the circumstances were never right, but I felt you should know. Now can we go back to me as just plain old Alistair and forget the whole royal thingy?" He looked at me hopefully.

I had my own lineage still in hiding and felt guilty, so I wasn't going to press for details, "Don't worry about a thing, Alistair. I understand totally." I said.

"Good," he sighed with relief, "Now, let's catch up with the others."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The road wound up and down the hills that surrounded Redcliffe. Tall trees stood against the blue sky and lush ferns filled in the forest floor. Breaks in the trees would give a glimpse of the sparkling waters of Lake Calenhad in the distance. A stone bridge leading into Redcliffe village crossed a deep ravine. In the middle of this bridge, there was a guard standing watch. As we got closer, he exclaimed, " I thought I saw travelers approaching. Thank the Maker. Thank you for coming to help."

Alistair and I shared a quick confused glance and I said, "I'm sorry, help you with what?"

The guard looked mournfully at our group, "You don't know?"

"We know the Arl is sick," Alistair replied.

"He could be dead for all we know. " The guard replied disconcertedly. "We've heard nothing from the castle for weeks and then a few nights ago monsters came out of the castle to attack the village."

Alistair looked at me worriedly. I said, "Can you take us to whomever is in charge? Perhaps we can help you."

The guard's face lit up with hope, "Bann Teagan is at the Chantry, I'll take you to him."

"Bann Teagan is here?" Alistair exclaimed.

"Yes, he came from Denerim when he heard of the Arl's sickness," the guard said. "Follow me."

The village of Redcliffe was a quaint little town set against the expanse of Lake Calenhad. The castle was built on a peak overlooking the village and lake. I had not been to Redcliffe in two years, but I remembered how beautiful it was. Now, as I looked around, I was filled with sadness. The evidence of battle was all around us. Many of the houses looked like they'd fall down in a stiff breeze. Acrid smoke filled the air from various fires. Barricades were set up at strategic points and village militia patrolled along the streets. The guard took us into one of the few strong buildings left standing.

Bann Teagan Guerrin stood at the back of the chantry. He had brown hair that was shoulder length, his beard was short and his brown eyes looked tired. He was dressed in a simple nobleman's outfit. He looked at the guard, surprised, "Tomas? Who do you bring?"

Alistair said rather nervously, "I don't know if you recognize me Bann Teagan. The last time I saw you, I was a lot younger and covered in mud."

Bann Teagan looked confused for only a moment, then exclaimed, "Alistair! Thank the Maker you're alive. I had heard you became a Grey Warden and I worried when we got the news from Ostagar." He paused and frowned, "Loghain would have us believe that the Grey Wardens were responsible for Cailen's death and Cailen risked the safety of our land for his own personal glory mongering." The frustration and anger in his voice was evident.

Alistair looked grim. "Loghain quit the field, leaving his king and the army to die."

"I never believed the Grey Wardens were traitors and I know my nephew; Cailen would not have risked his life or the lives of his men irresponsibly." Teagan said firmly, then looked at Alistair. "I know you are fighting darkspawn, but if you could spare some time..."

Alistair looked at me questioningly. I looked at Teagan and said, "Of course we'll help."

Teagan looked at me closely, "Are you a Grey Warden also? Have we met before? You look familiar."

I bowed and said, "My name is Felicia and I am a Grey Warden. I'm sorry, I don't believe we have met before." That wasn't a lie, I had never actually met him. I have been told that I resemble my mother, so I deflected his questioning look by asking, "What exactly is happening here, the guard said something about monsters?"

"I heard that my brother was gravely ill, so I returned from Denerim. The castle was shut up tight. There were no guards to be seen and no response to shouts. Then two nights ago, the attacks started. Evil twisted things emerged from the castle attacking and killing everyone in sight. We have no army to defend the village, so there have been many casualties. The women and children are here at the chantry which has remained relatively safe. All able bodied men have taken up arms to help defend the village, but we need help." He looked at me hopefully.

"There are no darkspawn here. Why waste our time?" Sten said.

I looked at him. "There may not be darkspawn, but these people need us." I looked at the rest of the group, then turned to Teagan. "How can we help?"

"Murdock is our mayor. He is organizing the civilian militia and can be found in the village square. Ser Perth is one of Eamon's knights and has organized the few knights who have returned from Isolde's quest over by the windmill. It is the best place to guard the road from the castle," he said, sounding relieved.

"You mean the quest for the urn?" Alistair asked.

"Yes, when Eamon took ill, Isolde decided to send all of the knights on a quest for Andraste's Ashes," he responded.

"But the ashes are a myth, a legend. Why would she send the best fighters out for that?" Alistair asked disturbed. I could tell by his tone how upset he was.

"Myth or reality, Isolde is convinced that the ashes are the only thing that will save Eamon." Teagan said and shook his head in sadness. "I suggest you talk to Murdock and Ser Perth to assess where you can best be of assistance."

I nodded and our group left the chantry. We found Murdock and spoke with him. The village militia was hit badly in the previous night's attack and morale was low. Murdock felt that when his men learned that there were Grey Wardens fighting along with them, morale would be boosted greatly. The pattern of attack that Murdock described led me to believe our best course of action was to situate ourselves with Ser Perth and the knights, so we headed towards the windmill. Our group split up - Leliana took Sten with her to search the village for anything useful. Morrigan went off to do whatever Morrigan does. Bodahn and Sandal stayed in the safety of the Chantry. Alistair and I headed toward the windmill with Dagger at my heels. We would all regroup before dusk to finalize our battle plans.

Ser Perth was standing surveying the castle across the bridge when we approached. Seeing the knight standing there made my heart ache for Ser Gilmore. I felt a tear wet my cheek and brushed it quickly away. I glanced at Alistair. He was looking at me curiously, but thankfully he didn't press. Ser Perth welcomed us and after a brief summary of the situation, Alistair asked, "Why would Lady Isolde send the best knights on a fruitless quest in the middle of a Blight?"

Ser Perth shook his head, "I don't know. She firmly believes that the Arl will die if we can't get those ashes."

"Do you think these attacks could be connected to his illness?" I asked.

Both men looked at me thoughtfully. Ser Perth said, "I have to admit. I did wonder that myself."

We fortified the barriers and kept ourselves busy preparing for the battle. Leliana and Sten had found some lamp oil that we decided to use as a trap. Sten had armed himself with an enormous hammer. The attacks came from the castle, over the bridge toward the mill. As nightfall approached, odd sounds began emanating from the direction of the castle. An eerie light began to cross the bridge. "They're coming!" someone shouted and the monsters came into view.

Watching them cross the bridge, I was taken aback at the attackers. They were all manner of undead. Walking corpses, skeletons with barely any flesh on their bones, and gory beings that should not have been moving let alone fighting. I rushed into battle slashing and hacking my way through this awful mess. They were mindless creatures, strong and relentless. As one would fall, another would take its place. Even if I severed an arm or leg, the hideous creature would keep coming at me. The only way to stop them was to decapitate them or set them on fire. The air became filled with the stench of these undead warriors and the sky bright with fire from the burning bodies. They seemed endless.

Finally, after hours of fighting, the attackers began thinning. As the last one fell, I looked at my companions and noted that they all seemed safe.

One of the villagers came running up the path. "Help!" he cried. "They're crossing the lake and attacking the village."

"Knights! Stay here and guard this bridge!" I yelled as my companions and I raced for the village.

Soon, we were battling another army of undead. It was a gruesome fight. I lost track of time as I hacked and slashed one after another of the hideous creatures. Severed body parts lay all around me. Arrows and magic filled the air. Finally, it seemed to be thinning and when the last one went down, a quiet came over the village. I heard a cheer shouted as our victory was realized.

Exhausted, I looked around for any signs of renewed attack. Seeing none, I made my way to the chantry. The others joined me and thank the Maker, except for a few cuts and bruises we had come through this without any major injuries.

Teagan and a couple of men had been standing guard just outside the doors of the building to protect the women and children. He came up to us and said, "We are victorious, thanks to you! Come inside, there are only a few hours until daybreak and you'll want to eat and rest."

...

A small celebration was held in the morning. Teagan proclaimed that he would not rest until he had gotten into the castle. The Reverend Mother said a prayer for the dead and the villagers began to clean up. Teagan turned to me and said, "I cannot thank you enough for all you did and I do not like having to ask for more, but, I could use your help to find out what is behind all of this."

"Certainly." I said. "We may have won this battle, but until we locate the source, I fear there will be more attacks." Alistair looked at me gratefully.

"I know of a secret entrance into the castle. Come with me to the mill," Teagan said.

As we reached the mill, a woman and a guard were running toward us. "Thank the Maker. Teagan, you're still alive," she said running up to Teagan,giving him a brief hug.

"Isolde!" Teagan exclaimed. "What's going on? How's Eamon?"

"Quickly, I need you to come to the castle with me," she said ignoring his questions. Suddenly, she realized how many people were around and she said vehemently, "You must come alone!"

"You know this is a trap." I said to Teagan.

Isolde glared at me for interrupting. I had met Arlessa Isolde Guerrin when I was here two years ago. She was a beautiful woman with green eyes and long blonde hair that she kept up in a bun. Arl Eamon was chastised for marrying an Orlaisan. The war with Orlais was still fresh in everyone's memory when he had first wed her, but he loved her dearly. She was, however, more into appearances and perceptions, to me, she had always seemed cold and aloof. Now, she dismissed my words quickly, "Teagan, I need you! Conner needs you!"

"Conner?" Teagan asked, "What's wrong with Conner?"

"He is afflicted and going mad. You are his uncle. Maybe he will listen to you," she said. "But, we must hurry back."

Alistair interrupted, "Lady Isolde, I don't know if you remember me but..."

She looked at him and said, "Alistair? Why are you...?" There was disgust in her voice. "I have no time for this." She dismissed him with disdain. Her voice took on a pleading tone, "Teagan, a mage visiting the castle let loose a demon and he will kill Conner if I do not get back soon. Please, I am begging you." Her desperation was apparent in both her voice and her body language.

Teagan sighed, "Let me confer with my friends in private, then I will come."

"I will wait on the bridge. Just, hurry!" she said and ran to the bridge with her guard.

"There is no good in this and you know it," I said worriedly.

Waving away my warning, he said, "My signet ring opens a secret passage in the mill." Teagan took off the ring and handed it to me. "I will do what I can, but the priority is the Arl. You must find him and get him out, everyone else is expendable."

"No." I shook my head. I was never going to abandon anyone again. "I will get you all out of this situation if I can." I said firmly.

He smiled at me and took my hand. "The Maker blessed me when he sent you to Redcliffe." He squeezed my hand as he let it go, then hurried to Isolde.

Once they were out of sight, I looked at my companions. They stood ready for my orders. I smiled encouragingly and said, "Well, shall we take on a demon?" and entered the mill.

I found the trap door easily enough and the ring fit perfectly in the opening. The door lifted open and we descended into a moldy, spider web filled tunnel that went underneath Lake Calenhad and up into the dungeon area of the castle. As soon as we entered the first room in the dungeon, we were assailed by undead. When the last one dropped, I heard a voice from one of the cells. "Hello? Is someone out there?"

We approached the cell to find a badly beaten mage. I said, "Are you the mage who summoned the demon?"

He looked confused, "I'm Jowan, Lady Isolde hired me to teach her son Connor. I promise you, I did not summon a demon."

"Connor has magic?" Alistair asked.

Jowan said, "Yes and Arlessa Isolde didn't want the Circle to take him, so she hired me to teach him to hide his talents. He has not learned any control yet and a demon has taken him over."

I looked at him suspiciously, "That's not why you're in the dungeon though, is it?"

"No." he hung his head. "I ...poisoned Arl Eamon."

"What!" shouted Alistair angrily. "Why would you?"

"Teyrn Loghain said that I could make up for my past by saving Ferelden from the Arl. He gave me the poison and I came to Redcliffe. Then Arlessa Isolde approached me. I am sorry the situation has gotten so out of control. Please let me help to right this," he said solemnly.

Leliana asked, "What past do you have to make up for?"

"I'm a blood mage," he said quietly.

"Oh that's just great," Alistair said. "Now we have to deal with a blood mage."

"Is that you talking," asked Morrigan, "or the Templar in you?"

Alistair glared at Morrigan. "My Templar training has nothing to do with this! Blood magic is just wrong!"

"Everyone deserves a chance to redeem themselves," Leliana said. "Even a blood mage."

Alistair looked at me. "I'm not happy with this situation, but these are not normal circumstances. I'll follow your lead."

I looked at Jowan, "If I let you out, you will accompany me and help correct this wrong."

Jowan hung his head. "I will do what I can," he said.

I unlocked the cell door and our group headed for the main hall. We fought off the few remaining undead that wandered the hallways and entered a great room. Isolde and Teagan were at the front of the room with a boy of about twelve years. He was angry and shouting at Teagan. "Be quiet Uncle! Have I not told you to be quiet?" Connor noticed us coming up to him and said, "Are these the ones that killed all my soldiers? Why have you come here?" His voice sounded older than a boy's voice and his eyes had an odd look to them.

I bowed and said, "I am Felicia. It is an honor to meet you Lord Connor."

He looked at me surprised and confused. A strange shadow seemed to pass in front of his eyes and in a normal kid's voice, he said, "Mother? What's happening?" Then the demon took over. I saw the shadow pass over his eyes again and change him. "You have spoiled my fun and I will not allow you to have the boy," and he ran off into the castle.

I looked at Isolde and Teagan trying to understand what was happening. Teagan had been sitting on the floor. He now stood up and shook his head. "I seem to be myself again, for now."

"The demon is getting stronger," Jowan said concerned.

"You! What are you doing here?" Isolde fumed.

"I let him out. We need all the help we can get." I reasoned with her. "What are our options?" I looked around at my companions.

"As much as I dislike it, killing the child may be our only recourse," Morrigan said.

"There has to be a way to drive out the demon without sacrificing a child!" Leliana gasped.

"If we had enough lyrium, a mage could enter the fade and get rid of the demon," Jowan suggested.

"If we don't..." Alistair said.

"Well, I could do blood magic. But it would take a life to get enough blood to do it," Jowan said.

"Blood magic should never be an option!" Alistair declared.

"If we can save Connor, I will sacrifice myself," Isolde vowed.

"No!" Teagan interjected. "Eamon wouldn't allow it, so I won't."

"How would we get more lyrium?" I asked.

Teagan hesitated a moment, "The Circle tower is a day away if you go straight across the lake."

"That sounds like the best option." I said. "We'll go to the Circle of Magi to get mages and lyrium and come back. Can you last for two or at the most three days?"

Jowan said, "I can try to keep Connor busy, so the demon doesn't know what's going on."

"We will do our best to hold out here," Teagan said, "but, please hurry my friends."

As we left the castle and headed for the village to get a boat, Alistair looked at me and said, "Do you think we can trust that blood mage?"

"I certainly hope so." I said and prayed that Jowan could keep the demon under control.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The Circle Tower could be reached from Redcliffe by hiking around Lake Calenhad or by boat across the water. We met at the mill to discuss our options and in order to make the trip as quickly as possible, we decided to split our group . Only Leliana, Alistair and I would go to the tower and everyone else would stay in Redcliffe. It was mid morning by the time we got to the boat dock and met up with the crew Teagan supplied to help us row. As we set out, a clear blue sky and a stiff breeze made our journey across the sparkling waters of Lake Calenhad easier. We took turns rowing as the pretty day turned into a clear night. We arrived at the tower in the darkness before dawn.

The Circle Tower was a tall stone structure built on an island in the middle of Lake Calenhad. The bright moonlight backlit the tower, creating an eerie shadow on the lake. We docked the boat and approached the main doors to the tower. As we entered the main hall, I saw Templar knights who had gathered in the middle of the room, but no sign of any mages. According to Alistair, the Templar Knights are the Chantry's military army, able to dispel or inhibit magic. They protect the Circle from outsiders, hunt fugitive mages and dispense justice on mages who use forbidden magic. Alistair had gone through most of the training, but had not taken the vows to become a full Templar when Duncan recruited him. The Templar Knights standing around the hall were clad in full armor and looked very formidable.

"Carroll. Make sure no one crosses from the docks," one of the Templars was saying. He spotted us and walked over. "The Tower is closed to guests, you will have to leave."

"We're not guests. We have come seeking the help of the mages," I said.

The Templar looked at me, "I am Knight-Commander Gregoir. The mages are in no shape to lend aid to anyone. Maleficarum and abominations have taken over the tower and the circle is destroyed."

I thought back to my childhood lessons. Mages are kept under such tight control because of their natural affinity to the fade. The fade is a metaphysical realm that is tapped into to cast spells. It also gives any spirit, whether good or evil the opportunity to take over the mage. When a child first shows any indication of magic, they are usually sent to the Circle of Magi for training so they can build up a defense. If someone doesn't go to the Circle they are called "apostate" and can be hunted by the Templars, if found out. Also, if a mage uses blood in their magic they are considered "blood mages" and are highly condemned. Maleficarum are blood mages who have been taken over by demons. Abominations are any other mage taken over by demons. Either way, the only defense against these magical evil beings is to kill the mage the demon inhabits.

"All of the mages are dead?" Alistair asked, surprised.

"Either dead or transformed. I have locked the tower and sent a message to the Chantry in Denerim. The Rite of Annulment must be performed here," he said.

I looked questioningly at Alistair. "The Rite of Annulment means they will kill everything in the tower, no exceptions," he said.

"Aren't mages strong enough to fight for themselves?" I asked, "Couldn't there still be survivors?"

"I'm not risking any of my Templars to find out." Gregoir stated flatly.

Leliana said, "We must try to help, even if there's only one mage left."

"But, if they've transformed..." Alistair said worriedly.

I looked at them, hesitating, I had not anticipated needing to fight here, but both Leliana and Alistair looked ready for anything. I said to Gregoir, "Let us into the tower and we will see if there is anyone to save."

"Once I let you in, I will bar the doors behind you. I will not unbar them unless I hear from the First Enchanter himself that he is safe," he said.

"Agreed." I said and with that we walked through the doors into the main structure of the tower . The iron bar clanged loudly as it slammed into place behind us.

"How do we always seem to be caught in the middle of things?" I wondered out loud as we proceeded. "Have either of you been here before? " I asked.

"I am sorry to say, no." Leliana said.

"My training as a Templar was all done in Denerim." Alistair said.

"We'll have to go room by room." I said. This was going to be time consuming and we didn't have time to waste. I headed down the hall to the first door I saw, and when I opened it, I was surprised to see several children and a few adult mages.

One of the mages approached us. She was elderly, with white hair pulled into a braided bun. Her blue eyes swept over us and she said, "Alistair? I am glad to see you survived Ostagar, but what are you doing here?"

"Hello Wynne," he said. "We came to ask for help from the mages, but it appears you need ours. This is Felicia and Leliana." We bowed to her.

"What happened?" I asked.

"We had a bit of a revolt. When the King fell , a retreat was called at Ostagar, although there weren't many of us left to actually retreat. When we got back here, one of our mages, Uldred ,tried to take over the tower using blood magic," she said. "I erected a barrier to protect the children and apprentices that have escaped into this room."

"We need to get to the First Enchanter," I said. "The Knight-Commander barred the door behind us and will not unbar it without hearing from him. He also mentioned the Rite of Annulment."

Wynne looked at me, concerned. "I can take you through the tower to where I last saw Irving. If we kill everything as we go, the children should be safe here."

I agreed. "Please, we need to find him as quickly as possible. "

Wynne nodded and walked to a shimmering door. Her hands glowed with a soft light as she chanted a spell and the door stopped shimmering. We followed her through the door into the hallway and made our way to the stairs. The day had dawned and the bright sunlight streamed through the many beautiful stained glass windows.

As we entered the second floor, we were immediately attacked. I felt an eerie sensation, as Wynne cast a protective spell over me and I charged toward the hideous creatures standing before us. It was hard to imagine that there was a human underneath the nightmare I fought. Using my shield to block the spells hurled at me, I maneuvered close enough to strike the creature with my sword. I swung hard and was able to decapitate the monster in front of me. I looked around and spotted Alistair. He was mumbling and I saw the fireball hurtling toward him dissipate. He brought his greatsword around in an arc and cleaved his creature in two. Leliana and Wynne were standing away from the creatures, Leliana was protecting Wynne, firing her arrows at anything that approached. Wynne was busy casting both protection and healing spells over us.

The last creature dropped and we hurried through the maze of hallways, rooms and stairs working our way toward the top floor. We encounter few survivors, but got the ones we did find on their feet and directed them to the safe room on the first floor.

We encountered many small groups of abominations, who immediately attacked us. It was hard work dodging fireballs, ice spears, or lightning bolts to get close enough to strike with my sword. I would roll and dodge to get closer, but then I would be fixed in place by a paralysis spell or knocked back by a blast of wind. I could feel tingling sensations when Wynne would renew a protective spell or sent a healing spell my way. Alistair's ability to dispel the magic was immensely helpful. Leliana was deadly accurate with her bow and creatures would fall from her deadly arrow strikes. Somehow, we were on the fourth floor and according to Wynne the First Enchanter would be on the next floor.

As we entered a large open room on the fourth floor, another monster appeared in front of us. It was a hideous, gooey mass of undulating rotting flesh attempting to look human.

The exhaustion I felt suddenly overwhelmed me, I wanted nothing more than to lie down and sleep. I heard Wynne say, "You must fight it, it is a demon trying to..."

I tried to raise my sword and shield but they were too heavy. I felt my legs go out from under me and as I fell to the floor, losing consciousness, I heard the demon say in a deep soothing voice, "My, you have come such a far way and with so much fighting. Wouldn't you like to rest and find some peace?"

...

I became aware of the sounds and smells around me, I could smell food and heard laughter and talking. I slowly opened my eyes to see that I was in a great hall, sitting at a large wooden table with my head resting on my hands. The table held a banquet of food and drink. There were several men at my table, dressed in armor, and they laughed as I raised my head to look around. "Looks like the new warden can't hold her liquor," one teased.

I brushed a hand up over my face, clearing the stray hairs that were hanging in my eyes. "Where am I?"

Another man elbowed his partner and they both started laughing. "Yeah, she celebrated a bit too hard after the archdemon was killed."

"The archdemon is dead?" I asked, confused. "The Blight is over?" I looked around at the gathering. "Where is Alistair?"

A man nearest me said laughing, "Oh, he's probably with Duncan at the front of the hall, but don't worry about him. Have some more food and drink."

"No, I need to find Alistair." I stood up unsteadily and I heard more laughing behind me as someone muttered, "Yeah, if she can walk that far without falling down." This comment produced another raucous round of laughter.

I walked hesitantly toward the front of the room. There was singing and laughing all around me, yet I felt uncomfortable. I saw Duncan at the front of the hall talking with another warrior. Somehow it seemed 'wrong' for him to be standing there so nonchalantly. Confused and worried, I hurried up to him and said, "Where are we? What happened?"

"Relax child," Duncan said, "We have come to Fort Weisshaupt to celebrate the end of the Blight. Don't you remember?"

"We won?" I asked, my confusion increasing, "No, I don't remember."

"Of course we won. There was never any doubt," he soothed. "Now, go join your friends in celebration."

"Where's Alistair?" I asked, feeling there were others I should ask about, but I couldn't quite remember their names at the moment. I didn't like feeling this out of sorts and I shook my head, trying to clear it.

"Alistair?" Duncan said, "Oh I don't know. You don't need him. Just relax and enjoy the celebration."

I became more suspicious as I looked at Duncan closely. "No, something's wrong." I said feeling more sure by the minute that this wasn't Duncan.

"Now child," the fake Duncan said, "just relax and have fun. Isn't this what you want? Don't you want peace? Isn't that what you crave?"

"Something isn't right." I stated flatly. "This isn't real. I don't believe it."

The fake Duncan looked at me sadly. "Why must you be so stubborn? You don't have to fight anymore. You can rest and be happy."

"No!" I shouted, "This isn't where I'm supposed to be!"

I realized that the walls had begun to shimmer as if they weren't there. "It would have been so much easier if you had just believed," fake Duncan said and he seemed to fade and transform before my eyes into a monster. This creature looked human, but with deep red skin. It had no hair on its head and its ears were longer than any elves' ears. Its eyes blazed with fire and it said, "Since you won't go quietly..." and it raised its hands, a fireball forming.

I grabbed my sword and shield from off my back. Thankfully, the magic resistance spell on my shield was still active and I was able to deflect the fireball. I dodged and rolled to get a better angle of attack on the monster as the room and all the people faded away. I rushed forward, thrust my sword into the beast and sliced with all my strength, effectively severing it in half.

The great hall I stood in dissolved until I was standing on a small hill overlooking a barren dark landscape. I looked around trying to understand where I was. I saw a figure a short distance away against an outcropping of rock. I headed toward it, not knowing what to expect. As I approached, the robed man looked up at me mournfully.

"So, you are trapped here too," he said. His despair was palpable.

"Where am I?" I asked.

"This is the Fade. The sloth demon trapped many of us here," he said quietly.

"Us? Are you a mage?" I asked.

"Yes, I was studying in the library, when the demon appeared. The next thing I knew I was here," he looked down at his feet. "There is no way out. I've tried."

"My friends must be here too. Where can I find them?" I looked around.

"That pedestal transports you to other spots of land similar to this one, but there is no way out," he said hopelessly.

I was getting annoyed with his attitude. I said, "There must be a way! Come, we'll work together, find my friends and get out of here."

"No. I am lost," he said, all the fight was gone from him.

I turned my back on this dismal man and went towards the pedestal. I could only hope it would take me to my friends.

...

I felt the land shimmering around me and when it stopped, I was in a room filled with books and tables. I saw Wynne at one end of the room talking with several young mages. "You need to practice every day and you will build up a resistance to the demands of the demons that appear to you in the Fade."

"Show us that spell again," one of the young mages asked eagerly.

As she formed the spell, her hands glowed, "This will dispel most attack spells before they even reach you, but like I said, you must practice." She watched the young mages concentrate on their spells. She suddenly became aware of me and looked up, "Hello warrior. Do you have need of me?"

"Wynne!" I said. "It's Felicia, the Grey Warden, remember? We must leave this place. It isn't real, we've been trapped in the Fade by a demon."

She hesitated only a moment, "No dear, that can't be true. I can't leave, these students need me. The better they learn to guard against demons the fewer will be lost to demons," she said sternly.

"Please Wynne," I begged. "Look at me, don't you know me?" I grabbed her arm to get her attention.

An elderly mage approached. "Now that's no way to treat our best instructor," he said.

"First Enchanter," Wynne said. "This poor woman is confused."

I looked at this First Enchanter and saw through the ruse immediately. "No, Wynne. This is not the First Enchanter. This is a demon. You are in the Fade. Don't you remember? We are climbing the tower to save the mages from the abominations."

She looked at me, confusion in her eyes, "Felicia? I remember..."

"Yes, that's right." I said, relieved. "Now, let's fight this demon and get out of here."

The fake First Enchanter looked at Wynne, "If you leave, there will be more deaths. Wynne, this is what you want - to train young mages and enable them to succeed."

"Yes," she said hesitantly, "I will not fail another student. " She turned and looked at me sorrowfully, "I'm sorry, young lady, I am needed here."

I took both of her hands. Somehow I knew that I couldn't free her unless she wanted to be free. "Wynne, look at me. We haven't known each other very long, but I think you can tell what is real and what isn't. Remember, you were the one who recognized the demon that put us here."

She hesitated, confusion in her eyes. "What?" she said, then as the confusion cleared, "Felicia, where are Alistair and Leliana? What are we doing here?"

"Why are you making things so difficult?" the demon roared as it transformed and the scenery shifted to a barren landscape. I was able to dodge its fireball and I felt energized by one of Wynne's spells. I worked my way closer to the demon. It cast a blast of wind at me that knocked me down, but I was able to roll and jump at it, bashing its head with my shield. I thrust my sword into its chest and as it died, I heard Wynne say, "Felicia?"

I looked over at her and she was shimmering. "Get out of that room!" I yelled, hoping she was waking up in reality. I approached a pedestal that had appeared and touched it. The landscape shimmered and changed in front of me again.

...

I looked around, trying to get my bearings. I was in a chantry. There were pews with people praying and at the front of the room was Leliana. She was kneeling before an elderly woman dressed in robes emblazoned with the sun emblem that signified the chantry. I walked up to them. "Leliana?" I asked.

The chantry woman said softly, "Please, do not bother her. She's praying."

"Leliana." I said more forcefully. "This is not real. This is the Fade. Please look at me."

She looked at me, her mouth still moving to the prayer she was saying and her eyes were unfocused. I put my hand on her and the chantry woman said firmly, "You must leave her alone. She has come to pray."

Leliana's eyes focused on me at that moment and she said,"Felicia? I must pray for guidance. I am trying to do what the Maker wants of me, but it is hard. The Reverend Mother is helping me to understand the Maker's will," and she looked up at the fake Reverend Mother.

"Leliana! That is not the Reverend Mother. Remember what we were doing!" I begged and tried to pull her up.

"NO! Leave her alone!" the fake Reverend Mother shouted.

Leliana looked at the fake Reverend Mother, confused. "Why do you yell? This is a good friend of mine. She means no harm."

The fake Reverend Mother softened her look and said, "I'm sorry Leliana, but isn't this what you want? To be at peace, where you can hear the Maker and do as He bids?"

Leliana looked at me, then back at the fake Reverend Mother, "Yes, but, I'm supposed to go with Felicia...to fight the Blight!" She stood up, shook her head and said, "Where are we?"

The demon screamed as it transformed, "No! You will not have this one!"

Leliana back peddled and grabbed her daggers. I had never seen her use them and was amazed at how quickly she got behind the monster to stab it. I charged quickly with my sword and the demon went down before it could attack. As Leliana faded, I shouted, "See you soon!" and ran to the pedestal. One more to go, I thought as the landscape shimmered.

...

It didn't take long for me to adjust to my newest surroundings. There was a quaint house with a pretty garden. In the yard I saw Alistair playing with a small boy, As I walked over I heard the boy say, "Uncle, please show me how to fight."

Alistair grinned, picked up a stick and held a mock battle with the boy. I heard a woman say, "Brother, don't you dare teach him that!" and she appeared from inside the house. She looked similar to Alistair with her long red gold hair braided down her back. She was garbed in a simple dress and was wiping her hands with a towel. I could tell immediately that this was a demon by her red eyes.

Alistair noticed me and said, "Look Goldanna, a guest has arrived."

"Alistair." I said. "Please recognize me. Remember, I'm Felicia and we're trying to rescue the mages. This isn't real, we are trapped in the Fade."

He looked at me, confusion clouding his face. "No. I'm pretty sure it's real. That's my sister and her son. I'm living here with them. We're a very happy family. You are welcome to visit. Though I do feel I should know you..." he said, tilting his head slightly.

"Look at me." I ordered. He did and I saw more confusion and a hint of recognition. "Please recognize me...we have demons to fight."

"But, Goldanna and her family need me!" he implored. There was such a look of longing in his eyes that it broke my heart.

"Leave him be," the fake Goldanna said. "He is taking good care of us."

Alistair smiled proudly at her but I put both hands on his face and turned it to me. "That is not your family! This is the Fade! Please Alistair!" Tears were in my eyes as I looked deeply into his.

"Felicia?" he said groggily.

"NO! You cannot have him!" the fake Goldanna shouted and the scenery began to shift.

"Are you with me, Alistair?" I asked, dropping my hands and grabbing my sword. "Ready to fight?"

"Yes, I think so..." he said hesitantly and looked around. When he saw the demon replace his sister, he roared angrily, then charged the demon as it began forming a spell and he cleaved it through with all his might before it could finish. He started to shimmer and said, "I am so sorry," as he disappeared.

I looked around at the barren landscape and walked up to the pedestal that appeared. Shouldn't I be awake now? I touched it, hoping to awaken.

...

As the barren landscape materialized around me, I heard a chorus of "Felicia!" behind me and turned to see my companions captive in cages.

"You should have accepted the peace I offered you. Now you will pay for your interference!" An ominous voice said. I looked around and saw the monster that put the spell on us in the first place. It sent a bolt of lightning my way but I rolled as it hit the ground where I had been standing.

I was thankful that the protection spell Wynne had cast on my shield still held, when I was able to deflect a fire bolt that would have surely ended my life. This was serious and I couldn't afford any mistakes. I dodged and ducked and maneuvered myself closer to the demon. I worked my way closer and swung my sword, disrupting the demon's spell as it formed. The demon swung an arm at me and although I blocked most of the force with my shield, I still went tumbling backwards. I regained my feet quickly and got my shield in front just in time to deflect another fire bolt. I looked over at my friends to see Leliana busily picking the lock on her cage. I maneuvered myself to keep the demon focused on me and not on my friends' attempts to free themselves. I rushed the demon, using my shield as a battering ram and knocked it down. The demon cast a spell that sent me backwards and got to its feet. As it was preparing to cast another spell, an arrow embedded itself into the demon's arm, and I heard Alistair roar as he charged the demon. I felt the tingling effects of a healing spell from Wynne and got to my feet. With the demon distracted by my friends, I rushed forward and swung my sword with all my strength. The demon's head fell from its shoulders and rolled to my feet. Immediately the scenery dissolved and I was back in the tower.

I struggled to my feet and saw that my friends were getting up as well. "Is everyone alright?" I asked. They all nodded. "Quickly, I don't know how much time we lost," I said and hurried to the stairs.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

We arrived at the top floor of the tower and entered a small alcove. There was a Templar held captive by a magical barrier and he watched us warily as we approached. "No matter what you do, I will not relent!" he said vehemently.

"We are here to help," I said and turned to Wynne. "Can you free him?"

"Don't bother with me," the Templar said, "if you are truly here to help, the senior mages are being held in the next room by Uldred."

"We will be back to free you," I promised him.

We went through the door into a large circular room. There were several mages standing in the center of the room with the senior mages kneeling around them, held in some sort of magical bondage. I could feel the power in the room both from the senior mages fighting to maintain control and from the blood mages trying to destroy the circle mages.

Uldred saw us and shouted, "The time for victory is at hand!" The blood mages surrounding him transformed before our eyes into hideous beasts of all shapes and sizes.

Alistair and I charged into action, while Leliana and Wynne worked to free the senior mages. I dodged magic that was flying everywhere. The smell of smoke from fire balls combined with lightning charges filled the air making it hard to breath. I could feel the effects of powerful magic as freed mages surrounded me with protection spells.

Coordinating with Alistair, I worked my way closer and closer to Uldred. One by one, the blood mages protecting him fell to our sword until finally, Uldred was the only one left. He screamed with rage, transforming into the demon that had taken hold of him and began unleashing spell after spell. Explosions surrounded us as spells were countered in mid-air by the senior mages. Finally, I was close enough to draw my blade across the back of the Maleficarum's knees dropping it to the ground. Alistair swung his great sword down upon the blood mage and decapitated him.

The room grew quiet as the last of the magic dissipated. I looked around at the chaos of overturned tables and broken furniture. The senior mages had gathered in one area and I saw Wynne speaking with one of them. As I approached she said, "Felicia. This is First Enchanter Irving."

I bowed and said, "First Enchanter, I know your mages are exhausted after this terrible ordeal, but I have a desperate request. Arl Eamon Guerrin's son has been taken over by a demon and we need lyrium and mages to enter the Fade to release him."

Irving sighed and looked at me, "Even with what you've seen here, you still want to try to save him?"

I nodded, "Especially after what has happened here."

Irving looked around and said, "Let's make our way to Gregoir and let him know the tower has been reclaimed. I will then see what I can do."

The Templar was waiting for us, freed from his prison when Uldred died. He joined us as we descended the tower and soon we were at the barred door to the main hall. Irving convinced Gregoir to open the door and a few hours later, we were on boats with several mages and enough lyrium to save Connor.

First Enchanter Irving readily agreed to uphold the treaty with the Wardens and aid us in fighting the Blight. He felt that the influx of demons was due to the archdemon's influence. I was relieved to have one treaty confirmed at last, but I was worried about the ritual to save Connor. I couldn't ask Wynne to enter the Fade. If that demon was anything like the demons we fought earlier...no, I couldn't ask her. I was exhausted and I knew casting spells was draining for the mage. I was going to have to trust Morrigan.

...

We arrived at Castle Redcliffe as evening fell and the mages began preparing for the ritual. I sought out Morrigan to talk to her.

"You need something of me?" she asked as I approached her campsite. Of course, she and Sten didn't actually stay in the castle. They had set up camp just outside the mill.

"Yes, I need to talk to you," I said as I scratched Dagger's head.

"Well, I am here, talk," she replied curtly.

"Morrigan, we need a mage to enter the Fade to kill the demon holding onto Connor," I said speaking a little too fast. "I don't want Connor killed. I want to save him."

I watched for her reaction. "Are you saving the boy for any reason other than sentimental?" she asked.

I was surprised at the question, "What do you mean?"

"You have gone out of your way to save this child. Isn't it better to slay one child and save the lives of many?" she asked.

I hesitated. What was my motive? I looked down at my feet and said quietly. "My family was betrayed and murdered. I saw my young nephew lying in a pool of his own blood." I looked up into her eyes and said resolutely, "I will not kill anyone, especially a child, unless there is no other choice."

She nodded. "I will do as you ask."

I smiled, relieved and said, "Thank you, Morrigan."

She hesitated, lifted an eyebrow and said, "You...you are welcome."

We walked over the bridge together and entered the room that was being prepared. Wynne protested, "I am not so old that I can't accomplish this task." She studied Morrigan and said to me, "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I have every confidence that Morrigan will do the right thing." I looked at Morrigan and thought I saw surprise in her dark eyes before they went back to their normal cold state. I watched for a few moments while Morrigan lay down and prepared to enter the Fade. There was nothing to do now but wait. I looked around and spotted Teagan talking to Alistair, so I joined them.

"I don't want this," Alistair was saying.

"Want what?" I asked.

"Oh, the whole 'prince' thingy," he muttered.

Teagan looked at me and said, "Loghain has taken over as Regent with his daughter as Queen. When I was leaving Denerim there was already unrest in the Bannorn and unless we produce a blood heir, there will be civil war. If I know my brother, he will want to put Alistair forth as the rightful heir to the throne."

"And...I...don't...want...it!" Alistair said, emphasizing each word.

I shrugged, "We can debate that after the Arl is awake. Right now I need food and rest." I looked at Alistair. "You do too. Come on, we can't do anything more here," and I tugged his arm.

"Alright," he said grumpily, "Follow me. I'll show you to the kitchen."

"I'll send someone for you when there is a change," Teagan said.

Alistair and I ate in silence. I was too tired to do much more than that. I thought about finding a quiet place to just close my eyes, but I knew I wouldn't sleep until I knew Morrigan had succeeded.

"So, you think it was a good idea sending Morrigan to rescue Connor?" Alistair asked interrupting my thoughts.

"Yes. Wynne is too tired from the tower and Morrigan is our greatest chance of success," I said.

"That just goes to show how bad the situation is - you know - when Morrigan is our greatest chance..." he jibed.

"I didn't ask to be leader," I said angrily. "If you think you can do a better job...you are the senior warden here. You should be leading." The look that came over him was so defeated that I instantly regretted saying it. "I'm sorry. I'm just tired. I think I'll go back to the study and wait there." I got up to leave.

"Felicia, wait," Alistair said and grabbed my hand. "I'm the one who's sorry. You've done a great job and I'm sure a much better one than I would have." He looked down and released my hand, his face flushing.

I looked at him and said, "You are a better person than you think you are," and left the kitchen. I walked back to the study thinking about how warm his hand was when he held mine. When I entered the room, Isolde was hugging Connor, the mages were cleaning up, looking tired, and Morrigan was sitting on the floor with Wynne casting a healing spell over her. I went up to them and said, "Thank you, Morrigan. Are you alright?"

"Yes. The Fade is quite an experience." She looked at me and her dark eyes reflected a softer light than usual. "Thank you for allowing me to do this," she said quietly.

"I'm glad you're okay. You should go rest, we'll be heading out in the morning," I said.

Wynne looked at me and said, "I would like to accompany you in your quest to defeat the Blight."

"You are most certainly welcome to come," I said. "Although, I must warn you, this is not going to be an easy journey."

She smiled at me, "I am well aware of the dangers you are going to face and I want to be there with you."

Impulsively, I gave her a quick hug, "Thank you. I need to figure out how we can save Arl Eamon." I looked around the room for Teagan. He was standing by the fire, watching Isolde and Connor. I approached him and asked quietly, "Is there any change in the Arl's condition?"

"There is no change, thankfully he has gotten no worse, but he will not get better and we can't wake him. The mages agree that there is no cure for this poison." Teagan turned to look as Alistair approached. "If Andraste's Ashes do exist, they might be our only hope."

"Where would we even begin to look for them?" I asked.

"Brother Genitivi, in Denerim's Market District, was the last known researcher of the ashes." Teagan said. "He was not at his house in Denerim, according to the knight sent there, but perhaps there is information at his house that we missed."

"Then at first light, we leave for Denerim," I said.

Teagan looked at me and said, "I will have servants prepare rooms and draw baths for you and your companions. You can at least sleep in comfort before heading out again."

I smiled gratefully. It would be a nice break to be clean and have a real bed to sleep in. We had been going nonstop for several days now. A servant showed me to my room, where I found a large steel tub full of steaming water. I undressed and slipped into the warm water of the bath. It felt wonderful. I felt the stresses and worries melt as I soaked. I used the soap and washcloth provided to scrub every inch of my skin. I was a little sad at the new scars that I now sported on my arms and legs, but I finally felt truly clean. As I emerged from the cooled water, I wrapped myself in a large soft towel that was waiting. I sat down at the dressing table and was shocked at my reflection in the mirror. I had dark circles under my bloodshot eyes. I had tanned a bit but I looked like I had aged. I brushed out my hair and braided it for sleeping. I dried off the rest of the way, dressed in a clean nightgown and small clothes that were laid out on the bed, and climbed between the sheet of the soft feather bed. I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

...

I awoke sweating and shaking. I couldn't remember the dream but at the rate my heart was beating, it must have been bad. I got up and looked out the window. The first pink tinges of dawn were in the sky and the sound of birds greeted me. I dressed in my armor and as my stomach began to rumble, I decided to eat. I found the kitchen again easily enough and when I entered, I had to suppress a giggle. There was Alistair with all sorts of breads and cheeses on the table. He jumped when I entered and knocked down the stool he had been sitting on. He threw me a lop-sided grin, picked up his stool and sat back down. He was wearing only trousers and I tried not to stare too hard at his well muscled chest.

"Bad dreams or hunger pangs?" he asked.

"Both," I said and sat down opposite him.

"Well, you have now discovered my deepest darkest secret, " he said conspiratorially. "I love cheese."

I smiled at him, "I promise not to tell anyone," and I crossed my heart.

He laughed and said, "Your turn. It's not fair, you know more about me than I do about you."

I got a plate and began cutting some cheese and bread. "Let's see..." I said trying to think of something safe to say. "Oh, I know," I said and leaned across the table to whisper, "I love a good apple pie."

"I will have to remember that," he said solemnly and looked deeply into my eyes.

My chest tightened a bit and I flushed under his intense gaze. I sat back, trying to regain my composure. "We're going to have to be careful in Denerim," I said, changing the subject.

"Oh you mean more careful than we've been," he said sarcastically, "like extra, extra careful."

"You know what I mean." I said laughing.

The kitchen door opened and Leliana walked in. She was dressed and ready to travel. She sat down next to me and smiled. "Early breakfast I see."

Alistair's face had turned a bright pink and he stood up. "I should go get ready," he said and hurried out. I watched him leave and turned to Leliana. We looked at each other and giggled. "He is quite good looking," she said.

"Leli!" I exclaimed, pretending to be shocked, then laughed harder.

...

The day was bright and sunny as we set out to Denerim. Bodahn decided that Denerim sounded like a good destination and came with us. I looked back at the castle and prayed to Andraste the we could accomplish this impossible task before the Arl lost his life.

There was also the added danger of actually going into Denerim. Loghain was there with all of his men. He had already put a bounty on our heads and I knew that the closer to Denerim we got, the more the danger increased. I had asked Leliana help me purchase a cloak in Redcliffe village before we left. Alistair could wear his helm and look like any knight, but a female warden would be hard to hide.

We needed to make good time, so we had to use the Imperial Highway and I kept a brisk pace. We saw many refugees walking westward as we walked east, but luckily, we made it through the day with no hostile encounters.

I pushed us to keep walking well into the night and by the time we set up camp in a small grove of trees off the main road, I was exhausted. Sten took first watch. He stood stoically off from the camp, a giant shadow in the night. Dagger laid at his feet. The two of them seemed to have bonded and it was a source of amusement to see this huge man petting the great war dog gently.

...

I woke with a start. The nightmare was awful and I was still shaking when I came out of my tent. The camp was quiet and the fire was low. I looked at Sten's shadow which seemed like a statue. I went over to him. "I'll take over watch. You go rest." He looked at me with his grey eyes and sat down. I shrugged and went back to the fire. I sat on a nearby log and added a few more sticks and branches to the fire to help myself warm up. Dagger had followed me and lay down at my feet. If I closed my eyes, I could almost picture Fergus and my Father talking quietly on the other side of the camp about hunting a deer or pheasant the next day. I choked as I held back a sob at that thought. My world had changed in such a short period of time. I shook myself out of that line of thinking and spent the remainder of the night distracting myself by trying to remember the constellation names.

...

As dawn broke, the camp woke up around me. We packed up and soon we were on the road again, walking at a brisk pace eastward toward Denerim. By late afternoon, we had reached Lothering. I was shocked as I looked at the town that only days ago had been so alive with people. Smoke rose from burnt out buildings. Debris and dead bodies were everywhere. The village had been destroyed. I could see no movement in the area at all.

Our group split up to see if there was anything to salvage or anyone to save.

The spot where the tavern had stood was a burnt shell. I made my way through the rubble to where the Chantry had stood. It too was leveled to the ground. I saw Leliana staring at the wreckage. Tears ran down her cheeks. I approached her cautiously. "Are you okay?" I asked.

She sighed. "I will be. Right now I'm going to pray for all the poor souls lost here."

I nodded and stood with her, my head bowed.

When she finished, she looked at me, her green eyes misty, "I thank you." she said.

I was startled. "For what?"

"For allowing me to accompany you. For believing in my vision," she hesitated. "For being a friend."

I smiled softly. "Of course we're friends. You don't have to thank me for that. We will defeat the Blight and stop all these needless deaths." I vowed.

We set up camp on the far side of town. The mood around camp was somber as we all were lost in our own thoughts. Sten stood off to one side of the camp looking over the ruined town. I approached him and said, "This is what a Blight is. Total devastation."

He looked at me and said, "I have never seen anything to compare to this. The Blight is not an honorable opponent."

I looked into his eyes and said, "The Blight was never about honor. The darkspawn are cruel, heartless beings and will not stop until they have destroyed everything or we kill the archdemon."

"Then, why are we wasting time. We should be going after this enemy, not on a fool's errand," he said sternly.

"We can't defeat them without an army and we can't get an army without Arl Eamon's help. If he dies..." I couldn't finish my sentence.

Sten regarded me curiously for a moment. "I do not understand, but I will stand by you."

"Thank you, Sten," I said and went to my tent.

...

I leapt to my feet with the dragon's roar in my ears. I struggled into my armor, my hands shaking and my heart racing. The day was dawning and Alistair was sitting at the fire. He turned as I rushed out of my tent and said, "Is something wrong?"

I looked around at the peaceful camp. "No. I guess not. We should get everyone up and moving."

Soon we were on the road to Denerim again. I was lost in my thoughts as we walked. Without warning we were jumped by bandits. An elf with dual blades came at me and I was just barely able to dodge his attack. There were a lot of attackers, but this one elf seemed focused on me in particular. I had fought a twin blade wielder several times, but this man was much better than anyone I had ever fought before. He almost looked like he was dancing with his blades. I had become good at fighting almost anything and soon we were at a stalemate. I was unable to get close enough to knock him down and he was unable to get around my shield defense. As we circled, I saw an opening and leapt for it. I threw all my weight into a shield attack and knocked him down and out. I realized at that point that either the rest of the enemies were dead or had retreated. Alistair was behind me and said, "So, are you going to kill him or shall I?"

"No," I said. "Sten, please hold him."

Alistair looked shocked, "What? He was trying to kill you!"

"I want answers," I said and looked at the elf who was shaking his head as he woke up. "Who are you?" I said fiercely.

"I thought I would wake up dead or not at all as the case may be," the elf said in a thick Antivan accent. "You have bested me and I have failed my mission. There is no need to interrogate me, I will answer all of your questions." He looked at me with amber eyes that were partly covered by strands of long blond hair that had come unbound from the braids that held it. "I am Zevran Arainai. Zev to my friends. I was hired by Teyrn Logain Mac Tir to kill the Grey Wardens on the road to Denerim."

"Why?" Alistair growled.

"I am an assassin. I do not ask why. I only ask how much I will be paid," he said calmly.

Alistair looked at me. He was clearly ready to end this man's life. I asked, "Who do you owe your allegiance to?"

He looked at me. "I am an Antivan Crow. I owe my allegiance only to the largest purse. Since I have failed, the Crows will now be hunting for me, so whether you kill me now or no, I am dead."

Antiva was a city north of Orlais. The Antivan Crows were a renowned group of mercenaries who excelled at getting the job done, if the price was right. I paused, thinking. "You aren't considering, what I think you're considering?" Alistair moaned.

"He is very good with his blades." I looked into Zevran's amber eyes and said, "If I free you, will you join us in a quest to defeat the Archdemon?"

He looked startled at that, but regained his composure quickly. "Let's see now. Die at the hands of the Antivan Crows or die as a hero killing an archdemon. My lady, my choice is clear, I will come with you," he said, smiling broadly.

This was one of those men my mother had warned me about, the kind that could charm their way into or out of most any situation. I prayed I wasn't asking for trouble. I looked at Sten and nodded. Sten released his grip and Zevran took a step away from the giant, rubbing his arms.

Zevran bowed to me, "My lady, my blades and I are at your disposal."

As he picked up his blades, I saw Alistair tense up. I put my hand on his sword arm to calm him as Zevran sheathed the weapons. I felt Alistair relax his grip on his sword and heard him mutter, "I knew you were going to do that."

I smiled to myself and we got underway again with our new addition.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Camp that night was tense to say the least. As we sat around the fire eating soup that Wynne had concocted from our meager stores, both Alistair and Sten watched Zevran like hawks watch rabbits. Zevran seemed to be oblivious to their apprehension. Dagger lay calmly at my feet, accepting our new addition willingly. Morrigan had disappeared into the woods as usual.

"How did you know we were Grey Wardens?" I asked Zevran.

"I only recognized you. The Teyrn wasn't sure how many Wardens had escaped Ostagar, but a rumor that there were survivors had been circulating. He was, how should I say, 'discussing', this rumor with a soldier when I arrived to accept the assignment. All this soldier could confirm was that one of the Wardens was a woman." Zevran paused. "The Teyrn described you to me, very accurately, I might add."

Alistair interrupted, "How did Loghain know we were headed to Denerim?"

"He didn't," Zevran replied, "another man with him, Howe, I believe his name was, believed that my Lady here was on a mission to murder him. He was sure that an ambush on the Imperial Highway would be best."

I started at this, but quickly subdued my anger. Alistair looked at me, I shrugged and said quickly, "We'll need to come up with a better way into Denerim." I paused, thinking. "We are less than a day away from the city, perhaps if only Alistair and I accompany Bodahn and Sandal into town, we would be less conspicuous?"

"A smaller group would be less of a target," Zevran agreed.

Leliana looked concerned, "Are you sure you don't need our help?"

I smiled at her, "We are only going to sneak in, search Brother Genitivi's house and hurry back here. If we're lucky, we'll be heading away from Denerim in a day."

Wynne interrupted, "Our supplies are getting rather low, perhaps Leliana and I could head into town as well to restock?"

"That sounds reasonable," I said, "you two could very easily pass as refugees."

"I will also sneak into town," Zevran said, "and see what information I can gather for you, my Lady."

Alistair glared at Zevran, "Yes, you'll run right to Loghain to tell him where we are!"

"Why would I announce my failure?" Zevran said, amused. "I have sworn my blades to my Lady's service and I stand by that vow."

"I trust him, Alistair." I said, calmly, then to Zevran, "It would help a great deal to know what Loghain is up to. Thank you, Zevran, just be careful."

"Certainly, my Lady." Zevran said, smiling broadly.

Sten stood, "I will take watch," and walked away from the fire. Dagger got up, looked at me and when I nodded, he trotted over to sit with Sten.

...

As I thrashed into awakening, I groaned a little at the fleeting bit of memory from the latest nightmare. I got up and went out to the fire. I was surprised at first to see Alistair awake, but then I realized he probably couldn't sleep worrying about our assassin. As I sat next to him, he looked at me and asked, "Rough one?"

"Yes. Are these dreams going to get any better?" I asked worriedly.

"I had heard that the nightmares are worse for someone joining during a Blight, but some of the wardens said they had learned to block theirs. Me, well, I've found that a good ale or wine before bed can help," and he handed me a bottle.

"Where did you get this?" I said as I took a swallow. The wine was a smooth red, with a hint of berries. It tasted wonderful.

"Oh. I sort of raided Redcliffe Castle's winery before we left," he smiled that lopsided grin that I had grown quite fond of.

"Why are you still up? You aren't still worried about Zevran, are you?" I said passing the bottle back.

"Just a little. He seems okay, for an assassin that tried to kill you," he glanced at me and I just smirked at him. "You have an uncanny ability to create loyalty." He hesitated, "I have nightmares too, you know," he said quietly, then a little louder, "about some idiot deciding to make me king."

I laughed. "We have a long way to go before that happens," and took a drink from the bottle when he offered.

We sat companionably for a while passing the wine back and forth. I started nodding, the wine was making me drowsy, and Alistair said, "Go on back to bed, fearless leader, I can watch the camp."

I nodded and wearily entered my tent.

...

It was twilight when Alistair and I reached Denerim, Ferelden's largest city and capital. The city itself is divided by walls into several districts with the Drakon River flowing through the center. Fort Drakon, the city prison, towers over the other buildings. The Palace District houses the Palace and many large estates owned by various nobles. My family had a home in that district. I cringed when I thought what Howe would have done to our beautiful city home. The Alienage was home to the city elves. I didn't approve of the way the elves were treated. Many were sold into slavery, or worse. My family never treated elves any differently than the other servants we employed, but our views were rare.

The Commons housed the working class of the city. Lastly, the Market District, where you could find rare goods from all over, fine clothing shops, eateries of all sorts and commerce of every kind. I had been to Denerim many times., My parents made yearly trips into the city and I often accompanied them. My father was well known and loved by many, so my parents were busy with numerous invitations to visit various nobles throughout the city thus I knew my way around pretty well.

I hugged Bodahn, "Maker watch over you."

Bodahn smiled, " It has been an honor to travel with you. May the Stone guide your way."

Alistair shook Bodahn's hand as I hugged Sandal. "Enchantment!" Sandal said with a huge grin on his face.

I laughed as we parted ways. We walked through the main gates and into the city. Although it was twilight, there was still a bustle of activity in the streets as last minute business was transacted.

Alistair stopped me and nervously said, "Felicia, I need to ask a favor."

"Sure. What is it?" I asked.

"My half-sister Goldanna lives here. I had gotten curious about her a couple years back and looked her up. I actually went up to the door of the house she lived in, but I couldn't bring myself to knock," he admitted sheepishly. "I think...with you, I might be brave enough."

"Goldanna?" I asked, remembering the Fade. "Do you remember which house?"

"Yes, I think so," he said hesitantly. "I remember it was near a smithy."

There was a smithy at the end of the street we were on. "Do any of the houses look familiar?" I asked.

Alistair looked nervously at the doors and pointed to one. "That one! I'm sure it's the right one. Could we go and see?"

I smiled at him, "Wouldn't you rather go in by yourself?"

"No, I'm pretty sure I don't want to do that. Do I seem nervous...because I am...nervous that is. I don't know what to expect. Do you think she wants to meet me? What do you think she's like? I'd like you to go in with me or...we could just leave?" he babbled, getting more nervous by the minute.

"You big coward," I teased, trying to get him to relax.

"I am not!" he protested. "Oh, alright, I guess I am...about this anyway. I just... What do you say, let's just go."

I laughed and tugged his arm. "Come on. Let's go meet this sister of yours," and I knocked on the door.

The woman who answered was about my height, had long stringy brown hair and looked completely worn out. She wore a simple peasant dress over an extremely skinny body. She looked at us with distrust and anger in her brown eyes. "If you want linens warshed, you come back in the mornin'. I ain't takin' in no more work t'day."

"Ah, hello." Alistair said nervously, "I'm not looking to have any wash done. Are you Goldanna? If you are then I guess I'm your brother, Alistair," he looked at her expectantly.

"Yea, I'm Goldanna. How'd you know? Whatcha mean brother? I ain't got no brother," she said harshly. "And if you got no work for me, then shove off."

I was getting a bad feeling about this and watched Alistair worriedly.

"Can we talk about this inside?" he asked, looking around.

She looked at us suspiciously, but let us in. "Your, I mean our, mother was a servant at Redcliffe Castle, right?" he said raising an eyebrow and frowning.

"Yeah, they done tole me that the babe died wit my mum. Gave me a coin and shushed me away," she said.

"Well, the baby didn't die. That would be me," he said worriedly. I could see he was getting upset.

"A fat lot of good that does me. Look at me. You killed my mum and I've had to scrape by," she said angrily.

"That isn't his fault!" I interjected. I couldn't keep quiet while this woman broke Alistair's heart.

"And who are you?" she shrieked, "Some tart hangin' onta him for his gold?"

"Hey!" Alistair said angrily, "Don't speak to her that way, she's my friend."

"Look, I don't know you. Your royal father forced himself on my mum and took her away from me. What do I got to show for it-nothin'. I got five mouths to feed and unless you can help with that I gots less than no use for you," she ranted.

"You've got some nerve talking to your brother that way." I was furious now. "He didn't do anything to you, except hope for a family."

She looked at me with fierce hatred. "Look, I don't want no brother, unless he can make hisself useful around here. If not, he ain't welcome."

Without thinking, I had drawn my blade, "Someone ought to cut that wicked tongue out of your mouth."

Alistair stopped me with his arm and said dejectedly, "No. Don't do anything. Let's just get out of here."

I was still seething when we got back onto the street. One look at Alistair was all it took to turn my anger into feelings of anguish for this poor man. "Alistair, I am so sorry this didn't turn out better."

He looked up with tears in his eyes, "All she could think about was whether I had money or power and could help her. This is the family I've been wondering about all my life. I can't believe that shrew is my sister." He took a deep breath. "I don't know what I expected. Maybe, that she would accept me without question, isn't that what family does? " He took another deep breath. "I feel like a complete idiot. Why would I expect anyone to care about me?"

I stood in front of him and held his hands. "Don't you dare say that! There are others who care for you."

"Who? Duncan? He's dead," he sounded so defeated.

"I care." I said softly.

He looked at me and we just stood there for a moment holding hands. "Thank you for sticking up for me," he said. Then he seemed to become aware of the surroundings and dropped my hands. "Let's move on and forget we ever stopped here," he said somberly.

...

We finally arrived at the address for Brother Genitivi's house. The door was unlocked, which wasn't a good sign. I drew my blade and entered carefully, Alistair right behind me. The place was a mess. Papers and books were strewn everywhere. Furniture was upended and in the corner was the body of a man. I sheathed my blade and went closer. This wasn't Brother Genitivi, the description of Genitivi was of an elderly scholar. This dead soul was a young man. Alistair and I searched the few rooms of the house. The only thing we could find was a map of Ferelden with an area circled and labeled 'Haven'. I took the map , but there was nothing with any information about the ashes. We left, closing the door behind us.

We walked straight back to our camp and arrived during the morning hours. Sten was in his usual guard position with Dagger at his feet and nodded to us when we approached. Dagger stood and wagged his stump of a tail at us then lay back down.

No one else was evident in camp and we were both exhausted, so we entered our respective tents and I promptly fell asleep.

...

I woke with a start, the sun shining brightly into my tent. I got up, exited my tent and looked around. It was late in the afternoon and the camp was quiet. Sten was still standing where I left him, guarding the camp with Dagger at his feet. Morrigan was sitting at the fire stirring something in a small pot.

I sat down next to her and she ladled some soup into a bowl, handing it to me. "Thank you." I said and began eating. "The others aren't back yet?" I asked.

"No," she said. "You take great risks trusting strangers. I cannot decide if you are foolish or reckless."

I smiled, "I like to believe there is some good in everyone."

Alistair exited his tent, "Do I smell something cooking?" He came over to sit by me and helped himself to some soup.

Morrigan stood, "I am going into the forest to look for herbs."

I watched her leave and finished my soup. I retrieved Genitivi's map from my pouch and began to study it. Alistair looked over my shoulder and said, "So, we get to tromp down the Imperial Road again toward Redcliffe."

"I was actually thinking that we should sidetrack to the Brecilian Forest and talk to the Dalish," I said.

"That's not a bad idea." Alistair mused. Then he looked at me very seriously. "Did you mean what you said at Goldanna's house? That you care?" he said quietly.

"Yes. I know we haven't known each other for very long but you're all I've got." I said, looking into his eyes.

Alistair took my hand in his and he said, "Of all the Wardens that could have survived, I'm glad it was you."

I smiled and we sat there just holding hands. It was quite nice. He was so different from any others that would come to court me. Since my family's status was ranked so high, I had a lot of suitors, men who wanted their sons to marry themselves into an elevated position. There were so many that I began to make sure I was in my armor practicing with one of the guards whenever I knew there was an eligible bachelor coming. It usually scared most of them off.

"Well, well." I heard Zevran say as he, Leliana and Wynne approached the camp. "You leave the kids alone and look what happens," he laughed and Leliana joined in.

Alistair dropped my hand like a hot potato and turned a very interesting shade of red. I tinged up a bit too but joined their laughter. "Have fun shopping?" I asked.

Wynne nodded, "Our supplies should be sufficient, unless a certain Warden stuffs himself," she looked at Alistair pointedly.

"Why are you looking at me? I'm not the only Warden here," he groused.

Leliana smiled at me, "Yes, it was fun going into the shops to see all the new things that are out. How was your expedition?"

"Disappointing." I said. "We only found a map with the town of Haven circled. How was your information gathering, Zevran?"

"There is a lot of information being passed around, but I do not believe it will be of much help. A lot of talk is about the Grey Wardens killing the King," he replied.

Alistair interrupted, "That's a lie!"

"Lie or no, it appears to be the most popular rumor around. Loghain has offered a nice purse of coins to whomever brings him information regarding any surviving Wardens," he said.

"Are you tempted to turn us in?" Alistair asked warily.

"My dear friend, now why would I do that?" Zevran asked Alistair innocently.

"Isn't money your only true loyalty?" Alistair responded.

Zevran sighed, "Yes, coins are nice to have, however, you do not need them to have fun. I would never get rich working for the Crows, their cut is too deep. For now, I am quite content to serve my Lady, until she no longer needs my blades." Zevran turned and bowed to me before helping himself to the soup on the fire.

Alistair shook his head disbelieving.

...

When I awoke in the middle of the night, I noticed Bodahn's merchant cart was parked near our camp but decided to wait until morning to satisfy my curiosity. I approached Sten and said, "We have to go to a small village named Haven to look for the ashes and along the way we are going to visit the Dalish Elves to enlist their aid in fighting the Blight." Sten nodded. "I'll take watch now." I sighed.

"I heard stories of Grey Wardens, but you do not seem to be a Grey Warden," he said, surprising me.

"Oh, how?" I asked.

"You are a woman. Women are not fighters. Therefore women are not Grey Wardens," he stated.

"But, I am a woman," I said trying to understand his logic. "I do fight and I am a warden."

"We have not fought any darkspawn to show you as a warden," he pointed out.

"Don't worry Sten," I said reassuring him, "You will get to fight plenty of darkspawn."

He just looked at me, then sat down. I went back to the fire. I passed the rest of my watch examining the map I had obtained. As morning dawned and my companions were packing, I walked over to Bodahn. "Good morning." I said. "Where are you off to?"

Bodahn smiled broadly. "Morning. We're off to wherever you're going. Sandal has insisted that we stay with the 'pretty lady'."

Sandal piped up. "We stay with pretty lady!"

I grinned and said, "You are welcome to come with us, if you wish. Our plans are to head to the Brecilian Forest to find the Dalish camp and then go to the town of Haven."

Bodahn looked at me curiously. "The elves will be interesting to trade with, but why Haven? There is nothing there but a small village."

"That is where the path to Andraste's ashes leads us. You can go your own way whenever you wish." I said.

"I know," Bodahn said quietly, "I feel the stone has put us on this path with you for a reason. You are fighting against the Blight and although my boy and I don't fight, we can at least help by keeping you armored and armed. I believe we will follow you until the end. Now let's be on our way."

I smiled and nodded at them, it was nice having a cart to store our camping gear. We began our trek to find the elves. I was a bit nervous about this. The Dalish were a clan of Nomadic elves who hated humans. I knew roughly where there campsite was, but the only elves I had dealt with were our friends or servants. Of course, Zevran was an elf, but he wasn't like anyone I had ever known. I matched my walking pace to his and said, "What do you know about the Dalish?"

"Not that much. My mother was Dalish, my father Antivan," he said thoughtfully. "I was sold to the Crows when I was five, so I never really knew them."

"Your parents sold you?" I asked, surprised.

"Of course. They needed the coin and it was an honor to be a Crow," he said smiling.

"So you're willing to throw that allegiance away to travel with me?" I said wonderingly.

"I am throwing nothing away. I had never been defeated," he said. Then he looked over at me and smiled leeringly, "until you, that is. The Crows have a strict policy for failure - death. But I must admit, I could not have asked for a more beautiful and skillful conqueror to realign with," and he batted his eyes shamelessly.

Laughing, I pushed his shoulder to knock him a little off balance. "You are definitely a rogue!"


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

The Brecilian Forest stretched from just south of the Imperial Road all the way to the southern and eastern shores of the Amaranthian Sea. Westward it ended where the Korcari Wilds began. This large expanse of woods and rivers held more legends and myths than any area in Ferelden. Fortunately the Dalish Elves camped in the same spot every year and there was a well traveled road leading into it. Once we entered the road, it didn't take long for a few Dalish scouts to approach us.

"The Dalish are camped here and you are not welcome!" A female elf said. The elves were shorter than me, with long pointed ears and faces covered with various tattoos.

"I am a Grey Warden and I need to speak with your leader regarding an important matter," I stated.

She looked at me with great suspicion, "How do I know you are a Grey Warden?"

"Are there many people who go about pretending to be Grey Wardens?" I countered.

"No." she paused a moment. "I will take you, but only you, to see the Keeper."

"Wait a minute!" Alistair protested. "I'm going with her."

"This man is also a Grey Warden and should come with me. The rest can stay here," I proposed. My companions muttered but I ignored them.

The elf looked at Alistair, then nodded. She motioned for the other elves to stay and watch my friends and we followed her into the forest. She led us through a large encampment to an elderly elf. "Why do you bring humans into our home, Mithra?"

"They claim to be Grey Wardens and wish to speak with you," Mithra said.

"Thank you Mithra, you were wise to bring them to me," he said as he turned to us, "My name is Zathrian. I am keeper of this clan."

I introduced myself, "My name is Felicia and this is Alistair. Thank you for seeing us," We both bowed to the keeper.

"Courtesy? From a shemlen?" Zathrian asked, surprised. "If you've come to warn us about the Blight, we have known for some time now."

"Actually, we have come to enlist the elves' aid in fighting the Blight," I said.

Zathrian shook his head, "I know of our contract to aid the Grey Wardens in times of Blight; however, my clan is currently unable to help themselves, let alone fight the Blight."

"What has happened? Can we help?" I asked.

He hesitated. "We do not share our troubles with outsiders, however I am getting desperate. My clan is cursed. The only way to lift the curse is to slay the great white wolf, Witherfang, where the origin of the curse lays. Many of our warriors have tried and all have either been killed or injured grievously. Perhaps, being human, you will have different luck. If I have Witherfang's heart, I should be able to dispel the curse," he said.

"What is the nature of this curse?" I asked.

"There is no healing from injuries sustained by the great wolf's pack- anyone injured ultimately dies," he said sadly.

"May I have your permission to include my friends in the hunt? They are not Grey Wardens but they are skilled fighters," I said.

Zathrian looked at me and nodded. "I will trust you Grey Wardens. The last known location of Witherfang is deep in the forest. There are ancient ruins that the pack has claimed as its own. You should find Witherfang there. I hope my trust is not betrayed."

I nodded and bowed. "By your leave, Keeper."

"Ma serannas, many thanks, Wardens," he said in return.

...

When we returned to my companions, I explained the situation. "I give you the choice as to whether you wish to come with me or not," I said.

"My mother told me stories of this curse," Morrigan said. "She said it involved werewolves."

"Wait. Did you say werewolves?" Alistair said nervously. "They are only myth and legend? Right?"

"You have no fear of an archdemon or darkspawn, but werewolves make you nervous?" Zevran taunted.

Alistair just glared at him.

"Like I said, we need the elves' help and the only way to gain it is to get rid of this curse. Bodahn and Sandal will set up camp here. Anyone not wanting to go with me can stay here as well," I said.

"No, I'm bloody well coming," Alistair said.

The rest of the group echoed their assent and we headed off into the forest. Dagger bounded ahead happily chasing rabbits and squirrels. We worked our way through the forest until we reached a clearing. Without warning, we were surrounded by several large beasts. Covered in fur, they stood on their hind legs and towered over us. Vicious fangs and claws were their visible weapons. One of them stepped closer as we drew our own weapons. "Hold!" he snarled. "Who are you? Why you here?"

"You can speak?" I asked, surprised.

"Of course. Not all of us are mindless beasts!" he snapped, and then repeated: "Why are you in our forest?"

"My name is Felicia and I am a Grey Warden. I am trying to find a cure for the curse that afflicts the elves," I replied.

"So, Zathrian has enlisted human help now. I am Swiftrunner. We share the curse, but there is no cure," he growled.

"I was told that a white wolf named Witherfang is the origin of the curse," I said.

A chorus of growls and snarls rang up from the werewolves surrounding us. "Ha!" Swiftrunner cried. "I'm sure Zathrian didn't tell you the whole story. The elf Zathrian is the cause."

"Great," murmured Alistair. "Now, who do I believe more?"

"Does Witherfang speak as you...can I meet him?" I asked Swiftrunner.

"I will take you, but not the others- they wait here," he growled.

"Not again!" Alistair said. "I'm going with you." As Alistair stepped forward, one of the werewolves blocked his way.

"NO!" shouted Swiftrunner, "Only the female will go."

My group readied for battle. I waved them back. "It's okay everyone. I'll be fine," I reassured them and turned to Swiftrunner. "Let's go."

"I've got a bad feeling about this..." I heard Alistair saying as I followed Swiftrunner into the forest.

As soon as we were out of sight of my friends, a large white wolf approached. Before my eyes, the wolf transformed into a beautiful woman. Her dark flowing hair had flowers all throughout and her robes looked like they were woven from green vines. She looked at me as appraisingly as I looked at her and her green eyes sparkled when they looked into mine. "So, you are a Grey Warden" she said, her voice soft and melodious. "I am the Spirit of the Forest."

"Hello, I am Felicia. I am a bit confused though. I was told that the white wolf was Witherfang," I said politely.

"Yes, I am also Witherfang," she said sadly. "There is a long story involved."

"I seem to be at a disadvantage. I'm told that both you and Zathrian are the cause of this curse. Would it be possible to get you and Zathrian together to discuss this so that I can determine the truth behind the story?" I asked.

"I have tried to talk to Zathrian, but he will not hear me. Perhaps with you as mediator he will," She looked at me for a moment and said, "You go back to the camp and bring him here. Bring only him. I will tell the pack to not harm either of you and we will see how you judge truth. Your friends will be safe, but they must stay where they are. Agreed?"

"I agree," I said. I headed back to the elven camp area. When I found Zathrian, I explained the situation.

"I will go with you if you promise to kill Witherfang," he said stubbornly.

"I will hear both sides of the story and judge for myself," I said firmly.

He looked at me angrily, but followed me back to the clearing in the woods where we met with the Spirit of the Forest.

"So, Zathrian, have you come to hear reason finally?" She asked in her soft voice.

"I am here to end the curse, all of you should die!" He said angrily.

I got in front of him. "Alright. That's enough!" I snapped. "Please one of you, tell me what is going on!"

The Spirit looked at me sadly. "The sad truth is, centuries ago, the Dalish came to this forest for the first time. A group of humans built a small settlement near here also. The humans did not want the elves to be in the forest and they raided the elven camp."

"The humans were monsters. They tortured and raped my clan," Zathrian interrupted. "My son died from his injuries. My daughter killed herself when she discovered she was pregnant by those vile beasts. So I used every bit of my magic and cursed them."

"Yes, you cursed the humans, turning them into werewolves. A side-effect of your curse was that I became trapped within Witherfang. Since that time I have tried to give those who were cursed some sanity, to prevent them from following the beastly urges that overpower them," she said.

"Every year, when we traveled to this forest, we tried to kill off the werewolves to end the curse," Zathrian said. "Every year there seem to be more beasts than the year before and more of my clan dies. This year was the worst."

I looked at Zathrian. "Are you telling me that you are over a hundred years old?"

The Spirit said, "Another side effect of the curse. As long as Zathrian lives, the curse lives. I have felt what it is like to be mortal and I am ready to end my own life to lift the curse, but my death alone will not be sufficient."

"These are not the people who wronged you," I said trying to sound reasonable. "Can you not set aside your hate and anger to end this madness?"

Zathrian looked at me and said, "if one of your kin was murdered or defiled, would you not spend the rest of your days looking for vengeance? Even unto the descendants?"

I lowered my head, thinking. This was hitting too close to home. What would I do about the murder of my family? If I saw Thomas or Nathaniel Howe, would I hate them? Would I be able to forgive them? What about Arl Howe or Loghain? Would I be able to stand by and let the justice system choose their punishment or would my anger at their crimes rule my actions?

I looked up at Zathrian with tears in my eyes. "I know too well the emotions involved with losing one's family. I pray that the Maker gives me the strength to do what's right and just. I do not believe that an innocent should pay the price for an ancestor's mistakes. The ones who wronged you are long dead. There is no one left for you to punish. Please Zathrian, let go of the anger, pain and sorrow you feel. Remove the curse. Show mercy."

Zathrian looked at me questioningly. I could see he was evaluating my words. He looked at Witherfang and said. "I have hated for so long that I do not even know how to forgive anymore. My anger and hatred was all I knew. It is hard to give mercy when none was shown to my family," He looked at me, "Warden, you are wise beyond your years. I feel confident that you will be able to end this Blight. Here, take this back to the clan," he handed me an amulet, "this is the Keeper's Grace. It will be given to the next keeper of our clan." He looked at Witherfang and said, "Let's do this while I still can."

He walked toward the spirit, they embraced and he began casting a spell that enveloped them both in a bright light. I had to look away from the brightness and when it faded, they were both gone. I stood there for a moment thinking about what had just transpired. I shook my head sadly and went off to find my companions. I heard talking and soon came upon them . There were some strange humans with them and I learned that these were the werewolves who had once been cursed. They vowed to leave the elves alone and headed back to the ruins that had been their home.

We returned to the elven camp. I looked for Mithra and explained what had happened. She took the keeper's amulet and assured me that the next Keeper would uphold the treaty. I bowed and we left the elves' camp and worked our way through the forest back to our own camp.

I know that I was quiet and thankfully no one pressed me for answers. Leliana sang and Zevran told another of his outlandish stories. Alistair sat quietly next to me, leaving me to my thoughts. I knew I was not going to get much sleep this night.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Three days of rain is too much for anyone. To make it worse it was a cold, driving, persistent rain that soaked everything through and through.. The tents weren't much help at night and my armor trapped the moisture against my skin. We slogged through muddy ground and dismal surroundings. The darkspawn had come through this area and didn't leave much behind. The entire group was moody and the sniping among everyone was getting worse and worse. I was so tired, partly my own fault for pushing us hard every day, that I had trouble responding civilly to anyone. I'm sure Alistair thought that I had lost my mind when instead of veering away from the buzzing in my head, I centered on it and headed directly towards it.

"Um...are you sure you want to go that way?" he asked, confused.

"Yes." I said curtly. "Bodahn and Sandal, stay here. Everyone follow me." I ordered. As the buzzing became louder, I realized that only Alistair and I had actually battled darkspawn. "Listen to me." I said quietly. "There is a group of darkspawn ahead. You must be careful. Their blood is poisonous. Make sure you don't get any in your mouth or eyes."

The gleam in Sten's eyes reassured me that my instincts had been right. We needed something to break the monotony of the travel. We charged into a small squad of darkspawn. It felt good to take out a bit of rage on these monsters. Once they were killed, we moved back to the road, using the still driving rain to cleanse ourselves.

As evening approached, it finally stopped raining and we set up camp in a reasonably dry area. I changed clothes in my tent and when I came out, Wynne had erected a makeshift clothesline. We all hung our wet clothes to dry and sat down to eat.

"The blood of darkspawn is poison, no?" Zevran asked.

"Yes, that's where the Blight sickness comes from. Why?" I asked.

"Oh, I am a bit of an expert on poisons," he said. "They are extremely useful."

"There is no antidote for Blight sickness. Nor for whatever the poison that was used on Arl Eamon." Alistair said sadly.

"Yes, that is why Andraste's Ashes are needed. Legend says they cure anything," Leliana said.

"But it is only a legend," Wynne interjected. "Do we know that the urn truly exists?"

"I pray to the Maker that it does. We do not have the luxury of chasing fool's errands," I said.

Leliana looked at me curiously. "You have not been yourself since our visit with the elves. Are you sure you are alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine." I sighed depressed. "We have so much still to do and the rain hasn't helped."

"No, but we should reach Haven tomorrow., Then we'll find out about the ashes. A day back to Redcliff and the Arl will be cured. " Alistair said, trying to cheer me up for a change. "No problem, right?"

I smiled weakly at him, "Right." I looked down at my armor. It needed attending to by a good smithy. It looked dingy and old. I realized that the camp had grown silent and everyone was watching me. Maker's breath, can't I just wallow in my own despair? I looked around at everyone and said, "I'm turning in. Hopefully it will be nice and sunny when we wake up tomorrow."

...

The nightmare was terrible, I relived that dreadful night at Highever Castle. I awoke with a shout on my lips and my heart racing. I got up and went out to the fire. To my surprise, Leliana was there. I sat down next to her. "Couldn't sleep?" I asked.

"I took first watch tonight." She looked at me. "Felicia, I consider you a good friend and I hope you feel the same."

I smiled, "Yes, I do. What's the matter? Do you need to talk about anything?"

"No," she said and her gaze intensified, "but, you do."

"I'm alright," I sighed, "The confrontation with the elves and the werewolves made me question myself. How do I know if I am doing the right thing? Everyone has put me in charge. What if I do something wrong?"

She put her hand on my arm. "I do not know why you are doubting yourself. Look at what you have accomplished so far. We saved the Circle of Mages, we rescued Connor, and you resolved the situation with the elves without bloodshed. Look at what you did just today. We were all in terrible moods and you purposefully found a battle where everyone was able to vent their frustrations. It broke the tension and let us release our anxieties onto something substantial. Everyone is a lot more relaxed now. That is the sign of a true leader."

"Yes, I put everyone in unnecessary danger because I was so angry that I needed to kill something," I said sarcastically.

She smiled, "Now you sound like Alistair. Speaking of him, are you two getting closer yet?" she asked, winking.

"Leli!" I exclaimed with mock embarrassment and laughed.

"You are very pretty when you are smiling," Zevran said, sitting on my other side.

"Were you eavesdropping?" Leliana asked, "I told you I would talk to her."

"I just love watching two women being conspiratorial," he laughed. "I personally thank you, Felicia, I enjoyed our bout with the darkspawn immensely."

"I'm glad. You're going to have lots of chances to fight them in the future," I said.

Alistair poked his head out of his tent. "If everyone else is taking my watch, I'm going back to bed," he said and went back into his tent.

We laughed and Leliana looked in my eyes. "I trust you. The Maker sent me to you for a reason."

"I trust you too. A crow is not easy to defeat and yet here I am," Zevran looked at me. "You inspire confidence."

"I don't know what to say, except, thank you." I said.

...

Haven was a small village nestled in the southern regions of the Frostback Mountains. When we arrived it was a sunny mid-afternoon, but the village was dark with shadows from the surrounding trees. There was no sign of the inhabitants. I asked Bodahn and Sandal to set up camp outside the village and the rest of us headed toward a larger building on a hill. As we approached the building we could hear chanting and praying. I opened the door as quietly as possible and entered the back of what was evidently a chantry. I was surprised to see an older man dressed in chantry robes leading the praying. I had never heard of a male leader in the chantry.

"Oh great Andraste, thank you for coming back to us and allowing us to serve you. Maker be with you all," the leader chanted.

As people began leaving, we worked our way to the front. "Maker be with you," the man said. "We don't get visitors to our village and unfortunately we have no inn for you to stay at."

"Maker be with you," I said and bowed. "I am Felicia and I'm looking for a scholar who was doing research in the area." I didn't like the unfriendly look this man was giving me.

"I am the Reverend Father and there have been no outsiders in our village," he said. "I'm sorry to have wasted your time."

"A Reverend Father?" Leliana asked. "I have never heard of such a thing."

"Our traditions are centuries old. We do not have to explain ourselves to anyone," he said sourly.

"I'm pretty sure the scholar should be here," I said, watching him carefully. "His name is Brother Genitivi."

The Reverend Father looked us over, then said, "We don't want trouble, there is no Brother Genitivi here. We have a small general store that you may utilize before you leave our village."

In my peripheral vision, I saw armed men entering the room. Alistair whispered, "I think they're hiding something." I nodded.

Leliana said, "Perhaps due to your location, you do not realize that the chantry should be open and welcoming to all who step inside."

"Our village was chosen to protect the newly risen Andraste. No one may enter," and he backed up.

"Newly risen?" Leliana questioned. The armed men were advancing slowly.

"You must leave. Now." The Reverend Father ordered and his men raised their weapons.

"Look, we don't want a fight. We just want to know where Brother Genitivi is," I said, watching the advancing men warily.

"I told you, Andraste's ashes are not here. He left," the Reverend Father said.

"You said he wasn't here and I didn't say anything about Andraste's Ashes." I said, reaching for my sword. "You are obviously lying and hiding Brother Genitivi somewhere."

The chantry men attacked at that moment and as we fought I saw the Reverend Father duck through a door behind the altar. I gave chase. I followed him down a short hallway to another door. He slammed it shut and I tried to break it down. "Allow me," Sten said and I stepped aside as he threw his massive form against the door shattering the frame.

Inside the room, the Reverend Father was cowering behind a large armed man. In the corner, an elderly man was tied to a chair. Sten quickly overpowered the armed man as I released the hostage. "Brother Genitivi?" I asked.

"Yes, but how did you know?" he asked, rubbing his arms.

"We are trying to find the ashes for Arl Eamon." I said.

"Do not disturb the ashes!" the Reverend Father shouted. "Andraste will take her anger out on our village."

"You said Andraste is reborn. How?" Leliana asked.

"I will not discuss this with you!" the Reverend Father spat.

"We need a key that the Reverend Father keeps on a chain around his neck," Genitivi said.

I snatched the key while Sten held the reverend father. I decided to have Sten tie the Reverend Father to the chair and we left the room.

Brother Genitivi said excitedly, "The ashes are kept in a temple that was built inside the mountain. The key will unlock the door to the temple."

We traveled up a path that led to an intricate door built into the side of the mountain. Genitivi unlocked the door and we entered slowly. The room was large with massive columns. Dust and cobwebs covered everything but you could still see the innate beauty of the room. Detailed carvings covered the marble structures. The ceiling arched upwards, higher than most buildings would be. Marble benches created rows of pews facing an altar at one end. This was not a temple but a cathedral.

"Magnificent!" Genitivi exclaimed. "It would take a lifetime to document the stories these carvings hold! Who knows what information this will yield about Andraste's life!"

"What a wonderful place to house the ashes of Andraste!" Leliana said excitedly.

Genitivi looked at me and said, "The ashes are to be found farther in. I'll wait here and start working on these beautiful carvings."

I smiled at his childlike enthusiasm. We left him taking tracings and walked deeper into the large cathedral. There was a door behind the altar that led into a small modest room . Bookshelves and a desk were the only furniture but all the books and papers were moldy and dusty from the many years. Another door on the opposite wall opened to a hall that led deeper into the mountain. This narrow hallway became more and more of a stony crevice and finally opened into a large deep cave. The smell here was awful. I had never encountered anything like it. As we moved through the cave, I noticed that there were several large rocks scattered about. Upon closer inspection I realized that they weren't rocks. Their surface was pearlescent and leathery to the touch.

"Dragon eggs!" Zevran exclaimed. "Oh, if we could take just one, the money to be had!"

"Dragons?" Alistair asked warily, "I thought dragons were gone from Ferelden."

Morrigan said, "They are still around, although they are few and hard to find." She went up to one of the eggs and put her ear to it. "These are viable."

"I don't want to be in here when Momma comes back." Alistair said nervously.

We moved cautiously to an opening at the back of the cave. If the size of this opening was any indication of how large the dragon was, I did not want to meet it. The cave opened out onto the edge of a chasm. A stone bridge had been built across the chasm and on the other side we could see another stone structure. As we crossed the bridge, I scanned the sky nervously for any sign of a dragon. We reached the other side to discover an altar and another door built into this side of the mountain. No key was needed this time The door creaked as it slowly opened.

We entered a modest room with no furniture. There was a door at the opposite end. "The veil to the Fade is very thin here." Wynne said.

"This is a place of great magic." Morrigan agreed quietly.

An apparition of an old cleric appeared before us. "I am the Guardian, the protector of the Urn of Sacred Ashes. Who are you and why are you here?" he asked.

"I am Felicia, a Grey Warden. My companions and I seek Andraste's Ashes to cure a sick man," I replied.

"You have come to honor Andraste and you shall honor her if you prove yourself worthy." he said. "Through this door is the Gauntlet where your worthiness will be decided. If you fail, your journey ends here. If you succeed, you will be allowed to see the urn and take a small pinch of ashes for yourself."

I bowed to the Guardian and said, "Please, let us proceed."

He bowed to us and vanished. We went through the door into another barren room. Another apparition appeared in the center. "In order to pass you must answer my riddle: She wields a broken sword, and separates true kings from tyrants. Of whom do I speak?"

I hesitated and thought the puzzle out carefully. "Mercy." I answered.

"Correct." The apparition vanished and a door appeared .

"Well that wasn't too hard," Alistair whispered.

We entered yet another empty room with a door on the opposite wall. This door had no handle, but it had five carvings that looked like gears. I experimented and discovered that turning them a certain way made two lock together. I kept turning gears and working the puzzle until eventually all of the gears locked into place and the door opened.

Zevran looked at me and said, "I'm impressed, perhaps I should teach you lock picking skills."

I smiled at him as we went through the door into another small room. On the far wall was a mirror framed with delicate flowers. We approached the mirror and a ghostly figure appeared. "Stand before me and reveal yourself to be true and you shall pass."

I stood in front of the mirror and saw myself. I almost didn't recognize myself. There were dark circles under my bloodshot blue eyes, my hair was dirty and tangled, my arms and legs were covered with bruises, dirt and scars and my armor was in pitiful shape. My reflection looked back and I jumped when it started to speak, "You abandoned your mother and father to die. You knew that traitor would give them no mercy and yet you left them to save yourself. You should have stayed and defended them to the death. You failed your family."

I was shocked to hear my own harshest thoughts spoken out loud. "No." I said tearfully, "No, it was my parent's last wish that I survive and carry on. I will make them proud of me." I took a deep breath as I saw my image shimmer in the mirror until I could see an empty room. I tentatively touched the mirror and felt no resistance, so I stepped through the frame into the next room, Dagger at my heels.

I looked behind me and saw the mirror solidify before Alistair could follow. My companions looked at each other curiously and Alistair stepped forward hesitantly.

I saw double Alistairs and heard his image say to him, "You should have stayed with Duncan. You could have prevented his death and things would be different. You weren't there when he needed you most."

I could see Alistair struggling with his emotions. He took a deep breath and said sadly, "No I couldn't have helped him. I would just be dead too."

The mirror dissolved allowing Alistair through. Leliana stepped up confidently and the double image appeared again. "The Maker speaks to you? The Maker has spoken only to Andraste. Are you saying you are her equal? You enjoyed the attention that your beliefs drew to you from your brothers and sister in the cloister. You are unworthy."

Leliana looked shocked, but said, "No. I know what I believe and I trust my heart." She closed her eyes and I saw her lips move in a prayer. As she opened them, the mirror dissolved to allow her passage.

Sten walked up to the mirror. "I have no doubt that I committed a crime. In helping these Grey Wardens I will atone for my errors." The mirror dissolved and Sten walked through.

Wynne approached the mirror and I heard her reflection say, "You spout platitudes as if they were words of wisdom. You are only a tool used by the Circle and the Chantry. " Wynne responded, "No. I try to help others but only a fool is completely without doubt." She stepped through as the mirror faded.

Zevran stepped up and said, "It is my turn for the self-flagellation, how exciting. I have no issues with being an assassin." I then heard his reflection say, "Many have died, do you not regret? Especially the woman named..."

"No." Zevran interrupted angrily, then he hesitated. "Yes," he said sighing, "I do have regrets but I stand by my decisions," he said and stepped quickly through as the mirror faded.

Morrigan looked at the mirror and said, "Is there any religion that does not thrive upon guilt and self-remorse? I think not." With that she stepped through the mirror.

We stood a moment, each absorbed in our own thoughts. Our deepest regrets had just been aired for all of us to hear. I looked at Morrigan, daring her to make a snide comment, but thankfully she held her tongue.

The room we were in now was similar to the cathedral in architecture but much smaller. An altar sat before us. Upon it was a large statue of Andraste holding an urn. This must surely be the temple.

The guardian appeared. "You have been tested and are worthy to approach Andraste."

We stood quietly for a moment in front of the statue. I felt a variety of emotions as I looked at the beautiful marble woman in front of me. Leliana had purchased a small black velvet pouch in Denerim. She handed this to me for the pinch of ashes and said quietly, "I never dreamed I would lay my eyes on the Urn of Sacred Ashes."

"I agree," Wynne said, amazement in her voice, "I could not have asked for a greater honor than to be here."

"We actually succeeded in finding Andraste's final resting place," Alistair said, quietly.

"I stand in awe," Morrigan said sarcastically.

"Nice vase. I should get one for my house," Zevran said and smirked.

Sten was not as gracious, "Congratulations. You found a waste-bin." I looked at Sten. Could he have actually cracked a joke? I couldn't tell, he looked as serious as always.

We turned around to leave. From this direction the tests were just plain doors and we passed through to the first room quickly. An apparition in this room and it looked like my father. "My dearest child," he said.

"Father?" I asked softly.

"You know that I am gone, and all your prayers and wishes will not bring me back. No more must you grieve. Take the pain and the guilt , acknowledge it, and let it go. It is time. You have such a long road ahead of you and you must be strong," he said.

"How?" I sobbed.

"Pup, know that I love you and I am very proud of all you have done and will do. I know that you are destined to do great things," and he vanished.

I hadn't felt myself drop to my knees until I felt a hand on my shoulder, "My lady," Wynne said quietly, "if you need some time..."

"No," I said in a cracking voice. I stood up and wiped my eyes. "We need to hurry back to Redcliffe Castle."

We made our way carefully back across the bridge and down through the tunnel. As we returned to the Temple, Genitive became very excited to see us.

"I was starting to get worried. Did you find the Urn?" he asked.

"Yes," I said. "There were various trials we had to pass in order to get there. There is also evidence of a dragon."

"A dragon?" he asked worried.

"Yes," said Alistair. "That should keep curiosity seekers away."

"I have much work and much research to do," he said excitedly. "I am heading back to Denerim for now. If you should find yourself there, look me up."

Night had fallen as we arrived back at the village. We worked our way cautiously back to our campsite avoiding anyone who might be watching for us. I knew it would take about a day to get back to Redcliffe, so I decided that we should just head out. Bodahn and Sandal helped us pack up a camp that we never used and we started back down the mountain. I hoped my friends would forgive me for the pace I set.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The journey back to Redcliffe Castle reminded me of my flight from Highever with the frantic pace I set. We stopped only for a moment at a river to refill our canteens at mid-day. When we arrived at Redcliffe Castle it was twilight and everyone was relieved to finally be at our destination. Camp was set up at the mill for Sten, Dagger and Morrigan. Bodahn and Sandal went into the village. Wynne, Leliana, Zevran, Alistair and I headed into the castle. Teagan came out to meet us. "Thank the Maker! You're back! I had almost given up hope."

"We found the ashes," I said. "We aren't too late, are we?"

"No, the Arl still lives," Teagan replied. "You look exhausted. I will have rooms made ready for you."

"Thank you. Let's pray that the ashes save the Arl," I said.

Wynne looked at Teagan, "If I may, I would like to participate with the Arl's healing."

"Of course," Teagan said.

I gave Wynne the pouch with the ashes and she followed Teagan to Arl Eamon's room. A servant came to show the rest of us to our rooms. I entered mine to find a hot bath waiting. I got undressed and sighed as I lowered myself into the water. I soaped and scrubbed and washed my hair enjoying the sensation of being clean. There was a pretty nightgown laid out on the bed and after I was dry I put that on. It fit well enough and I actually started to feel human again. I brushed the tangles out of my hair and fluffed it out to dry. I eyed the feather bed trying to decide if I was more sleepy or more hungry. My rumbling stomach chose for me and I slipped on a robe that was also laid out. It had gotten late so I quietly crept out of my room and made my way to the kitchen.

I found the kitchen easily and entered to a dark, empty room. I started to hunt around for food and one of the cooks entered.

"I thought I heard someone scrapin' about my kitchen," she said, "sit down and let me heat you up some warm food."

"Thank you," I said gratefully and sat down.

The door to the kitchen creaked open and Alistair poked his head in. "Hi. Is there enough for two?" he asked. The cook motioned for him to sit down and served us large mugs of ale and two heaping bowls of stew. A large loaf of bread was put on the table and we dug in.

We were eating, Teagan came into the kitchen. "I'm glad I found you awake. Eamon's going to be alright. Wynne says he needs to rest, but by morning he should be able to receive visitors."

"That's wonderful news!" I said. "Now I'll be able to sleep better."

Alistair nodded. "I'll be glad to see him. I just hope he's glad to see me."

"I'm sure he will be," I said reassuringly.

Alistair became quiet and Teagan said, "I'll leave you two. I'm going to go rest myself. We'll meet in the morning," and he left us.

Alistair looked at me and I could see he wanted to talk. "I'm sorry about what you have gone through. I've been so selfish, moaning about my troubles," he said. "You haven't had any of the good parts of being a warden. You lose your family, get thrown into a terrible battle and put in charge of a hopeless expedition. Yet, you don't complain, in fact you try to cheer everyone around you."

I looked at him, surprised. "It doesn't make sense to spend time worrying over things you can't change. I have always tried to do my best, whatever the situation might be."

He reached out and took my hand. "I want to be more like you," he said quietly.

We sat for a moment and my stomach made a loud and clear reminder of why I was in the kitchen. I put my hand over my mouth to stifle a giggle, then dug into the food . When I was finished eating I tried unsuccessfully to stifle a huge yawn. "I guess I should go to bed," and I got up to leave. "Good night." Impulsively I kissed his cheek and hurried out, not before seeing the pink tinge on his face and his hand raised to his cheek.

I got to my room and snuggled into the softness of the feather bed. I drifted off to sleep with a slight smile on my face.

...

I woke up with sunlight streaming through the window. I hadn't slept that well in weeks. I arose and found a pretty blue dress laid out for me. I put it on and looked at myself appraisingly. Well, not too bad, I thought. The dress didn't fit perfectly but it showed off my figure favorably. I braided my hair in a and wrapped into a bun. I actually felt like Lady Cousland today.

I left my room and went down to the dining hall. Everyone else was already at the table and when I entered all the men stood. I curtseyed and said, "Arl Eamon, it is a pleasure to see you again."

"Felicia Cousland!" he interrupted, surprised. "What are you doing here? How are Bryce and Eleanor?"

"I am a Grey Warden now. I have sad news to tell you." I tried to ignore the questioning glances directed at me by my friends . "Arl Renden Howe has turned traitor. He attacked Highever Castle after my brother Fergus took the bulk of our troops to Ostagar. I'm sorry to tell you that both my father and mother were killed along with everyone in the castle. I alone escaped thanks to the Warden-Commander Duncan." I stood regally and maintained my composure as I related my tale under the intense scrutiny of everyone at the table. "My hope is that as a friend of my father's and an influential voice in the Bannorn, you can help us regain control from Loghain and mount an attack against the Blight and the Archdemon."

Eamon looked at me and then took my hand. "I am so sorry, my dear. I considered Bryce and Eleanor among my closest friends. Of course I will aid you in this. Teagan has been telling me about the political posturing that has been going on." He let go and we sat down. "Alistair and I have discussed the situation, also. Although he disagrees, I feel the best course of action is to call a Landsmeet and put him forth as the last blood heir. Unfortunately, it's going to take some time to call the Landsmeet. But, the latest reports say that the darkspawn are still in the deep south, so we may have enough time to enough nobles to have a valid vote."

"I don't think that I should be king just because I have Theirin blood in my veins," Alistair declared, still looking at me questioningly.

I looked at him, "It is a matter of duty and honor. Sometimes we don't get to pick our destiny. I know that you are a good man, and you will make a fine king."

The servants brought in breakfast and the talking died off as we starting eating. My companions continued to give me curious glances throughout the meal. As we were finishing, Eamon said, "Alistair, I know how you feel. You need to have faith in yourself. I have every confidence that you are up to this challenge."

I spoke up, "Besides, you'll have plenty of time to get used to the idea. It's going to take time to get the Landsmeet together and we still have to go visit the dwarves."

"With our luck, we'll have to run some crazy errand for them," Alistair grumbled.

"My lord," Wynne spoke up. "You really should go rest. You don't want to overtire yourself."

"I agree, my dear." Isolde said. "Come let us retire to your room until later today. Your guests probably need a break from their journeys as well."

"Yes. I agree, we could definitely use a break," I said. "We should leave for Orzammar tomorrow morning."

The Arl and Arlessa stood and then we all stood, women curtseying and men bowing as they left the room. As soon as the door shut behind them, Leliana spoke up, "Were you not going to tell us?"

"Well, I was avoiding it as long as possible," I muttered.

"My lady." Alistair looked at me smugly, "Now I see why you were so understanding about my bastardness."

"Felicia, don't you realize how important you are?" Wynne said concerned, "If you are the last Cousland..."

"I'm not!" I said forcibly. "I have to believe that my brother, Fergus is still alive."

"But if he isn't...your family is extremely important," she said.

"How important?" Alistair asked.

"Don't you know?" Teagan spoke up. "Bryce Cousland turned down being king and he backed Maric as the better choice before the war with Orlais."

"Your family is second to the Theirins?" Alistair said, shocked.

I hung my head and said softly, "Was."

Zevran looked at me and said, "Now I understand why Loghain was so insistent that the female warden be killed. I'm sure he doesn't know about Alistair's blood ties."

Teagan looked at Zevran in surprise, "You know about a bounty on Felicia?"

Zevran nodded. "If I had known this earlier, I would have been more on the alert. I'm sure there will be more assassins when it is discovered you still live."

"Then being really, really careful just got kicked up another really," Alistair said angrily.

Leliana came up to me and put her arm around me. "I am sorry that you lost so much. You could have trusted us with this, though. We know about Alistair's royal blood and we don't treat him any differently."

I smiled and hugged her back. I looked around the table. "I am sorry that I didn't tell you, but my heritage changes nothing. I am still just Felicia and we still have a Blight to defeat." I stood up. "I'm going to tell Morrigan and Sten that we are leaving for Orzammar tomorrow morning," I said and I walked out of the dining hall.

"I'm going with you," Alistair said and caught up to me.

As we crossed the bridge to the village, Alistair was quiet and stopped to look out over the lake. "When I was a boy, I used to come and watch the boats coming into and out of the village from here." He looked at me and spoke softly, "I used to dream about having a family. One that cared about me as much as I cared about them. I can't imagine having that and then having it taken away all in one night."

I looked down at the water, my eyes tearing ,remaining silent. I felt Alistair put his hand over top of mine on the stone rail. We stood there for a moment and when I looked up, he was watching me intently. "You are very beautiful," he said.

I was taken aback by his comment and teased, "Well a good bath, a good night's sleep and a pretty dress can give that illusion."

"It's no illusion," he said, looking deeply into my eyes. I smiled and flushed before I turned away and started walking toward Morrigan and Sten.

...

After explaining our plans to Morrigan and Sten, I told Alistair that I wanted to check if my armor was finished being repaired. He was going to meet with Arl Eamon and didn't like leaving me. I reasoned with him and finally he headed reluctantly back to the castle as I headed into the village.

The atmosphere of the village was changed drastically from the last time we were here. People were busy repairing their houses, flowers were blooming and everyone seemed to be smiling. I headed toward the smithy and discovered I had a couple of free hours until my armor would be ready. I found Bodahn and Sandal and advised them of our plans and they agreed to come along. It had been a long time since they had been in Orzammar and Bodahn was looking forward to going for a visit.

I headed toward the docks and sat at the edge of a pier, taking my shoes off and letting my feet dangle in the cool water. It felt odd to be just sitting, but it felt good too. Since this whole thing had began, I really had not had any time to myself.

"Is this seat taken, my lady?" Zevran asked. I shook my head,. Oh well, I thought, so much for alone time. He sat down next to me and took off his boots to put his feet in the water too. "Ah, the lake is the perfect temperature for relaxing, is it not?"

I smiled and said, "Yes, it's been awhile since I've just relaxed."

"I know. I have watched you. You are very good with getting people to talk to you. Even that Qunari opens up a bit. But you. You never talk about yourself. Even Alistair was surprised regarding your heritage. Why do you not open up?" he asked, looking at me earnestly.

"I have never been comfortable talking about myself. Besides, I don't have the fantastic stories to tell that you do," I said smiling.

"Yes, I know my colorful stories are fascinating. But I would like to hear one story about you at least," he smiled at me encouragingly. "I heard you competed in a tournament here. What was that like? "

I smiled at the memory. "Actually the Redcliffe tournament wasn't as much fun as the Denerim tournament four years ago. My parents would not allow me to compete in that one, although I had begged and pleaded. My weapons instructor, Ser Gilmore, even stood up for me. But my mother would hear nothing of it. She had fought in the war with Orlais and didn't want her daughter to follow in her footsteps. So, I snuck out of our estate in Denerim and entered the tournament under a false name.

"I wore full battle gear with a helmet. No one, not even my brother knew who I was. I won every bout I participated in. King Cailen declared me the winner and bade me to remove my helm. You could have knocked Mother over with a feather. Father was beaming with pride and Fergus kept telling anyone who would listen that I was his little sister. After that, I was allowed to enter tournaments whenever I wanted." I glanced at Zevran to see his reaction.

He began laughing heartily. "I would have loved to see the looks on the faces of the men you bested!" he said. I began laughing, remembering the shock and embarrassment many had displayed.

I looked into his amber eyes. Beneath the rogue was a different man. He leaned toward me and brushed his lips against mine. I stiffened at first, but then relaxed into his gentle kiss. We parted and a flush rose to my cheeks. What was I doing?

"You are an amazing, beautiful woman, Felicia," he said quietly. "Don't hide your stories. They are just as good as mine," he smiled broadly. "Of course, I would have added the celebration afterwards to the story: the wine, the women, (or men) and all the songs!" he laughed again and turned to gaze over the lake and we sat companionably.

...

After the evening meal, we discussed our plans. It was agreed that our group would go to Orzammar then to Denerim, where we would meet at Arl Eamon's estate. We would formulate our strategy for the Landsmeet then. We all stood and everyone set about their own business of packing and resupplying. I decided to find Arl Eamon's study. It had been a while since I had read anything and his library was quite large. I selected a book on the dwarves and Orzammar with the intent to refresh my memory. I had just settled onto a sofa to read when Alistair came in.

"Oh, you're busy. I'll come back later," he said and started to leave.

"No. That's alright," I said. "Did you need me for something?"

"Well, I just wanted to thank you," he said hesitantly.

"For what?" I asked surprised.

"For saving Eamon and his family. You went out of your way when it have would be easier to just..." He was actually kind of cute when he was embarrassed. "Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I appreciate what you did."

"You said Eamon raised you, but I got the feeling things weren't that easy," I said, patting the seat next to me.

Alistair sat down. "No. When Eamon took me in there were all kinds of rumors flying about me being his son. He never openly disputed them, but when he married Isolde, she took offence. That's why I was sent to the chantry when I was ten. Eamon would come to visit, but you know kids. I was stubborn and angry and I just wouldn't listen to him. He gave me an amulet that once belonged to my mother and being the stupid kid I was, I threw it across the room. It broke and Eamon just picked it up and left." Alistair sighed and lifted an amulet from under his shirt. "When Eamon spoke with me earlier, he gave this to me. He had it repaired and said that he knew I would want it someday. After all the nasty things I said to him..." Alistair shrugged.

I put a hand on his arm, "You were just a child. Eamon knew you didn't mean what you said."

We sat quietly a moment, then Alistair looked at me with his lop-sided grin and said, "So, all this time we've spent together. You know, the tragedy, the brushes with death, the constant battles, the whole Blight thing looming over us. Will you miss it once it's over?"

I thought a moment and teased, "Miss the battles or miss you?"

He flushed and said hurriedly, "I know it sounds strange. We haven't known each other that long but...I care for you, a lot. Do you think you could feel the same about me or am I fooling myself. I am aren't I...fooling myself."

I looked deeply into his brown eyes and said softly, "I do care about you... a lot."

He leaned over and gently pressed his warm lips to mine. I responded and we kissed deeply. When we parted, he looked at me and said, "That wasn't too soon, was it?"

"Not at all." I said blushing. Now, what was I doing? I thought.

He looked at me for a moment, "You will have to tell me what it was like. Growing up a noble, I mean."

I looked at him and said, "I'm sorry. I know I should have told you earlier. It was like you had said, I didn't want to be treated differently. I was worried that everyone would coddle me and not allow me into battle. I just want everyone to go on treating me like Felicia."

He smiled at me, "I can do that, if you can forget all this 'king' stuff."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

The day dawned overcast as we began our trek to Orzammar. The road wound through a dense forest which made the gloom even darker and by mid-day it had started raining. We journeyed uneventfully upward into the mountains and the rain turned into snow as it got colder. We found an abandoned cave to camp in, just before it got too dark to see. Morrigan used her magic to help start a fire and soon I began to feel warm. I somehow found myself sitting with Alistair on one side and Zevran on the other. Dagger lay at my feet, absorbing the warmth from the fire. Leliana was singing softly to herself and Wynne was sitting quietly. Bodahn and Sandal had pulled out their bedrolls and were settling down. Sten stood at the entrance watching the snow fall. Morrigan looked at me and said, "I will have too much rock around me in Orzammar, I am going out," and she left the cave. Sten stood at the entrance keeping watch.

"So, my lady," Zevran asked breaking the quiet, "tell me, what exactly is a Landsmeet?"

"The Lords, Banns, Arls, and Teyrns are summoned to meet in Denerim. Landsmeets are used when there are major decisions to be made that affect the entire kingdom. King Cailen called one four years ago before the Denerim tournament to suggest opening trade with Orlais." I responded.

"I'm sure there was tremendous opposition to that," Wynne said.

"Yes, my father told me that there were still too many who remembered the war with Orlais. Too many of the nobles had lost family in that war," I said.

"Your father talked to you about politics?" Alistair asked, surprised.

"Yes, to both Fergus and I. He believed that we should always be kept informed of everything in the event we should have to lead. I never believed I would need to," I said softly.

"He was a wise man." Zevran said and took my hand. "I am sorry you lost him."

I looked at the assassin and smiled sadly. "Thank you." I squeezed his hand before I released it. I caught a strange look from Alistair, but decided to ignore it.

The camp grew quiet as one by one we settled into our bedrolls to sleep.

...

The dragon was calling me. I was sure of it. The darkspawn were growling and grunting, but were yielding way to me as I walked through them. As I drew closer to the dragon, it roared furiously.

I sat up and looked around. It was still dark. Sten had moved to the fire and Alistair was standing at the opening of the cave wrapped in a blanket. I grabbed my blanket and quietly got up to join him.

"They will get worse," he said as I approached. "The nightmares. The darkspawn originate in the Deep Roads so the closer we get to them, the stronger the connection."

"Wonderful," I said. "Is that why you're up?"

"Yes, I don't have any wine tonight," he said. "I figured if I wasn't going to sleep anyway, I might as well take a watch."

"I can keep you company," I suggested. "I'm not going back to sleep now."

Alistair nodded and I sat down. He put his arm around me, covering me with his blanket and pulling me close. We sat in comfortable silence, watching as the night began to turn into day.

...

It was still snowing and as we climbed the mountain, and the snow got deeper and the trees thinned out the higher we went. Hours later we walked into a small settlement, of dwarves, who had moved out of the rock enclosed city to sell their wares to surface folk. The settlement was quiet as we passed through and we approached the large stone gates to Orzammar.

Two dwarven guards stood at attention, hailing us as we approached. "The city is closed to visitors at this time."

"We are Grey Wardens and we need to speak with your king," I told them.

"I am sorry, but our city is in turmoil. King Endrin Aeducan has died and there is currently no successor. We will allow no one in." They moved to bar our way.

I was frustrated that each time we tried to serve a treaty there was an issue. "I am not taking no for an answer. I want to talk to whomever is running your city. We have a treaty that needs to be honored." I crossed my arms and looked down on the dwar,f using my most formidable expression.

Alistair stepped forward and showed the guard the treaty. With great resignation the guard said, "Alright. I have to let you in," he moved out of the way and called to the inner guards.

"You must go to the assembly, they can figure out what to do with you," he turned to the guards who approached, "Take them to the assembly."

We entered through the main gates into a great hall lined with large stone statues of various dwarves.

"This is the Hall of Heroes." Bodahn said reverently. "The statues are of great Paragons of our past."

At the end of the hall were two large engraved stone doors. One guard opened the door and said something I couldn't quite hear. He then said to us, "These guards will escort you to the Diamond Quarter." Two guards were standing on the other side of the doorway. They turned and began walking, so we followed.

I had read about the dwarven cities but nothing prepared me for the actual sight. The city was built inside the mountain. Light came from numerous torches and lanterns along the walls. Front entrances to homes and businesses adorned the rock face. Everything was carved from numerous types of stones with a varying degree of detail. The city was much larger than I thought it would be. I noticed that there seemed to be a great many guards patrolling the streets we walked.

"This is the Commons. You are going to the assembly which is in the Diamond Quarter," our escort informed us.

"Why are there so many guards about?" I asked.

"We are in a state of political unrest. King Endrin has died without naming a successor. Two parties are vying for the throne. The assembly is evenly divided on who should be king," he informed us.

"My son and I will stay in the Commons. We will be in the marketplace over there, if you need us." Bodahn said, pointing to a row of stands and carts. I nodded to him.

We followed the guards through the streets and reached another set of doors, one of the guards opened it and spoke to someone. "We will leave you with the Diamond Quarter guards who will take you to the assembly."

We walked through the doors and followed this new set of guards up a flight of stairs. The difference between the Commons and the Diamond Quarter was evident immediately. The fronts of the buildings were more ornate and the dwarves walking the streets were dressed in better clothing. We were led to a pair of intricately carved marble doors with columns on either side.

"The assembly." One of our guards stated.

We walked into a long hallway that led to a circular room. Benches sat on risers to allow a full view of the center stage. One section was more fanciful than the rest and was probably for the king. It was empty at this time. Dwarves were seated around the room listening to another dwarf on the center stage. This dwarf had red hair and his full long beard was braided. He was arguing angrily with yet another dwarf who had white hair and beard.

"It's been too many lanterns, Ohgren!" the older dwarf said. "She is either dead or not coming back!"

"You sodding well haven't tried to look for her!" Ohgren shouted. "All I want is an expedition and I'll bring her back. She'll settle your stupid politics and I'll have my wife back."

"Ohgren, she left you. Even though she's a paragon, we cannot afford to give you any men to look for her. We need them here in the city." The older dwarf suddenly noticed us. "Are you the Grey Wardens the guards told me about?"

"Yes, we've come to request that the dwarves honor their treaty and help us against the Blight," I replied.

"I'm Assembly Steward Bandelor. We are currently in a state of political unrest and cannot aid you until a new king is crowned," he said.

"And like I sodding said, Branka can resolve this, just help me find her." Ohgren said.

"Who is Branka?" I asked.

"Branka is the last paragon." Bandelor responded. "A paragon can choose our king, but she went into the deep roads many lanterns ago and hasn't been heard from since."

"I'm telling you, I know where she was going!" Ohgren shouted.

"If finding this paragon will aid in your political situation so that you can aid us against the Blight, we will help find Branka." I suggested.

"You would do that?" Ohgren asked, surprised.

"Grey Wardens are well respected by us. I will give you a pass to enter the deep roads." Bandelor said. "I don't expect you will be successful, but I trust the stone to decide." He handed me a slip of paper.

"I'm coming!" Ohgren exclaimed. "Let me pack my stuff and I'll meet you at the Deep Road guard post," and he hurried off.

"Oh goodie, another stray." Morrigan sniped.

"Thank you Assembly Steward Bandelor." I said ignoring Morrigan and our group left the building.

"We need to return to Bodahn and advise him of our plan," I said, then noticed the scowl on Sten's face. "Cheer up Sten. The Deep Roads are the home of the darkspawn."

He looked at me and I almost caught a glimmer in his eyes. We went back toward the Commons area and found Bodahn trading with another merchant. He came up to us when he was done.

"We are heading into the Deep Roads." I said. "I certainly understand if you want to stay here with Sandal."

Bodahn looked at me thoughtfully. "I will help you prepare, but I do think it best to keep Sandal out of the Deep Roads. Come with me, you'll want to travel light."

We went over to his cart and he rummaged around for awhile. Soon a pile of bedrolls and other assorted things accumulated on the ground.

"Here's a map I have kept. It's not totally complete. The Deep Roads are vast and not all are connected. After the last Blight, numerous areas were blocked off to prevent darkspawn from being able to travel to the city. But darkspawn aren't your only dangers. There are a lot of scavenger type beasts that have made their homes in the ruins." Bodahn handed me a very old stained cloth with markings on it. The map was confusing with twists and turns of tunnels marked as well as large roadways.

"What are these spots on the map marked 'Thaigs'?" I asked.

"Thaigs are what you surfacers would call settlements. You should be able to find water and shelter in old buildings at these sites. That is, if the wells haven't run dry." Bodahn replied.

Alistair was looking over my shoulder and said, "About how far apart are these Thaigs?"

"I'm not sure. I've never gone into the Deep Roads. Time isn't measured by the day and night here. Dwarves measure time by lanterns. One full lantern lasts about a day to you. Expeditions take twenty to thirty lanterns," he said.

"Weeks!" Alistair exclaimed. "This is not the time to be taking weeks to do anything!"

"I don't think we have much choice. Arl Eamon said it could take up to a month to gather the Landsmeet. Hopefully we'll have time," I said.

"This way," Zevran put in, "we will not be cooped up in some nobleman's estate, waiting. We will be killing darkspawn and maybe denting the opposition a bit, no?"

"You have a point." Alistair agreed, reluctantly.

"Let's pack up and find Ohgren." I said and began to create a backpack for myself with things from Bodahn's pile.

...

Ohgren was waiting impatiently for us. "'Bout time you showed up," he grumbled.

"Do you know where we're going?" I asked.

"Yeah, Branka took her whole house with her to investigate Cariden's Cross. It's an area pretty deep in, where the Paragon Cariden supposedly kept his golem making stuff." Ohgren looked at the map. "This map is old, but we're going there." He pointed to a spot in the middle of the cloth.

I marked it with some ink and asked, "How long will it take to get there?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe seven or eight lanterns," he replied.

I looked at my companions, "This is going to be dangerous. No one is obligated to come if they don't want to."

No one moved and everyone was looking at me expectantly.

"Let's just get going, Warden." Ohgren put in and turned to the guards.

I gave the slip of paper from Bandelor to the Deep Roads Guard and he activated a mechanism that opened two great stone doors. We stepped through them into a dark stone tunnel.

The Deep Roads were carved out of the stone underneath the dwarven cities that scattered throughout the mountains. We descended through the tunnel to reach a broad paved road. There were road markers to show directions to the various Thaigs. We set out on the road heading in the direction of Cariden's Cross.

...

Our travels in the Deep Road were strange, with no day or night, it was hard to tell how long you were walking. We had skirmishes with many different types of underground scavengers and occasionally darkspawn. The darkness was penetrated only by our lantern, but as we continued deeper, my eyes began to adjust to the gloom.

When the lantern would begin to flicker, Morrigan or Wynne would use magic to light the area. We would set up camp, eat a quick meal and take turns keeping watch.

After five lanterns, travel had become more difficult. The road was crumbling and there was debris that we had to either go around or climb over. We had also begun encountering more and more darkspawn. Alistair was better than I at determining where they were and I found the constant buzzing to be especially annoying. It seemed the farther in we went the louder it got. The nightmares were consistently growing worse as well. I was starting to think that this was a bad idea.

We stopped to rest at the ruins of a Thaig. We set up camp inside the remains of an old building, giving us more security for sleeping. It was my turn for first watch and I sat on the stone steps, Dagger beside me. I scratched his head idly thinking about how I missed the sky, the sun, the wind and the trees. It was depressing to have the same scenery around all the time, this brownish, reddish rock or slate gray stone that made you feel that you were going nowhere.

I heard a noise behind me and looked around to see Alistair coming out to sit with me. He had one hand behind his back and was acting nervous.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Do you know what this is?" he said and handed me a red rose.

I looked at him curiously and teased, "Your new favorite weapon?"

He smiled and said, "Yes! Watch as I thrash our enemies with its wicked thorns." We both laughed and he said, "I found it in Redcliffe and I thought how beautiful it was..." he paused and became nervous again. "It reminds me of you."

I almost teased him again, but his face was so earnest, I didn't have the heart. "Thank you. That's very kind." I tried to hand back the rose but he pushed it back towards me.

"I want you to keep it," he said.

"Oh, how did you know?" I asked softly.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"My favorite place at home was in my mother's rose garden. That's where I felt the most peaceful, sitting among the soft petals and fragrant blooms. I was just sitting here, missing all that." I looked at him, "Thank you so much." I leaned into him and we kissed. He wrapped his arms around me and we snuggled close for the rest of the watch.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

We traveled through the ruins of the Deep Roads for two more lanterns before we finally started to see signs for Cariden's Cross. The darkspawn were numerous in this area and our travel was slowed by the constant battles. The buzzing in my head was so strong that I had a terrible headache. We decided to rest after a particularly hard fought battle in an area sheltered by fallen rock. Wynne and Morrigan had healed everyone and were resting, Leliana and Zevran were talking quietly, Ohgren and Alistair were trying to talk to Sten and Dagger was laying at my feet as I sat quietly.

I started to hear the same type of growling noises in my head that I had heard in my dreams. I sounded as though a low murmuring sound beckoning me. I looked around and saw a crevice into the wall of the rock. I got up and walked quietly, motioning to Dagger to stay, as I got closer the sound in my head grew louder. I crawled through the crevice and emerged onto a cliff that overlooked a deep gorge. At the bottom of the gorge was an army of darkspawn. It was so massive in numbers that it looked like one seething beast. I heard a low rumble and the dragon from my nightmares appeared on a rocky ridge across from me. I felt a tug on my arm and looked to see Zevran motioning for me to come back.

I backed up and when I emerged from the crevice, Zevran was standing with his arms crossed, tapping his foot. "What are you trying to do?" he asked crossly.

"I don't know," I said meekly. "I felt like something was pulling me there."

Zevran grabbed me and said, "Do not do that! Do not go off on your own! You need to realize how important you are," he hesitated and added quietly, "especially to me."

"I didn't know..." I couldn't finish. Zevran wrapped his arms around me, pulled me tight to him and kissed me. I responded at first then gently pushed away. He let go watching me curiously. "I'm sorry Zev, " I began.

He held up a hand. "It is alright, now is not the right time," he smiled at me. "Not to worry, my lady. I will respect your wishes." He went back to join the others.

I stood for a moment lost in thought before I walked back to where everyone was resting. Alistair got up and stood next me, "What was that about?"

I shrugged, "I'm not sure, but I saw the horde and the archdemon."

"Where?" he exclaimed.

"Through that crevice," I pointed. "I felt it calling me. Didn't you?"

"No," he said, looking at me worriedly. "I only sense that there are a lot of darkspawn far off in that direction."

"Yes, they are far away, deep in a gorge, but they are gathering for an attack," I said.

Alistair took my hands, "Maybe because you joined during the Blight, you are more sensitive to their presence. Don't take any more chances by going off on your own."

I nodded, "That's what Zev was saying."

He looked down at our hands and said softly, "I know I'm not as flamboyant as that assassin..."

I interrupted him, "This is not the time or place for this. Let's find this paragon and get out of these depressing Deep Roads." I squeezed his hands tightly before I let them go.

...

We reached Cariden's Cross and searched the area . There was evidence of a recent campsite and Ohgren was certain that this was the correct place. We went further into Cariden's Cross looking for evidence of Branka's family. As we reached the other side of the settlement, Dagger began acting strange and as we followed him, there was an odd smell coming from the ruins of a building. Entering, we found several dead dwarves, they all had signs that they had been ravaged by some animal.

"This is Branka's family crest. By the stone, what has happened here?" Ohgren asked gruffly.

"Look!" Zevran pointed to a tunnel ahead. A figure was receding into it.

We followed the tunnel and started to hear strange mumbling sounds. Weapons drawn, we moved forward cautiously. The sounds became louder until finally we saw a dwarven woman kneeling by some candles placed around a rock pile. She started when she heard us approaching.

"You...should not be...here..." she said slowly. Every word seemed to be hard to say.

"Hespeth?" Ohgren asked. "Is that you?"

She looked at Ohgren and in the light you could see she was covered in open sores. Her eyes were glazed and she stood hunched over. She was dirty and her clothes were torn.

"Is that Blight sickness?" Zevran asked.

"I've seen Blight sickness, but this is worse than that," Alistair said.

"You...must...leave!...Branka..." she slowly said.

"Branka! What about her!" Ohgren interrupted. He grabbed Hespeth and shook her. "Tell me!"

"Ohgren! Let her go." I said, putting my hand on his arm. "She's doing the best she can."

"Branka...under broodmother's...spell" she said, "all...were...under...until dead...all..." she paused, struggling to speak. "Me...all that's...left."

"What is a broodmother?" Leliana asked.

"We need to find Branka!" Ohgren insisted. "Hespeth please!"

She looked at Ohgren and said, "Too...late...go...before you too..."

A loud sound that was a cross between a growl and a roar came from the cavern beyond Hespeth. She hung her head and went toward the cavern. We followed cautiously behind her.

The tunnel opened into a small cavern. Torches along one wall illuminated it. A campsite with a tent and fire pit were off to one side of the cave. Hespeth had continued through the cave toward another tunnel. The awful sounds were coming from that direction. We spread out , continuing to follow Hespeth.

"What are you doing here?" Another female dwarf, this one dressed in full battle armor, appeared from the tent. This dwarf did not seem to be suffering from the Blight disease.

"Branka!" Ohgren yelled and rushed forward.

"Wait Ohgren!" I shouted after him, but it was too late.

"Who are these...Ohgren? What in sod are you doing here?" She looked at him and then at the rest of us. "What do you want?"

"Come back with me, Branka," Ohgren pleaded. "Come back to Orzammar."

"No. I cannot leave. The broodmother needs me," she said.

"What is the broodmother?" I asked.

"She is the mother of many. She cannot leave her children, so she needs me to protect her and needs Hespeth to feed her," Branka said.

"What in sod are you talking about?" Ohgren said angrily. "You are a paragon, your city needs you."

"For what!" she shouted. "Politics? No. I will not go back."

"I think she is under a spell," Morrigan said. "I can feel dark magic involved here."

"Great," Alistair murmured.

"Can we counter it, Morrigan?" I asked.

"We need to identify the source," she responded.

I thought a moment then said, "Can we talk to the broodmother, Branka?"

"No. You don't want to talk. I can tell. You want to kill her," she said and raised her axe.

While we had been talking, Ohgren had crept behind Branka and he took that moment to hit her on the head, knocking her out.

"We need to find the source of the magic holding her here." Wynne said.

We made our way to the tunnel Hespeth had gone into. Cautiously we went through it into another cavern, also lit with torches. At the back of this cavern loomed the most hideous creation I had ever seen. The broodmother was large, towering to almost the top of the cavern. Her grotesque body resembled a large grub with breasts at each of its segments. These segments each had a pair of tentacles that waved about and her body ended in what appeared to be a large egg laying structure. Clutched in one of the tentacles was a lifeless Hespeth. There was an bitter, putrid smell of death in the cavern that was almost overpowering.

The broodmother looked at us with hatred in her glazed eyes. She shrieked and newly hatched darkspawn began pouring into the cavern from alcoves all around. Raising my sword and shield, I began battling these enemies. The newborns weren't very strong yet and went down quickly, but there were a lot of them.

I worked my way closer to the broodmother, trying to formulate a strategy. Her tentacles whipped around and one hit me, throwing me back several feet and knocking the wind out of me. I got up and charged in again slashing at the tentacle, attempting to clear a way to the broodmother's body. I cut and hacked at the tentacle and soon it lay severed, motionless on the sandy floor. I looked around to get my bearings and saw Alistair had been grabbed by another of her tentacles. I charged, and began to bash the writhing appendage with my shield. Alistair was thrown free and I was able to hack this tentacle off as well. I saw a clear path to the broodmother's body and ran full force, jumping and thrusting with my blade at the same time. I landed on one of her segments driving my sword into her gelatinous flesh. She screamed in pain and swung a tentacle at me. I dodged and clambered up her segments, driving my sword into her foul body every chance I got. She screamed with each wound and tried unsuccessfully to dislodge me. I reached her head, gathered all of my might, and plunged my sword into her throat. Her whole body shuddered and the tentacles finally stopped waving, dropping to the ground. I pulled out my sword, climbed down, and killed the last of the darkspawn children that were attacking me.

I spotted Alistair sprawled against a rock where he had been thrown. I rushed over, panic racing through my heart. He moaned just as I reached him and rolled up into a sitting position. I removed his helm and I could see blood running down his face from a wound on his head. "Can you stand?" I asked him.

He nodded then said, "Oh, bad idea. Ow, my head hurts. Did we win?"

"I think so. Let's get out of here though." I said.

I tried to help him up, but realized that I had no strength left. He got to his feet on his own and we staggered over towards the tunnel. Zevran was helping Leliana, who was limping pretty badly. Wynne and Morrigan were casting healing spells but looked exhausted. I looked around and spotted Ohgren running for the tunnel, his mind obviously on Branka. I couldn't find Sten. Panic rose in my throat as I looked around at the mass of dead bodies, finally spotting him crouching near one of the tentacles.

I rushed over to see if he was okay and that was when I saw Dagger. He had been crushed by one of the tentacles. Sten was crouched over him. I rushed to him and ran my hand on his lifeless body. Tears were streaming down my face and I turned to Sten, "Please help me. I can't just leave him here."

Sten nodded. He picked up Dagger and carried him while I walked alongside. My companions watched quietly and followed as we went back through the tunnel to the first cavern. Ohgren was talking to Branka and only glanced at us as we entered. I started to gather rocks to make a platform. I wasn't aware that the others who were helping. My mind seemed to have shut down. Sten placed Dagger on top of the makeshift platform and I grabbed one of the torches. I walked up to the stones and looked around at my companions who were watching me. "Dagger has been with me for over ten years. He was always there for me, even when I didn't realize I needed him." Grief overwhelmed me and sobbing I said, "I'll miss you, boy," and I put the torch on his body. Stepping back, I watched as the flames engulfed the dog in orange hues. Each of my friends in turn, added a torch to the pyre and gave me a hug.

I stood watching the flames, silent until the last flicker. I wiped my eyes, took three deep breaths to clear my emotions and said, "Ohgren. Is Branka alright?"

"Yes, she doesn't seem to remember what happened though," he responded.

"Is there anyone who cannot travel?" I asked, looking around the group. Everyone shook their heads no. "Let's go back to Cariden's Cross and stay in one of the buildings we saw." I turned and started walking slowly back the way we had come.

Alistair and Zevran walked on either side of me and I could feel the somber mood of the group. It wasn't fair, I thought. I needed to be alone to digest this new bout of grief but I also needed to be strong to encourage my group to be ready to battle our way back to Orzammar.

...

I stood on the steps of the building we were camping in. Sten was standing beside me. He turned and said, a note of sadness in his voice, "I shall miss him."

I nodded sadly, "He liked you very much."

He paused a moment, looking at me. "I have been mistaken."

"About what?" I asked, curious.

"You are a soldier worthy to stand among the Beresaad. I did not think so when we first met," he replied.

"What made you change your mind?" I asked, flattered.

"You did," he stated simply. He paused again, then looked me in the eyes and said. "I'll take first watch. You need rest, Kadan."

I looked at him curiously, nodded and entered the building.

...

The trip back to Orzammar took longer than the trip out. Wynne and Morrigan had healed us the best that magic would allow, but it would now take time for our various wounds to be healed completely. Leliana had a bad wound on her leg but refused Sten's offer to carry her. Branka was still confused and dazed from whatever spell she had been under. Alistair was nursing cracked ribs, and Zevran and I were covered in cuts and bruises.

We fell into a routine at camp; Sten taking first watch, Alistair and I taking second. The buzzing lessened as we traveled closer to Orzammar, but the nightmares seemed to be getting worse. We hurried, only resting when we had to. We battled when we had to, but on the whole we tried to avoid any darkspawn. By the time we arrived back at Orzammar, most of our injuries were fully healed, but we were exhausted.

Ohgren left with Branka for their home. I was looking forward to sleeping in the inn. Leliana, Wynn, Morrigan, and I would share one room, while Alistair, Zevran and Sten shared another. I settled into the bed and quickly fell asleep.

I woke with a start, the dragon's roar still shuddering through me. I looked around the room. Leliana looked over at me. "Are you alright?" she asked.

"Yes," I said rubbing the sleep from my eyes. "Where's Wynne?"

"She left for the tavern just a moment ago. I am almost finished packing. Do you want me to wait for you?" she asked.

"No. You go on ahead. I'll be there shortly." I got up and began to put on my armor.

Leliana hesitated a minute, then picked up her pack and left the room.

I packed quickly and left the room to go to the tavern. I found everyone already sitting at a table eating a meal. I hadn't realized how hungry I was and soon I was on my second plate of some kind of dwarven meat.

Ohgren approached just as I was finishing and said, "Thank you for helping me, Wardens. Branka has chosen to support Prince Behlan, or should I say King Behlan. He will see you whenever you are ready. Just go to the assembly."

I nodded to Ohgren and rose. I wanted out of Orzammar badly. I needed some fresh air and sunshine. We hurried to the assembly where King Behlan agreed to uphold the treaty. We left the assembly and met up with Bodahn and Sandal in the marketplace where we replenished our supplies.

"We are going back to Denerim, Bodahn," I said. "You are welcome to come with us. If not, it's been a pleasure traveling with you."

Bodahn looked at me and said, "Wynne told me about your loss in the Deep Roads and I am truly sorry." He hesitated, then said resolutely, "I told you the stone put me on this path. I will see it through, just say when you are ready."

"Thank you for your kind words. I am ready to leave now." I said, "I need to see some trees."

We packed Bodahn's cart and departed from Orzammar. I stopped for a moment when we walked out of the great stone entrance doors and took a deep breath of the fresh mountain air. The sky was a bright blue with wispy white clouds floating along. I felt revitalized by the sight. Smiling, I started on a path that would lead us to the Imperial Highway and ultimately to Denerim.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

The bright sun glittered off the snow as we walked down the mountain. Travel was much easier going down than it had been going up. Eventually the snow thinned out and the air grew warmer. Rocky outcroppings and sparse trees soon evolved into denser forests and grassy meadows. We reached the Imperial Highway later that day and found a secluded spot amongst the trees to set up camp. After I had set up my tent I wandered a short way into the woods and found a babbling brook. I sat down and took off my boots to put my feet in the cold water.

"Isn't that water too cold?" Alistair asked as he approached.

"Yes it is a bit chilly, but it feels good too," I said, trying to keep my teeth from chattering.

"Sure it does," he said skeptically, then he sat down. "Are you alright?" he asked quietly.

"Yes, why?" I asked.

"I.." he hesitated, "I'm sorry about Dagger. I know how much he meant to you."

"Thank you." I said sadly, thinking about how much I missed his furry presence. "I don't have time for my grief, I need to concentrate on defeating the archdemon."

"Yes, then we'll take some time off from fighting and go swimming in a really warm lake somewhere," he said wistfully.

"With a picnic lunch," I added. "That sounds like fun." I said, sighing.

...

The next day the road began to level out and we passed the northern edge of Lake Calenhad. As the road turned eastward, I began to feel the weight of responsibility lift a little. We were almost done, I thought. This long journey to gather an army to face the archdemon was almost complete. As night fell, the road wound through a thick wood and we were about to set up camp when we were ambushed by a group of armed men.

"And here I was hoping to find you dead, Zevran," a thick Antivan voice said. The owner of the voice was an elf with his long braided blond hair and brilliant green eyes.

"Not dead yet, Taliesen. Why are you here?" Zevran responded in his usual smooth voice.

"You did not fulfill your contract. I have been sent to finish the job," Taliesen said. "Help me and I will tell Master Ignacio anything you want."

Everyone had drawn their weapons and I looked at Zevran who returned my gaze with a smile.

"No. I am afraid that you will fail as well," he said turning back to the other elf. "I am sorry it has come to this. You were my friend and more." Moving quickly, Zevran attacked Taliesen.

The men with Taliesen attacked as well and soon I was busy fighting a very skilled opponent. This man was dressed in light leather armor and moved quickly. He handled his dual blades expertly, but he was predictable. He followed a set pattern and I soon was able to disarm and kill him. I looked around and rushed to Alistair's aid. He was having a bit of trouble pitting his great sword against another dual weapon fighter. I guarded his back allowing him to focus on his swings and soon his opponent was dead too. We charged another opponent, I blocked his attack while Alistair swung his sword, killing him. Looking around I could see all our opponents were vanquished.

I walked over to Zevran who was searching Taliesen's body. "Were they coming for you?" I asked him quietly.

He stood up and handed a parchment to me. I unfolded it and found a bounty notice with my name on it.

"Great," Alistair complained, looking over my shoulder. "Why would Loghain want to kill you?"

"Perhaps because my Lady's family is a great influence on the other nobles," Zevran offered. "If she shows up and tells them what really happened at Ostagar..."

"They'll believe her due to her nobility," Alistair finished.

"This changes nothing," I said stubbornly.

"Oh yes it does. I'm not letting you out of my sight!" Alistair declared.

"Neither am I!" Zevran added, smiling.

"Great," I muttered. "Just what I needed."

We walked a little further down the road and set up camp for the night in a copse of trees that sheltered us from sight of the road.

...

We stayed off of the highway the rest of the way to Denerim to avoid any other altercations and we reached the city at dusk. I was surprised when even Morrigan stayed close as we worked our way through the back alleys of the marketplace to Arl Eamon's estate.

One servant hurried to get the Arl as another led us into the great hall. Eamon's Denerim estate was decorated in the same fashion as his home in Redcliffe. Lady Isolde had taken great pains to make the estate look as rich and lush as possible. Alistair began looking around and mumbling about the various changes he noticed since he had been there as a child.

Arl Eamon and Teagan entered the hall with a soldier following behind. There was something familiar about the man. He had dark hair and a full dark beard, his brown eyes sparkled when they saw me.

"Fergus!" I shouted dropping all decorum as I rushed up and threw myself into his arms. We hugged tightly for a moment. When I stepped back I looked him over. "You look older."

"And you look like you've gotten yourself in the middle of things, again," he smiled.

I laughed then looked at him gravely, "We have a lot to talk about."

"Don't I know it, pup," he said. I grinned at his use of father's nickname for me.

"You two will have plenty of time to catch up," Arl Eamon said, smiling. "The landsmeet has been called and should commence five days hence. Scouts have reported large groups of darkspawn converging in the Wilds. They appear to be massing for a large scale attack."

"We have agreements from the Dalish, the Circle of Magi and the dwarves of Orzammar promising aid against the Blight," I said, regaining my noble composure.

"What we need to do is find out how the nobles stand before the landsmeet begins. We need to garner as much support as possible," Eamon said.

"What rumors are circulating?" I asked.

"The most popular one is that I want the throne," Eamon laughed. "But, I want to see where the nobles stand if an heir to the throne was revealed."

"Oh, we're back to that again are we?" Alistair asked sarcastically.

"Well, I am very good at rumor control," Zevran said. "I shall head out immediately and start the rumors flying and see what I can find out."

"Just be careful," I said. "We don't want Loghain to add Alistair to his contract with the Crows."

"What contract?" Eamon asked worriedly.

"The Antivan Crows have a contract to kill Lady Cousland," Zevran stated, his eyes flashing. "But, they have been unsuccessful. Twice."

"Assassins have been after you, sister?" Fergus asked, alarmed.

"Yes, but I'm still here," I replied.

"That is interesting. Perhaps Loghain is not as confident as we thought," Eamon said and looked at me. "It is late and you must be hungry and tired. We can strategize more tomorrow. I'll have the chef cook you a meal and the servants will prepare rooms ready."

We made our way to the dining hall. Fergus and I walked arm in arm. It felt wonderful to have my big brother back. Perhaps things would start working out.

...

I had finished eating and was sipping on my ale. I sat watching my brother and I couldn't wipe away the huge grin that covered my face. Fergus looked at me and said, "You have changed a bit, little sister. Arl Eamon said you are a Grey Warden now," he hesitated., "You don't have to give me details if it's difficult to talk about, but what happened?"

I frowned and said, "Short story is that after you left, Arl Howe attacked us. His troops killed everyone in the castle. I only escaped because Duncan was there. I'm sorry about Oriana and Oren." Fergus looked at me with tears in his eyes. I said, "I have the Cousland sword. I will give it to you after we eat, it is yours."

"No," he said composing himself. "You should keep it and continue to use it. Arl Eamon said you have been gathering armies for the battle against the archdemon?"

"Yes, I feel like I've been all over Ferelden, but I want to hear what happened with you first," I said.

"The troupe I was leading killed a lot of darkspawn in the Wilds. When they stopped coming we headed back to Ostagar. We saw the massacre there and I knew something had gone terribly wrong. I found King Cailen's body and we were able to give him a proper send off. We tried to burn or bury the bodies, but it was a gruesome task. Then the darkspawn returned. I guided our group to Lothering, and when I heard what Loghain had been telling everyone and decided I had to do something. I took our troupe around the perimeter of the Wilds and the Brecilian forest, recruiting as many men as possible to fight, and killing as many darkspawn as we could. About a week ago, we ran into some men who were heading to Denerim for the Landsmeet, so I brought my small army here as well. I didn't know about Highever until I got here," he said.

"I knew you would be alive," I said, suddenly yawning.

"You need to get some rest. I will talk to you in the morning, pup," he said smiling.

"Can I ask something?" Alistair put in. "Why do you call her pup?"

Fergus and I burst out laughing. Fergus said, "That was father's nickname for Felicia. As soon as she was able to walk, she would follow me everywhere, like a puppy. So father started calling her, pup."

My friends shared in the laughter and I stood, glad that the evening had ended on a happy note. I hugged Fergus fiercely. "Good night brother."

...

I woke with the dragon's roar still ringing in my ears and the overwhelming sense that it was calling to me. It was early morning, I could see the pink of the dawning sun out my window. One of the servants had laid out a very pretty yellow dress for me. I hesitated, looking for my armor. Not finding it, I put the dress on and brushed out my hair, braiding it to hang down my back. I left my room and retraced my steps to the dining hall.

Entering, I saw Fergus, Alistair, Teagan and Eamon huddled at one end of the table. They were looking at a map and I heard Eamon say, "If the last report is true, the horde is headed for Denerim and will be here in ten days."

"That doesn't leave much time after the Landsmeet. We will have to make troop movements before we know if we can win the support," Teagan said.

"Good morning." I said and curtseyed.

The men stood up, gawking, and Fergus gave me a quick hug. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you," I said hugging him back. As we all sat down I asked, "Did I hear you say that the horde will be here soon?"

Eamon responded, "Yes, and the reports included a sighting of a large dragon."

"The archdemon," Alistair said somberly.

The door opened and Zevran joined us, smiling broadly.

"You have news, don't you?" I asked him, amused at his obvious pleasure.

Zevran sat down and put his boots on the table. "Well. It appears your Loghain is having a bit of trouble with his daughter. She has been overheard disagreeing with him, loudly," he said. "Also, many of the nobles have sons missing. The rumor is that your Howe fellow is kidnapping them as leverage to gain their parent's cooperation."

Alistair shoved Zevran's feet off the table and said through gritted teeth, "Show some manners!"

"This sounds like the work of a desperate man," Eamon said gravely

"I also planted the fact that we have a bastard prince," he looked at Alistair slyly. "I did not mention a name, just that he bore a distinct resemblance to King Cailen."

"Good," Eamon said. "That should get some response. Can you listen for more?"

"Certainly," Zevran replied.

A servant came in and said, "I'm sorry to interrupt Arl, but the Queen's servant is requesting an audience with you."

Eamon raised his eyebrows, "I will go meet with her."

Eamon left the room and Alistair glared at Zevran. "We are not out in the wilderness now. Show some respect."

Zevran just glared back at Alistair for a moment and then broke out into a grin. "What can I say? I am a rogue," and he laughed heartily.

Alistair's struggled to hold his glare, then he looked at me with a 'help' expression. I shrugged.

Eamon returned followed by a small elven woman. She had short blonde hair and was dressed in simple clothing. She seemed very distraught.

"This is Erlina, the Queen Anora's handmaiden. The Queen has been taken prisoner by Arl Howe," Eamon announced.

I gasped in shock and looked at the others. They too were surprised by this announcement. "But, Howe is working with Loghain; why would he kidnap his ally's daughter?" I asked.

"She doesn't agree with her father. She's afraid that he is behind this," Erlina sobbed. "Please, you must rescue her."

"If it feels like a trap, looks like a trap..." Zevran said, looking at me worriedly.

"Even if this is a set up, we have to do something," Teagan said. "It is the Queen requesting help, after all."

"If she is truly questioning her father she may turn out to be an ally," Eamon said.

I looked at the table, thinking. Queen Anora was a very beautiful woman, but she was power hungry. It had been well known that she could get Cailen to do anything she wanted, but her influence had been starting to lessen. She and Cailen were going on five years of marriage with no heirs. The gossip was that Cailen might have to replace her. Finally I said, "I will take Zevran and Leliana and we will go get the Queen."

"No!" shouted Alistair. "If you're going, I'm going."

"Not this time. If this is a set up, it is to catch Eamon, Teagan or you to stop the Landsmeet." I said, trying to reason with him.

"But, you're putting yourself in danger!" Fergus exclaimed.

"No more so than I already have been. Besides, Leliana, Zevran and I make a good team." I spoke with a finality that put an end to the debate. "Now, we just need to figure out the best way into Howe's estate."

"Servants come and go. We should dress as servants and just walk in, no?" Zevran suggested.

Erlina looked at us gratefully, "I can show you where she is."

"Let me tell Leliana, we'll change into servants' clothing and meet you here to finalize our plans," I said. As I left the dining hall, Alistair caught up to me.

"Are you sure about this?" Alistair asked anxiously, and tugged on my arm to stop me.

"Yes, I think so. I am sure that you need to stay here, out of sight and safe," I said. "Zevran said he was very successful in getting the rumor started about you. This may be a result of that ,and if so, we can't afford to have you leave the estate."

"But, Felicia..." he pouted. I couldn't help myself, I reached up and kissed him, then hurried to the study where a servant had last seen Leliana.

I found Leliana and quickly informed her of the plan. She agreed and we hurried back to the dining hall. Erlina was waiting for us and there were three servant outfits for us. Zevran, Leliana and I took the outfits and changed quickly. Zevran gave me two short daggers with scabbards that tied to my legs. Both he and Leliana were very skilled with daggers, but I was hoping we wouldn't have to use them.

Fergus came into the room and pulled me aside. "Felicia. I don't like this. I just found you and I don't want anything to happen to you!"

"Please, don't worry," I said. "I need you to stay safe. You're the Teyrn of Highever now. If Howe and Loghain don't know you're alive, it is even more important to keep you hidden."

"I don't like staying out of the action!" Fergus said firmly.

"I know, but if that isn't enough of a reason for you to stay here then, I need you to keep Alistair safe. If all goes well, he will be our King," I paused and added, "both of you are too important to me to risk."

Fergus looked at me closely then gave me a fierce hug. "Please, be careful."

I nodded and hugged him back. I looked at Leliana and Zevran, they were both ready to leave, so we followed Erlina out of the estate.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Arl Renden Howe had taken up residence in the Arl of Denerim's estate. There were a lot of angry people in the courtyard in front of the main gate shouting and blocking the way in. Erlina whispered to us that the citizens of Denerim were not happy with the way Howe ran things and that protests often happened. We slipped around the crowd and worked our way to the servants' entrance.

Erlina led us through the servants' areas, down a carpeted hallway to a plain door. She knocked and said, "My lady?"

"Erlina? Did you bring help?" was the muffled reply.

"Yes. The Grey Warden and two of her companions," she said.

"Thank you for coming Warden, but there is a complication. Howe's mage enchanted the door to prevent lock picking," she said.

"I guess we need the mage to break the spell?" I asked.

"Yes. He never leaves Howe's side. They should be somewhere in the estate," Anora responded.

"Sit tight, your highness, we'll be back." I turned to Erlina. "Stay here. We'll find a way to get the Queen out."

Leliana asked, "What are we going to do?"

"Find Howe and his mage," I said firmly. "Let's go."

I had been to this estate several times in the past, I decided to start in the Arl's private quarters and work our way back toward the room Anora was being kept in. My directional memory aided me in finding our destination. I approached cautiously with Leliana and Zevran a step behind me. We carried towels and folded bed sheets to make ourselves look like servants carrying out routine chores. I spotted a door ajar behind a large desk in the study. As I opened it, there were stairs that led downwards towards another room. Carefully we descended listening for any voices. The room we entered at the bottom of the stairs had cells lining one wall. A guard stood in front of one occupied cell, he spotted us and said, "What are you..."

He didn't have a chance to finish. The prisoner reached through the bars and grabbed the guard in a strangle hold. The guard went limp and the prisoner took the keys from the guard's belt. He then opened the door to his cell and stepped out. "Thank you, my friends, that was a timely arrival." He was tall with dark hair. He had nothing on but his small clothes and there were fresh wounds all over his body.

"Who are you?" I asked as he opened a chest nearby.

"I am Riordan, a Grey Warden from Orlais," he said as he strapped on a suit of leather armor.

"I am Felicia, also a Grey Warden. How were you get captured?" I asked, watching him adjust his boots.

"I was foolish enough to believe that this man, Howe, actually wanted to talk to me," he replied.

"Do you know where Arl Eamon's estate is?" I asked him.

"Yes," he replied. "I know of Arl Eamon."

"Go there carefully. The way should be safe if you exit through the servants' entrance. When you get to Eamon's estate, you will find friends of mine there who can heal you. Tell them that Felicia sent you and they can update you what's been happening." I said. "Do you know where Howe is?"

"Yes. He is through that door... Thank you," he said and began ascending the stairs.

I went up to the door and put my ear against it. I could hear vague unidentifiable sounds coming from the room. I looked at Zev and Leli- they had both drawn their daggers. I readied my own and we went through the door.

What met my eyes was unbelievable. Howe had erected a makeshift torture chamber in the dungeon of the estate. A young man covered in open wounds was chained to a wall, sobbing. I went over and motioned to Zev. He picked the locks on the chains and we helped the poor man down.

"Can you walk?" I asked.

"I...I don't know," he said, trembling. "Why did it take father so long to send someone?"

"I'm sorry, but your father didn't send me. I am Felicia, a Grey Warden. We are trying to locate Howe and his mage," I replied softly.

"Then father doesn't know..." The young man said, sounding a little stronger. "Grey Warden? Howe is in the next room, but he's coming back soon. I've got to get out of here."

"Leliana, can you help him?" I asked, looking at her.

"Yes, but..." she started, I shook my head.

"No time. Get him out of here. Zev and I can handle this," I said firmly.

She nodded unhappily and helped the young man up. They left the room the way we came in, meanwhile Zev and I walked over to another door and opened it slowly.

The next room was as bad as the previous one. An unconscious man hung chained to a support column, ragged lash wounds covering his back. A brutish man turned as we entered and snapped the whip. Howe and a mage were standing off to one side, apparently watching the beating.

Zevran moved quickly and attacked the whip wielder. I maneuvered my way toward the mage. I knew he had to go down quickly. I slashed with my dagger at his hands as he started to form a spell. He shrieked out as I cut him and Howe grabbed a mace covered in spikes from a stand in the corner. He shouted as he swung the mace, trying to hit me. The mage backed up and Zevran grabbed him from behind and slit his throat. I dodged as Howe wildly swung the mace again.

Suddenly he recognized me and hissed, "You! How dare you!" and he took at step back.

"He's mine, Zev!" I shouted and brandished the daggers at him.

He repositioned himself and taunted me, "Oh look, baby Cousland is all grown up and playing the man." He swung and I lashed out at the same time. He missed, but I scored a hit on his upper arm.

Gritting his teeth, he said, "You'll pay for that!" and started to swing the mace again.

I had braced myself for his attack, preparing to go for the opening that he would leave, but instead of swinging low like I thought he would, he brought the mace around and connected with my left side. I felt acute pain as the spikes pierced into me and I was thrown off balance. He had swung so hard that he had put himself off balance. Ignoring the pain, I threw myself at him, knocking him to the floor and I put my dagger to his throat.

"Surrender!" I said, gasping for breath.

"Never!" he said defiantly. "I deserved more." He reached up, pulled my hand and slit his own throat.

I looked at him in shock, too many thoughts racing through my head. As I got up on shaky legs, Zev came over and searched for the key to the Queen's room, then he handed me a poultice and some cloth ripped from the mage's robe to wrap around my bleeding middle. We went over to the unconscious man. Zev unlocked his manacles and I helped him to the floor. He opened his eyes and weakly said, "Who are you?"

I suddenly recognized him and said, "Vaughn, it's Felicia Cousland. Can you get up?"

"Felicia?" he asked and attempted to stand. "I think I need a healer."

I watched him as he gained his balance then said to Zevran, "Come on. Let's get the Queen and get out of here."

...

We paused in Howe's room to find a shirt and trousers for Vaughn. Zev supported Vaughn as we worked our way back to the Queen. Erlina watched for guards, as Zev unlocked the door. Anora walked out dressed in a hooded robe. She glanced at us and we all headed towards the servants' quarters as quickly as we could. As we emerged outdoors, we were greeted by a woman knight and a dozen soldiers who were waiting for us.

"You are under arrest for the murder of Arl Howe!" the knight exclaimed.

"It was a trap," Zevran murmured into my ear.

"I am here to escort this woman, nothing more," I said, my side starting to ache.

"Oh, and who is this woman?" the knight asked as she went up to Anora and threw back her hood.

Murmurs of 'The Queen' resounded and the knight dropped to one knee. "Your majesty."

"Ser Cauthrien. Arrest this woman. She tried to kidnap me!" and Anora pulled back up her hood and ran off with Erlina right behind her.

"I will kill her!" Zevran said, seething. I looked at him surprised, I had never seen him this angry.

The soldiers raised their weapons. I dropped my daggers on the ground and shouted, "Wait! I will surrender, just let the elf and the wounded man go free."

Zev protested, "No! I'm not leaving you!"

"Yes, you are! You have to make sure the boys don't go out to play." I said, hoping he would understand that I didn't want Alistair or Fergus trying to rescue me.

Zevran looked at me for a moment, "Yes, my lady. I will see to it," he said reluctantly and bowed.

Two soldiers came up and roughly grabbed my arms. "Do you know who I am?" I spat, standing as regally as I knew how. "I am Lady Felicia Cousland and I demand to be treated as such."

The soldiers back off, surprised by my outburst. They still surrounded me, but did not touch me as they marched me away from the estate. I could barely see Zevran as he darted away into the crowd that was straining to find out who the prisoner was.

I felt myself growing weaker as we crossed the bridge over the Denerim River into Fort Drakon. The fort was built as a prison to be both impenetrable and inescapable. We passed through the outer stone walls and the soldiers handed me over to the prison guards. Ser Cauthrien said something to one of the guards, who burst out laughing, then she and her soldiers left.

The prison guards were much rougher than the soldiers, but I was too weak to protest. I was taken up several flights of stairs and finally through double locked gates into a circular room. There were no windows in this bleak room. The darkness was held back only by the flickering lights of torches around a center column. Cells lined the walls and surrounding the center column were various devices used for torture. I was stripped down to my small clothes. The wound on my side started to bleed freely and I had to clench my jaws tightly when my arms were roughly pulled above my head and locked into manacles. My naked feet barely reached the floor. I lost track of time as I hung there fading in and out of consciousness.

I became aware of someone talking. I opened my eyes and saw movement off to one side, then Loghain stepped in front of me.

"Ah, you're awake," he sneered. "It looks like Renden got in a good one before you killed him."

I bit the inside of my cheek. I was not going to give this traitor the satisfaction of taunting me into talking.

"I had you brought here so we could have a nice chat," he said. "I only have one question. Answer it and then you can go back to playing warden."

I refused to look at him and steeled myself for whatever he was planning. I just kept thinking, Alistair and Fergus are safe as long as I don't talk.

He continued, "I've heard rumors that Eamon has found a royal bastard. This can't be true. I was Meric's best friend and he never told me about any dalliances. The question then is: who is this false bastard?" He had been pacing, but stopped in front of me and put his hand on my chin, forcing me to look at him.

If I could have summoned up any saliva, I would have spat in his face, but unfortunately my mouth was dry, so I had to be content with glaring.

He dropped his hand and nodded to someone behind me. I heard the whip crack and searing pain shot through my back.

"You know, I had really hoped that Renden's attack in Highever would have gotten rid of that blasted Warden Duncan. Then you show up alive in Ostagar. Cailen was so excited about you being there..." he paused a moment.

"I see," he said, thinking, "That's why he sent you to the tower, he thought he was protecting you," he watched me intently.

He was trying to bait me into talking and I was working hard to deny him any satisfaction.

"So stubborn," he nodded again, and again the whip cracked and a bolt of pain shot through me. "Felicia," he said stroking my hair, "It isn't worth it. Join me and I'll give you Highever and anything else your little heart desires."

I stubbornly held onto my resolve, as the whip cracked yet again. My eyes began to tear from the pain and my jaw was sore from clenching it. The whip cracked again and then again. A small groan escaped my lips and Loghain pounced like a cat. "We can stop this whole thing if you just tell me who Eamon is putting forward." He looked at me angrily and slapped my face hard. I felt my lip crack and the coppery taste of blood filled my mouth. I spit it out at him and he said sadly, "Well, I did try to reason with you. Goodbye Felicia Cousland." I could hear him whispering to the guard and then the big double locks opening and closing. The whip began to crack again and again as I lost consciousness.

...

I slowly opened my eyes. I was still hanging manacled and my entire body ached. The guard was sleeping in a chair, with his feet on the table. The sound of the double locks woke him. He grabbed his whip and made his way behind me. I couldn't see what was happening but I heard the guard say, "Who are..." and then the sounds of fighting.

"Andraste's grace!" Leliana exclaimed. "Quickly Zev."

Leli supported me while Zev picked the locks on the manacles. Leli quickly applied some poultices she had brought and threw her cloak around me. Sten was standing guard at the gate.

Sten and Zevran led the way with Leliana helping me along. The fort was filling with smoke and it was hard to see. Guards were running everywhere trying to find the source. Zev smiled at me and said, "Smoke bombs," as we hurried.

Although the commotion occupied most of the guards, we were still attacked by others. Sten and Zevran could handle the few that challenged us as we quickly approached the main gate. The main gate area of the fort was also in chaos. Smoke and fire kept most of the guards occupied. We were able to escape with only minor skirmishes.

The night was dark as Zev led the way into shadows and alleys. Somehow I stayed on my feet, but I leaned onto Leliana more as we worked our way through the city.

As we burst through the doors to Eamon's estate Leliana shouted, "Wynne! Morrigan! Hurry!"

The shout brought people running from all directions. I looked around and it was only after I saw Fergus and Alistair that I let myself go into the darkness.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

I became aware of whispering, but my head hurt too much to try to make out what was being said. I was laying face down on a soft surface, my hand held by something warm. I forced my eyes to open to see Alistair sitting by the edge of the bed.

"Thank the maker!" he exclaimed. "You're awake. I thought you'd never wake up. I've been so worried. But then so has your brother and everyone else."

"You're babbling," I tried to say, my voice cracking.

He smiled that lop-sided grin of his. "Yeah, I guess I am. I'm just so relieved."

"Good," Morrigan said. "Now out. She needs to have her bandages changed."

He let go of my hand reluctantly and left the room. Morrigan began working and I grimaced as pain shot through my back. "I am sorry, " she said and I felt the tingling of her healing spell. "That should help."

"How long?" I whispered.

"Two days," she responded. "Do not move, just relax and let your body heal itself. Magic can only do so much." I felt the cool sensation of fresh poultices being applied to my back and then Morrigan put her hand under my head to help me drink a potion she offered.

As the sweet taste of a restorative went down my throat, I closed my eyes and drifted back to sleep.

...

When I awoke, I felt much better. I could see Alistair dozing in the chair he had pulled up to the bedside. I suddenly realized how much I cared for this sweet man. I felt a slight ache in my left side and some resistance from my back when I attempted to shift position. My arms protested when I pulled them closer to try to roll over.

"Don't you dare move!" Alistair said.

"I want to get up. Go get Wynne or Morrigan," I said stubbornly.

"No," he said defiantly. "You need another day of rest at least."

"But the landsmeet..." I started.

"Is not until tomorrow," he said, sitting with arms crossed. "Now relax and enjoy a day in bed. Are you hungry, do you want some food?"

My stomach rumbled as soon as I thought of food. "I think you better before my belly revolts," I said, smiling.

He got up and went to the door, opened and closed it, then came back and sat down.

"That was quick," I said.

"Yep. I have gotten you a handmaiden to wait on your every desire," he said grinning.

"Really?" I asked.

He looked at me with such intensity that I blushed. "Don't do that again!" he said, angrily.

"Do what?" I asked confused.

"You are not allowed to take any more chances with your life. You are too important," he said, then blushed as he added, "to me especially."

I watched him struggle with some inner turmoil and then he seemed to reach a decision. "I want you to know that I love you," he said quietly.

I was surprised. I knew he had feelings for me, but I hadn't realized they were that strong.

"You don't have to say anything," he said quickly. "We have been through so much together and when you came back injured, I realized that I need you. I am nothing without you," he looked into my eyes.

I looked deeply into his and realized that I felt the same way. "I love you, too," I said softly.

He grinned that loveable lop-sided grin, leaned over and gingerly kissed me. He sat back quickly as the door opened and Leli brought in a steaming bowl of soup.

"Alistair, out!" she ordered. "I need to help her get in a sitting position and you have to go see Arl Eamon."

He stood up and looked at me once more before closing the door.

"That man." Leli complained, smiling. "He hasn't left your side unless ordered to." She put the tray down. I pushed myself up on protesting arms and she helped me move into a sitting position. I groaned a little at the aches and pains coming from my many injuries. Leli changed the bandage at my side and helped me put on a nightgown. Pushing lots of pillows behind me, I sighed as I settled. She put the tray in front of me and sat in the chair.

"So you are my handmaiden?" I teased.

"Now I wonder who told you that?" she asked, laughing.

...

I felt much better sitting up and was visited by my friends that day. Even Sten made an appearance calling me Kadan again. When Zevran visited, I asked him if he knew what the term meant.

"Qunari do not go by names. They use their titles, so Sten is not actually his name. It is more or less his job," he explained. "Kadan is a title that is only given to a few. I believe it means: honored one."

"Oh," I said thoughtfully.

"If Sten is calling you Kadan, that is a big deal, Qunari don't just give out that title," he said quietly. He sat for a moment, then asked, "Do you know how hard it was to leave you?"

"I'm sorry I had to ask you to do that," I said. "But it was important to keep Alistair and Fergus safe."

"I know. That is why I did what you asked. But you, my lady, take too many chances. What if we had not been in time?" he asked, upset.

"I knew you would be," I said simply. "You are my friend."

"Just friend, and here I was hoping for more," he said mischievously. Then he looked at me smiling broadly, "I will just have to make sure that bastard prince, I mean king, of yours takes good care of you."

I smiled at him, "I don't think you have anything to worry about there."

A knock at the door interrupted us and Fergus popped his head in. "My turn!" he announced, "and I brought food!"

I laughed and Zevran bowed as he left.

"You have acquired quite an assortment of friends, sis." Fergus said as he sat with me and we began to eat. "I can't wait until we have time for you to tell me all of their stories."

"I know. They are an interesting group," I said.

"I'll say. But, you my dear, have been flirting just a bit too much," he teased.

"What?" I asked feigning innocence.

"Oh, you can fool them, but not me," he laughed. "Seriously though, Alistair is head over heels, you know."

I blushed, embarrassed that Alistair could so be so easily read.

"How do you feel about him?" he asked.

"I love him, too," I said softly.

"Then, I'm happy for you. But, you have to watch out for that elf. He flirts with you constantly," he said.

"Zev flirts with everyone," I said, smiling.

We finished eating and Wynne entered the room. "Alright, Fergus, that's enough visitors for today."

Fergus looked at me and asked, "Does she remind you of Nan?"

"Constantly." I laughed.

Wynne looked between the two of us and said, "Felicia needs rest. Tomorrow is the landsmeet, and if I know you," she said, glaring at me, "you will go even if I tried to lock you in."

Fergus burst out laughing. "Yep, she's Nan alright. Sleep well, pup." He gave me a quick gentle hug and left the room.

Wynne smiled at me. "Your brother loves you very much."

"And I him," I said, smiling broadly.

"Now, young lady, let's get you settled for the night," Wynne said as she helped me get comfortable.

...

As the morning dawned bright and sunny, I felt refreshed and ready for the day. A bath was brought in and I stepped slowly, and a little painfully, into the warm water, soaking away the aches. Afterwards, a beautiful blue silk dress with decorative sequins was laid out on my bed with pretty matching shoes. I slowly got dressed with the help of one of the servants. She also helped me put my hair up in a high bun with ringlets coming down. The reflection in the mirror looked almost like my mother. My Warden pendant hung upon my neck and I felt like my old self.

Arl Eamon had summoned a carriage to take us to the palace where the landsmeet would be held. We discussed last minute plans along the way. We entered the palace through large iron gates. The entry wound past sculpted trees and manicured lawns. Gardens with beautifully kept flowers lined the way. The carriage stopped and we ascended a set of marble steps reaching a set of gold trimmed doors.

We walked through the doors into a grand foyer. Guards were posted everywhere. Fergus had his men on guard duty to prevent Loghain's men from causing trouble. We parted company in the foyer, everyone heading to their spots in the Great Hall. Fergus headed to the left to go to the balcony designated for Highever. Arl Eamon turned right to go Redcliffe's balcony. Bann Teagan, Alistair and myself headed straight ahead to the doors leading to the main floor. Alistair and I were going to stand toward the front, off to the right side underneath Arl Eamon.

The great hall was enormous. Massive marble pillars lined the sides supporting balconies where the upper noblemen and women were gathered. Beautiful tapestries adorned the walls between large stained glass windows that allowed bright multicolored sunlight to cascade around the hall. A bright red carpet with gold edging lay down the center of the hall. Benches were set on either side of the carpet. Bann Teagan stood to one side with his fellow nobles from the Bannorn. At the end, up a short flight of stairs, sat the thrones of the King and Queen. Alistair and I made our way toward the front.

I was surprised at the turnout. The hall was filled with nobles and the noise level was high with all the chattering going on. Heads turned as Alistair and I walked down the aisle. Alistair looked very princely in his white silk shirt and black silk trouser. He was, of course, extremely nervous. The resemblance to Cailen was too obvious for anyone to miss. There would be no doubting his bloodline today.

Loghain and Anora entered after waiting long enough for the crowd to grow restless. Everyone dropped to one knee before the Queen. I had to hold onto Alistair's arm for support, but he didn't seem to mind. Loghain was dressed in his full battle armor. Anora looked regal in her green silk gown. She wore her crown and sat down on her throne. A murmuring went through the crowd as we all stood up, then the room became deathly still.

"Arl Eamon, you have called this landsmeet at a time when we can ill afford to divert our attention. What say you?" Loghain asked.

"I am challenging your position as regent and Anora's position as Queen," Eamon stated.

No surprise there, I thought.

Loghain looked around the room. Anger entered his eyes and he took a step towards me. Alistair put his arm in front of me and Loghain looked at him. His face changed from anger to surprise then back to anger in a quick moment.

"By what right do you challenge?" Loghain asked, the anger seeping into his voice.

"Alistair is King Meric's son and he should take the throne as king," Eamon declared. Voices rose in the hall. Eamon waved them down. "You are a traitor who abandoned your king and the armies at Ostagar." Again, voices rose up.

Loghain looked at Eamon. The hatred in his eyes was growing. He was becoming dangerous.

"The Grey Wardens," he pointed at Alistair and me, "were responsible for the loss at Ostagar. I saved lives bringing my soldiers back here."

I felt Alistair tense and I squeezed his arm, trying to give him courage to hold his tongue.

"The threat is not darkspawn!" Loghain proclaimed, "The threat is an imminent attack from the Orlaisians!"

"You haven't been to my arling then Loghain!" Arl Wulff of West Hills shouted. "I've lost my two boys and all my lands to the darkspawn."

Heads were nodding in agreement as nobles shifted in their seats. Fergus stood and said clearly, "What about Arl Renden Howe? He attacked Highever killing everyone except my sister and I, then he tortured innocent men, all to support you."

A shocked gasp went up from the crowd and Bann Sigurd shouted above the noise, "My son, Oswyn, was tortured by Howe! Thank the maker the Warden saved him," he added in a softer voice, "but, the healers say he'll never be the same."

A voice rang out from Denerim's balcony, "The Warden saved me also. Renden Howe killed my father, the rightful Arl of Denerim, and then kept me prisoner and tortured me."

Another wave of gasps and shocked looks traveled the room.

"What Renden Howe did is regrettable, but I had nothing to do with it!" Loghain shouted, fury in his voice. "This woman," he pointed at me, "killed Renden and should pay for her crime!"

"I claim 'Blood Honor'." I shouted calmly above the rising noise. "Howe killed my family."

The clamoring of voices became louder and Arl Eamon held his hands up for quiet. The noise dropped and Eamon said, "We must unite and prepare to battle the darkspawn army amassing in the south. Redcliffe supports Alistair for King."

Fergus shouted, "Highever supports Alistair."

Around the room it went, "Denerim supports Alistair!", "South Reach supports Alistair!", "West Hills supports Alistair!"

One by one the Bannorn shouted out their votes and all went with Alistair. We were going to win the landsmeet!

Anora stood and as each of the votes went against her, she drew closer to her father. Loghain looked murderously at Alistair and I. "You think that I, the Hero of the River Dane will bow out so easily? You fools!" he spat and drew his sword.

"No bloodshed!" someone shouted. "If you contest, do it honorably with a duel."

Loghain glared at me, but Alistair stepped forward. "Do you wish to contest the decision of the landsmeet?" he asked.

Without taking his eyes off of me, Loghain growled, "Yes!"

"A duel then," Alistair said.

Fergus approached from a side door carrying gold armor. He smiled at our surprised looks and said, "I didn't feel right leaving this in Ostagar. I brought it with me, thinking it might come in handy." Alistair stood stiffly as my brother and I strapped Cailen's gold armor onto him. "One last thing," Fergus said and bowed, offering Alistair the sword that had belonged to King Meric. Alistair looked at the great sword, surprised, and his expression changed to gratitude as he looked at Fergus..

"You are not worthy to wear that armor, let alone wield that sword!" Loghain growled vehemently.

Fergus and I backed away as the two men squared off. I watched them circle like lions evaluating prey. Loghain began to stab at Alistair with his sword, getting closer with each thrust. Alistair watched warily and stepped slightly to the left. Loghain followed and swung his sword. Alistair blocked it easily and sidestepped to avoid the shield attack that had followed. They danced, trading off attacks, the air ringing with the clash of their swords. They circled each other evaluating strengths and weaknesses. Loghain suddenly roared and charged at Alistair. My heart jumped into my throat as Alistair was pushed back by the power of the charge. He brought his great sword around and knocked Loghain's shield across the room. Again, Loghain charged, but Alistair now had the upper hand and with a twisting motion, Loghain's sword flew into a balcony. Alistair knocked Loghain down on his back and placed Meric's sword to his throat.

"No!" Anora cried out. "Please, don't kill him."

Alistair looked at Loghain, "Do you yield?"

"Anora, daughter, I only had your best interests at heart," Loghain said, then spat at Alistair, "I will never yield!"

"So be it." Alistair said quietly and with one quick thrust killed Loghain.

"How could you!" Anora shrieked at him, then she came at me sobbing, "This is all your fault. If Cailen had been a little more patient, I could have given him an heir. He wouldn't have even thought about replacing me with you!" and she lunged at me with a small dagger in her hand.

I sidestepped easily and she fell from the momentum of her attack. A guard came over and helped the sobbing woman to her feet. "Your majesty, what do you want done with her?" he asked.

Alistair looked around the room a moment, then said, chagrined, "Oh, that's me, isn't it?" Then in a more somber tone he said "Take her to Ameranthine and keep her under lock and key. If I somehow don't survive the battle with the archdemon, she can have the throne."

She looked at him with curiosity, wiping her eyes and said tearfully, "You would still give me the throne?"

"I said 'If I don't survive'," he repeated and came over to me. "You need to go back to your room and have Wynne look at that," he pointed to a dark, wet area on my left side. I must have pulled my wound open avoiding Anora's attack, I thought.

Eamon and Teagan had joined us. "Alistair, you need to stay here with us, we need to start evacuating the city. You have a lot to do and a short time to do it in."

Alistair looked at me questioningly. "Don't worry." I reassured him, "I'll be resting in my room, you can see me when you're done." Then I added teasingly, "Your majesty," and curtseyed. I almost fell over when my legs didn't want to cooperate. Thank goodness Fergus was there to support me.

I headed out, looking back once at my love standing so royal in his gold armor at the front of the hall. Leli and Zev were in the foyer and rushed up to me. "We want details," Leli said excitedly.

I sighed, "once we're back at Eamon's estate," I said tiredly, as the events of the day caught up to me.

I was dozing when a soft knock woke me. "Come in," I said.

Alistair poked his head in, "Is now a good time?"

"Sure," I said and giggled when he entered. He was back in his silk outfit, carrying a tray with wine and cheese.

"I thought we would celebrate," he said, smiling and sat down on the bed with me.

He poured the wine and began cutting the assortment of cheeses he had brought. "So..." he said hesitantly. "You have another secret you've been keeping..."

"What?" I asked, confused. I had no idea what he was talking about.

"Oh, don't pull that innocent routine on me. I'm immune now," he said smiling.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." I said as I sipped the wine.

"What Anora said...about Cailen...her...you..." he was watching me intently.

I blushed and felt hot. "It's not what it seems." I sighed when he folded his arms across his chest. "Two years ago, when I was at the Redcliffe tournament, Cailen apparently approached my father about me. Father never made a big deal out of it, so I didn't think anything of it," I said.

"Oh," Alistair said. "Okay," and he went back to eating his cheese.

I shook my head and smiled at him. "I only want you," I said softly.

He looked at me and grinned, "Well, here I am!"


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

The nightmares were getting worse. I woke with my heart racing, still hearing the calling of the arch demon in my ears.

I sat up slowly, stiff from yesterday's activity. We were still in Eamon's estate. Alistair didn't want to move into the palace until after his coronation. I had insisted that Alistair sleep in his own bed last night. He was worn out from the Landsmeet and his vigil at my side, but I missed seeing him when I looked at the chair next to the bed. I got up and put on a plain blue dress. I pulled my hair back in a simple ponytail and left my room, heading for the kitchen.

The estate was quiet in the early morning. I opened the kitchen door and wasn't surprised to see Alistair eating.

"Good morning," I said, smiling at him.

"Morning!" he said, smiling. "How do you feel this morning?"

"Better." I sat down next to him and began to fix a plate of food. "How do you feel?"

"A little worried. I don't know if I can pull off this 'king' business," he frowned. "I don't know the first thing about ruling."

I smiled, "I can teach you some things. I was trained to lead the terynir, it isn't that much different, just smaller."

He smiled broadly at me, "That would be great. Eamon was making my head hurt yesterday with all the stuff I have to do."

I laughed. "It won't be that bad, we just have to plan out the battle with the archdemon right now. Just take one thing at a time and you won't get overwhelmed."

He grinned, "As long as you promise to help me."

"Of course," I said, smirking, "you need all the help you can get."

We were both laughing when Leliana entered the room. "I thought you two might be up," she smiled. "I'm glad to see everyone smiling and happy." She sat down across from us.

The cook came in, put her hands on her hips and said, "This is supposed to be my job," she looked at the table and frowned, "Cheese and bread are not a good breakfast. You need a hot meal to start your day!" She stoked the fire and filled a pot with water.

Zevran entered the room and said, "Good morning." He sat down on my other side. "And how is everyone this fine morning?"

The cook looked at us and said sternly, "Out! I need room to prepare breakfast! Go to the dining room as is proper!"

Alistair looked at me sheepishly and we all stood and left the kitchen. Eamon and Teagan were already in the dining room as we entered. They stood and bowed, "Good morning, your majesty." Eamon said, smiling broadly.

Alistair shook his head, "Please don't do that. You of all people are never going to bow to me."

Eamon smiled, "When it's just us, I won't, but in public..."

Teagan interrupted, "you deserve the respect, even if you don't think so."

"Thank you," Alistair said, as we sat down.

"You have a lot to do and little time to do it in," Eamon said. "We have a meeting with the Guard-Captain this morning."

Fergus and Wynne entered. Fergus gave me a hug and sat down. "Did I miss anything?"

"No," I said, "we were discussing the meetings planned for today."

Wynne looked at me, "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Fine," I said, smiling.

Eamon continued, "Alistair, you have some positions to fill. You need advisors and a general to lead your armies."

"Well, you are all appointed my advisers, " he said, smiling. "Fergus, you can be my general."

"I'd be honored, your majesty." Fergus said.

"Ok, that was easy. Now what?" Alistair asked, grinning.

Eamon shook his head, "Alistair, please try to take this seriously."

Servants entered with steaming bowls and the talk died down as we ate. "Seriously, I think we need to have someone listening to the rumors and make sure there are no Loghain supporters that might want to harm you." I said, looking at Alistair.

He looked at me thoughtfully a moment, then said, "Zevran, can you go around town, listening to the rumors that are out there?"

"Certainly." Zevran said.

Riordan entered and bowed, "May I join you?"

"Of course, we could use the input of a seasoned Grey Warden," Eamon replied.

Riordan sat down and said, "It has been over 400 years since the last Blight, I only know the stories that have been told through the generations. I don't know how much information I can give you."

"Any help is welcome," Alistair said, "it will be good not to be the only Grey Wardens in this battle."

Sten entered, nodded at me, "Kadan," and sat down.

Riordan raised an eyebrow, "A Qunari? How did he become involved?"

"It's a long story," I said.

"My Lady excels at creating allies," Zevran said smiling at me. "I will begin my information gathering." He stood and bowed, "Your majesty."

As Zevran left, Morrigan entered, "I am going into the wilds to the south. I will scout how far north the darkspawn have come." She nodded to us and left.

I looked at Alistair and shrugged.

A servant entered and announced that the Guard-Captain had arrived and was waiting in the main hall.

Wynne said, "I'll organize an infirmary at the Chantry."

Leliana said, "I'll come with you."

They left together, chatting about supplies.

The rest of us left the dining room and went into the main hall where the Guard-Captain was waiting. He went down on one knee, "Your majesty."

Alistair said, "At ease, Captain. What is your name?"

The Captain stood, "Garret, ser."

For the next few hours, we discussed the best way to evacuate the city and strategies for the best defense. Fergus, Teagan, Riordan and Sten left with Garret to inspect the armies.

A servant announced the arrival of several nobles wishing an audience with the new king. Alistair groaned. I smiled at him, "Your kingly training begins."

Eamon nodded, "You may have received their support yesterday, but now you have to prove your worthiness for their continued support."

The afternoon dragged on as one after another noble wanted to meet Alistair. Alistair did a tremendous job listening and reassuring the nobles that he had their best interests at heart. Finally, the last noble left and Zevran came in.

"The mood in the city is a mixture of hope and fear," he said. "I have not heard any rumors that would indicate either of you being in danger." Zevran smiled, "I wish to spend the evening at the Pearl if you have nothing further for me. I will come back tomorrow with any other news I might hear."

"Enjoy yourself," I said smiling. Zevran bowed and left the estate.

Dinner was announced and Alistair and I walked into the dining hall together. Only Riordan and Eamon were at the table and they stood as we entered. After we ate, Alistair and I went to the study. I picked some books about battle strategies from the shelves and snuggled against Alistair as we discussed the information.

...

I sat up, startled awake by the latest nightmare, I was tired of waking up in a panic. I laid back down, it was still dark out and I didn't want to get up. I was not going to give in to the despair that the nightmares gave me. The archdemon wasn't going to win that battle.

I closed my eyes and thought about the past couple of days. I realized that I was happy. I enjoyed the strategy meetings Alistair held with Fergus and Teagan. I even enjoyed watching Alistair try to be royal with the nobles that were remaining to fight. But my favorite time was in the evening when it was just Alistair and I in the study talking.

The sky started to brighten as the sun came up. I reluctantly got out of bed and dressed in my armor. Wynne had finally agreed to let me work out today. I left the estate and went to the soldier's area where a makeshift sparring ring had been set up.

It felt good to be back in my armor. I began swinging and thrusting at a straw dummy. "Need someone to spar with?" Zevran asked, smiling.

I smiled back, "You sure?" and I raised my shield.

We sparred, dodging and thrusting. Zevran twirled his blades and moved fast. I was just as fast and able to block his blades with both shield and sword. We were equally matched and neither of us gained the advantage. We continued dancing around the ring for nearly an hour. A crowd had gathered and was cheering us on. Finally, I saw an opening in Zev's defense, using my shield I blocked his right hand attack while at the same time knocking his dagger from his left. "I surrender!" Zev shouted happily.

Cheers went up from the soldier's surrounding the ring. I shook Zev's hand and he pulled me into a hug. "Great match!" I said, panting.

We left the ring laughing. Fergus came up to us. "Wow, Felicia! You've really gotten good." He hugged me and the three of us walked back to the estate.

Alistair was in meetings again, so I left my brother and Zevran talking about the battle to come, and walked out to the estate's garden for some quiet time.

I sat on a bench near a rose bush and tried to quiet all the thoughts going through my head. I heard someone approach and saw Wynne. "If you need alone time, I will talk to you later," she said and turned to leave.

"No, Wynne," I smiled at her. "I always have time for you."

She smiled back and sat down next to me. "I heard Fergus and Zevran talking about your match. You didn't overdo it, did you?"

I laughed, "I'm fine. Stop worrying."

She smiled at me. "I guess I can't help it. I've grown very fond of you."

"I'm fond of you too. I can't imagine doing all this without your advice," I said.

"I'm fond of Alistair too and I have seen the way you two look at each other. Please, be careful," she said, looking at me closely. "A Grey Warden must place duty first and with Alistair to take the throne...I just don't want to see either of you hurt."

I looked at her, "I wouldn't hurt him for anything in the world."

"Not intentionally, of course." Wynne sighed, "Maybe it's just an old woman's needless worry. There's just so much that can happen. Love is essentially selfish and you can't afford to be selfish."

I looked at the flowers and said quietly, "I know better than most what duty means." I looked Wynne in the eyes and said more confidently, "I am a Cousland. I understand my duties as a Grey Warden and I will not forsake them."

Wynne's eyes filled with tears, "Oh, Felicia. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

I hugged her fiercely, "Please don't apologize, and Maker's breath, don't cry. You are only trying to protect Alistair and I can't fault you for that."

Wynne hugged back then looked around. "I should be going. The mages have arrived. First Enchanter Irving went in to see Alistair and I am to meet him afterwards."

I nodded, "I have things to do this afternoon as well."

...

The mages, dwarves and elves arrived within hours of each other. The afternoon was filled with meetings and planning sessions. The evacuations had gone as planned and most of the city was empty. Barricades had been set up at strategic points. Scouts had come back with reports that the horde would reach Denerim by tomorrow morning. Last minute preparations were being made and the troops were setting up.

We had finished our evening meal and were discussing any last minute plans. Since the archdemon would be drawn to the wardens, Riordan, Alistair and myself were taking a group of soldiers to the top of Fort Drakon. We would use the ballistae there to bring the dragon down where we could kill it.

Various groups of soldiers would be placed strategically throughout the city to prevent darkspawn from coming to the aid of the dragon. Fergus would lead the bulk of the troops at the southern entrance to defend against the horde as it attempted to enter the city.

As we were leaving the dining hall, Riordan asked Alistair and I to meet him in his room. There was some last minute warden business to discuss. We followed him and he shut the door behind us. "Did Duncan have a chance to discuss why wardens must kill the archdemon?" he asked.

"I take it we don't just chop off its head." Alistair quipped.

"I assumed it was due to the taint," I said.

"Yes, that is exactly why," Riordan said. "The archdemon is an ancient god that has taken over a tainted being. In our case he has possessed a high dragon. When the dragon is killed, the archdemon's spirit will seek out the closest tainted creature and inhabit that body."

"So it will take over the Grey Warden that killed it?" Alistair asked aghast.

"Not really, none of us are mages and we are not empty darkspawn shells. The archdemon's spirit and our spirit would not be able to co-exist and therefore both would die."

"Wait!" Alistair said alarmed. "One of us has to die to kill the archdemon?"

"I'm afraid so. It's been four hundred years since the last Blight. We know only what was written by those brave souls about how to end this one. I should be the one to take the final blow. I am older than you and I've begun hearing the calling," he said.

"The calling?" I asked worried.

"So, Duncan didn't tell you all the dark secrets of being a warden, did he?" he asked sadly.

"He didn't have time," I said. "He died right after my joining."

"I am sorry you had to hear it this way. But if I'm successful, you two will have to rebuild the order, so you need to know all of it."

Alistair and I looked at each other and Alistair said, "I think we should sit down for this."

We sat in front of the fireplace and Riordan looked at us sadly. "This is hard. You two obviously care about each other and I have nothing but bad news for you. The joining drink is made by mixing darkspawn blood and raw lyrium. For those of us who survive, we become tainted. We are able to sense anything else that is tainted. Through nightmares, we can hear the darkspawn and during a Blight, the archdemon, who can in turn can also sense and hear us to a certain extent. The taint in our blood allows us to kill the archdemon as I said. Over time the taint slowly poisons us. It makes it difficult if not impossible to have children. As we age and the taint grows, it reaches a point where we will die. Usually around thirty years. The nightmares increase and most wardens choose to go to the deep roads to take as many darkspawn as possible with them."

I sat in numb silence. No children and a short life. Why wasn't I told? I guess no one would join the wardens if they knew the price, but still. I looked at Alistair with tears in my eyes. His face showed a myriad of emotions.

"I am sorry you had to find out this way," Riordan said quietly.

"And what way would be better?" Alistair snapped angrily. He stood and strode out of the room, slamming the door as he left.

I looked sadly at Riordan and left his room, lost in my own thoughts. I headed to my own room and was greeted by Morrigan, who was leaning against the wall, obviously waiting for me.

"I would like to discuss something with you," she said as I went into my room. I nodded, she followed me and shut the door. "It regards the battle tomorrow."

I looked at her tiredly. I didn't want any more bad news, but I said, "Go on."

"I know that a warden must die to kill the archdemon. I also know of a loophole that can prevent the death of the warden," she stated.

I looked at her confused. "How do you know this?"

"Flemeth," she said. "This is why I was to come with you. There is a ritual that if performed on the night before battle will conceive a child. When the dragon is killed, the archdemon will hone in on the babe like a moth to a flame. The old god will be reborn in the child. No warden has died and the Blight is over."

I looked at her in horror. "You want to have a demon child?"

"No. The child will be normal. Only its soul will be that of an old god," Morrigan said.

"Well obviously, I'm not the one for this ritual, so why tell me?" I asked, getting angry.

"You can convince Alistair. You can save the one you love. He will not allow you to take the final blow and he will die. Or if you do take the final blow, he would lose the one he loves. This will spare of all that," she said, watching me.

"No! Absolutely not!" I glared at her. "I thought you were my friend, you've been scheming this whole time!"

Morrigan hung her head, "I am your friend. That is why I offer this. At least let Alistair choose."

"Why him? Why not Riordan?" I asked, unable to contain my anger.

"He is too tainted. The child would be filled with poison," she said, sadly.

"I'm going out and when I return I want you gone!" I said angrily, and stormed out of my room. Without thinking, I headed straight for Alistair's room. I hesitated then knocked.

He opened the door and said, "Can't sleep either?"

I stomped in. "You'll never believe it. How dare she? I can't believe it." I was ranting.

Alistair watched me, bemused, then asked, "Can I assume this has something to do with Morrigan loitering outside your door?"

"She knows. She knows that a warden will die," I said angrily. "She said something about a ritual and the old god and a child."

"Whoa, slow down. What are you going on about?" he asked, worried.

"Morrigan. Something Flemeth told her to do. A ritual with you that would create a child for the archdemon to go to when we kill it. I can't believe she thought I would agree to that. I can't believe she thought you would agree to that." Tears started falling down my cheeks. "It's not fair! I finally fall in love and I can't have your children and I can't grow old with you."

Alistair took me in his arms and held me close as I cried. "I'm sorry," I said tearfully, "I'm so stupid. I shouldn't have come here." I tried to pull away but he didn't let me go.

"You are the most wonderful, intelligent, beautiful woman and I am lucky to know you." He kissed me before I could answer.

I melted into him. I let go of the sadness, fear and anxiety as he kissed the tears from my face. He whispered in my ear making me tingle all over, "May I?" I nodded and ran my hands through his hair like I had been wanting to for so long. He fumbled a little with the clasp on my dress as I unbuttoned his shirt. Awkwardly we managed to get each other undressed. Picking me up, he placed me gently on his bed and I lost myself in the feel of his tender touch as he caressed and kissed.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

I woke with a start from the same nightmare I had been having. Alistair pulled me close and said, "I'm right here, don't worry." I snuggled up against his warm body, putting my head on his chest, and enjoying the feeling of being close to him.

He sighed, "No matter what happens today, just remember that I love you."

I smiled at him. "I love you too."

He looked lovingly at me and said, "I am a lucky, lucky man."

We held each other for a while, it was not dawn yet and still quite dark. I tried not to think about the coming day, but it weighed heavy on my mind.

I gave Alistair a hug and got up, went to my own room, and got dressed in my leather armor. I entered the dining hall for a quick breakfast. Alistair came into the dining hall wearing the gold armor which was now his right. I smiled grimly at him and he nodded back. Soon we were joined by the rest of the group, except Morrigan. I was told by a servant that she hadn't slept in her room last night.

Our group left the estate and made our way through the streets to the armies' gathering point just inside the city gates.

Alistair looked at me, nervously and whispered, "If I pass out, please, just kill me."

"You'll be fine," I said, trying to give him courage. "You big coward."

He smiled, squared his shoulder and walked onto the platform that was in front of the troops. They all kneeled and Alistair said, "My fellow Fereldens," the troops stood as he paused, "Before us stands the might of the darkspawn horde! Gaze upon them, but fear them not! For we are Fereldens and we fight for Ferelden as our fathers have and their fathers before them! " He paused looking around, "Today we face an enemy that no one has faced in over four hundred years, but it was defeated then and shall be defeated again. I have faith in you. We will stand shoulder to shoulder, neighbors and friends and we will win! We will make all those who have passed before us proud!" He raised his sword high into the air. "For Ferelden!"

The army exploded with cheers. I proudly watched him, smiling and cheering. He left the platform and we prepared to head to our various assignments. I bowed to Arl Eamon and Bann Teagan who were leaving for their assigned spots within the city. "Maker watch over you," I said.

"Maker watch over you as well," they replied as they left.

Wynne smiled as she stood, "I will be in the infirmary area. Please be careful."

"You too," I responded as she left.

Fergus walked up and we hugged, "Felicia, I will see you after the battle."

"Maker watch over you, Fergus," I said as he left for his position.

Leliana, Zevran and Sten were coming with Riordan, Alistair and I to the roof of Fort Drakon, so we turned and began walking in that direction.

...

The roof of Fort Drakon was positioned high enough that we had an excellent view of the surrounding area. We had runners posted along with soldiers at the four doorways that led into the fort itself. The runners were prepared to deliver any messages that we needed to send based on what we saw. There were four guard towers at each corner of the roof where archers stood ready with their bows. Leliana was in one of those towers. At points along the edge of the roof were eight ballistae, two on each side. This is where the each of us with three soldiers positioned ourselves . Now we just had to wait. I kept scanning the skies to the south, watching for any sign of the dragon.

The clouds turned first a purple pink then an orange red as the sun rose up behind them. To the south, it was still dark enough to make out various fires that were set ablaze as the horde moved through the area. As I watched, I could see a dark mass approaching fast. Then I saw a shadow in the sky above the front of the horde. The dragon soared with wings outstretched like a mighty bird. It roared and began to head directly for the city.

The horde reached the gates and the battle began. I tensed up. The buzzing in my head was almost overwhelming. The dragon drew closer and began breathing fireballs into the city, setting buildings ablaze. It glided past the Fort on the opposite side from where I was positioned and I heard shots ringing out as ballista were fired.

I could feel the dragon roaring in my head as well as hear it. It cruised by again, spitting fire in all directions. Arrows flew from the towers.

Smoke began to fill the air as fires raged below us. The dragon flew by once more and a ballista arrow pierced one of its wings. The beast screamed in fury as it lost control and crashed onto the roof. Quickly, I swung my ballista around and fired a shot hitting a foreleg. Leaving my ballista to the other soldiers with me, I charged down toward the dragon. I saw Riordan and Alistair coming from their sides as well.

We charged the beast. It was strong and its hide was practically impenetrable to our sword attacks, but its underside was softer and our numerous hits were slowly weakening it. The ballistae had been reloaded and new arrows struck the dragon in several tender spots. An acrid odor filled the air as dark, vile blood streamed from its wounds. The beast went into a rage, clawing and snapping at everything.

The beast's tail whipped around and one of the ballista was thrown off the roof. A terrible crashing noise was heard as it hit the ground. A shot rang out from one of the other ballistae and several arrows flew towards the tail. One arrow found its mark and pinned the dragon's tail to the roof.

The dragon roared with renewed anger and tried to free itself. The roof of the Fort was not meant to hold the weight of a dragon and began to crack and sag.

A new sound came from one of the towers. Darkspawn had made it to the roof. Sten and Zevran led a group of soldiers towards these new attackers. I saw Leliana standing on the ramparts rapidly firing arrows.

I heard a shout and looked up to see the beast with someone in its mouth. It shook the soldier like a wolf shakes its prey. My heart skipped a beat when I realized it was Riordan. I heard a horrible crunching sound and then the beast tossed Riordan's lifeless body over the side of the fort.

I stood in horror a moment then renewed my attack, trying to maneuver my way to the head. I was going to kill the beast. Ferelden needed Alistair, so if it was up to me, I was taking the killing blow.

The dragon was tiring now and suddenly I saw Alistair on the beast's back. He was working his way toward its head, hanging on as the dragon began bucking like a wild horse. Alistair tried to grab on, but he was thrown off. I couldn't see where he landed and tried to make my way to him, but the dragon swung its head around wildly.

The roaring in my head overshadowed every other sound around me and I ducked behind a fallen pillar. The beast's head hit the pillar with such force that it cracked, leaving the dragon dazed. I took that opportunity to get underneath the beast's powerful neck.

I could hear its labored breathing and I thrust my blade deep into the dragon's neck and dragged it along as I ran towards its nose, slitting its throat open. The dragon let out a gargling roar and I jumped on its head as it collapsed to the ground. I heard Alistair scream "NO!" as I raised the Cousland blade high and plunged it deep into the beast's head. The beast let out one final weak roar and collapsed. I twisted the blade to be sure the beast was dead and felt a wave of tremendous power emanating from the dragon and radiating outward knocking everyone off their feet. I smiled as I fell off the dragon's head toward the stone roof and everything went black.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

I opened my eyes and heard, "Thank the maker! Quickly go get Bryce!"

I looked around, confused. I was laying in my feather bed in my room at Highever castle. I felt a wet nudge at my hand and saw Dagger sitting on the floor with his head resting next to me. I petted absently him and saw my mother sitting on the other side.

"Mother?" I asked, weakly and tried to sit up.

"Don't move, dear. You had a nasty fall," she tucked the covers back around me.

"Fall?" I said trying to understand.

"Yes dear. I've told you time and time again not to go riding alone. This is precisely why," she said and rubbed my arm. "I don' t want to lose you."

The door opened and father stepped in with a servant. "Ah pup. Finally. You had us worried there," he came over and kissed my forehead. "It's a good thing Oren saw you sneak out."

"Father? You are still alive?" I asked, shocked.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" he responded, surprised at my reaction.

I hesitated, trying to understand what was happening. I seemed to remember a terrible night when we were attacked. "Arl Howe didn't attack us?"

"Now why in Andraste's name would Renden attack us?" he said, worriedly and turned to a servant. "Get that mage in here!"

The servant returned with an elderly mage and father glared at him. "What's wrong with her? She's saying crazy things."

The mage leaned over me. He was very old with shocking white hair and a long white beard. His pale eyes searched mine. I suddenly didn't trust him. "Who are you?" I said sitting up.

"Felicia! Stay still." Mother cried out. "Please don't injure yourself further."

"I think she can sit, my lady." The mage said and looked at me. "I am a circle mage . I came because you weren't waking up. What is the problem?"

"I was on Fort Drakon, we were fighting the Blight and I killed the archdemon." I said slowly, trying to remember. "Where are my friends? Is Alistair alright?"

The mage looked at me cautiously. "What in Andraste's name are you talking about, pup?" Father asked, the worry in his voice evident.

I worked my way out of my bed and rose to a standing position. "This doesn't feel right." I said gaining confidence. "This almost feels like..."

"The Fade?" The mage finished.

I gasped and looked closely at him. The people in the room vanished.

"Yes, you are very strong willed. I knew I would have trouble convincing you," he said.

I grabbed at my back and found that I had no weapon. Looking around the room, I grabbed a dagger that was lying on a dresser.

He began forming a spell. I charged forward but was blown back by the force of the spell. I felt my head hit something hard and everything went black.

...

Moaning, I lifted my hand to my head. It was bandaged, but hurt terribly.

"Thank the Maker. Go get the King!" a voice ordered.

I looked around to find the owner of the voice.

"Where am I?" I said trying to sit up.

"Please, your highness, don't move." Wynne said as she put a hand to my shoulder. "You took a bad fall down those steps."

"Wynne?" I said, confused. I looked around. I didn't know where I was. This bedroom seemed very unfamiliar. I was lying in a large four poster bed with silken sheets. The room was bright with sunlight coming in from an open window. The breeze was cool but not chilly and the scent of roses hung in the air.

"Yes, dear. Now relax. You just need to rest for a few more days," she said. "You gave everyone quite a scare. Thankfully you didn't lose the baby."

"Baby?" I said, really confused. "What are you saying? Where am I? What's going on?"

"Please calm down. You hit your head very hard and I dare say you are a little scrambled right now. Don't worry, everything will come back to you," she said, trying to calm me.

The door opened and Cailen hurried in, rushing over to me, taking my hand and kissing it. "My dear. You gave me such a fright."

I looked at him confusion in my eyes. He looked up to Wynne. "What's wrong?" he asked, worriedly.

"She doesn't remember anything," Wynne answered.

"What do you remember, my love?" he asked soothingly.

"The Blight. I'm a Grey Warden and I killed the archdemon," I said quietly, unsure of the response I would get.

"That must have been some powerful dream you had," he said. "Although, I could see us fighting a Blight together!" He smiled broadly. "You need to rest, though. We don't want the baby to get any more excitement until it's born."

"No!" I said sitting up. "This isn't right!"

"What do you mean, love?" he asked, worry and fear covering his face. "You're starting to scare me."

"You are not here! I must be still in the Fade!" I shouted. "Where's that mage!"

The elderly mage walked in shaking his head. "You are so stubborn. Anyone else would have accepted this as reality."

"But it's not and you are the archdemon aren't you," I said, looking for some kind of weapon. Wynne and Cailen were gone and I spotted a dagger again. I grabbed it and rolled as a fireball engulfed the bed. I slashed out and scored a hit across the mage's cheek drawing blood.

"You are a lot of trouble, Warden!" he said as he hurled another blast at me.

Dodging that, I grabbed him from behind and sunk my blade into his lower back. He roared with pain and I felt myself hurtled through the air by a powerful spell. I crashed into the wall, the wind knocked out of me. I tried to fight as the darkness overwhelmed me again.

...

I awoke in a beautiful garden. I stood up slowly and looked around, angry and confused. The mage stood leaning on a staff near some blooming rose bushes.

"Who are you? Why are you tormenting me?" I asked.

"I am Urethmiel. I knew you would be the one to kill the dragon. You are much stronger than many of the Grey Ones before you," he said calmly.

"Urethmiel, the ancient god?" I asked, watching him carefully.

He motioned to a bench near the roses. "Come. Sit. We have a bit of time."

I watched as he hobbled over to the bench and sat down slowly. He looked at me and smiled, "Do not worry my girl. I am not going to kill you, yet."

"What is going on? Why are we here?" I asked, not moving.

"Yes, that is part of your strength," he sighed, "You don't accept things as they are. You question everything. Let's see, how do I make a very long story short? Four hundred years ago a Grey One defeated my host but could not defeat me. I went into hibernation waiting for the right time, when I would be strong enough and could find a strong host to return to your world. Finally, the high dragon was born," He took a deep breath. "We are here, because I am not a spirit or demon that can share a body, therefore you must fight me if you wish to live."

I watched him warily, raising my shield and sword.

"Well, I didn't think you were going to just give up," he laughed a soft kind laugh. "You aren't going to win, though. A warrior will never be able to overcome my magic."

I looked at him thoughtfully. "Well, since I'm going to lose, it won't hurt for me to ask a few questions."

"We don't have unlimited time, but ask, I will answer," he said.

"Is there a cure for the taint?" I asked.

"It is a poison. All poisons have a cure," he answered.

"If I do kill you, by some miracle. Will that end the Blights?" I asked.

He paused. "You will not kill me, but yes, I am the last old god. The darkspawn will still survive in the depths, but without an old god they will have no direction."

I hesitated feeling the weight of my shield in my left hand and my sword in my right hand. "Why can't warriors beat magic?"

He laughed. "You already know why," he stood and began forming a spell in his hand. "And I am more powerful than you can possibly imagine."

The ground I had been standing on exploded with the force of his spell. I stood out of my roll and swiped my blade across his chest drawing blood. He roared with pain and rage. I had already started moving when he cast his next spell, I wasn't quite fast enough and I was thrown into the rose bushes which burst into flames. I regained my feet quickly again, but he had disappeared.

I stood catching my breath, trying to figure out how I was going to defeat him. I heard Wynne say, "Felicia!" and turned to see her hurrying towards me.

"Watch out, Wynne!" I shouted as the mage reappeared and cast a spell at her. I used my shield and successfully deflected the fireball before it could hit her.

"No intruders!" Urethmiel shrieked and sent another spell at her that I couldn't deflect. She was thrown back and disappeared.

"Wynne!" I shouted and turned on him. "What did you do to her?"

"I sent her back. You however, have proven very resourceful." I saw that he had healed himself. "I will be more watchful."

Before I knew what happened, I couldn't move. I felt lightning shocks and convulsed. I tried to find a way out of his trap. I tested my limbs and found a weakness around my left shield hand. I maneuvered the shield, using all my strength while the shocks continued and I let out a yell as I heaved the shield at the mage. The shield flew out of the barrier and struck him full force knocking him down, and freeing me. I ran over to the mage and thrust my sword into his chest. An ungodly howling and roaring surrounded me, deafening me with the sound. I put my hands to my ears but it didn't help. As I passed out, the ringing seemed to continue.

...

Opening my eyes, I looked around. Great, I thought, it isn't over yet. I was lying in a soft feather bed in an unknown room. There were vases filled with roses on every available surface. I started to sit up, but Wynne rushed over, "Don't you move!"

"Again," I said forlornly. "I know this is the Fade. Just let me up so I can do whatever I need to do to get out."

Wynne's smile broadened. "No, dear. This isn't the Fade any longer. You are in a guest room at the palace. There are quite a few people who will be glad to see you awake."

I looked at her distrustfully. "Ok, I'll play your game. How long have I been unconscious?"

"Several days," Wynne said. "If Alistair wasn't so busy with preparations for the coronation, he would still be by your side."

"Is he alright?" I asked, concerned.

"Oh, he was a bit banged up, but he's back to his usual sarcastic self," she smiled.

"What about everyone else?" I asked, trying to shift position.

"Zevran and Leliana have recovered from their injuries. Sten had a pretty serious leg wound but it is healing nicely. Of course they all want to see you," she said.

"Fergus?" I asked quietly, fearing the worst.

"He's nursing a broken arm. Arl Eamon and Bann Teagan had cuts and bruises, but we came out of this better than anyone had hoped," Wynne said, trying to calm me. "As soon as the dragon went down and that blast of energy exploded, the darkspawn turned and fled."

"Yes, we're lucky that you are such an efficient killer, my love," Alistair said as he entered the room.

"I'm afraid that I'm still in the Fade. That this isn't real," I said tearfully.

"Please don't start crying." Alistair said, "You know what happened the last time you cried," and he gathered me into a tight hug.

Wynne said, "Only you can determine what is real. But, I promise you, you are not in the Fade."

I looked at her hopefully.

A servant came to the door, "Your majesty, Arl Wulff is requesting your presence in the Great Hall."

Alistair rolled his eyes and said, "A king's work is never done." He kissed me and whispered, "I'll be back, my love."


	22. Epilogue

Epilogue

_My dearest Zev,_

_I hope this finds you safe and happy. I do hope you will be able to visit soon. Ten years is such a long time. _

_Bryce is growing fast. He's a typical nine year old and he's taken after his parents in his sword skills. Meric just turned seven, he plays at being an archer. I think Leli's stories have inspired him. Eleanor is four going on five in a few weeks. She is nothing like me. She actually likes dresses and tea parties! Little Cailen has been walking for a while now and loves to chase Dancer's puppies. _

_My big news is: I'm pregnant again! Another girl this time. We're thinking of naming her Elissa, after Alistair's mother._

_(That antidote you concocted for a wedding present may have worked a little too well.)_

_Fergus has remarried and has two healthy boys. Highever has been rebuilt and it looks better than before._

_Every now and then, especially when things are going well, I wonder if I'm not still trapped in the Fade. But, then bad news seems to bring me back to reality._

_Please stay away from Kirkwall. I know you had intended to go live there, but the unrest between the Mages and the Templars has made that city too dangerous. The situation with Orlais hasn't improved and poor Alistair has his hands full trying to maintain peace._

_I truly hope you are happy, but I do miss you and hope you can spare time to visit._

_All my love,_

_Felicia _

* * *

><p><em>AN - Thank you Bioware for providing such a wonderful game that inspired me. Thank you to my husband and daughter for editing and putting up with my obsession. Thank you to my best friend for encouraging me to post this. AND...a big thank you to all who have taken the time to journey into my version of Dragon Age. There are so many options out there and I feel honored that you chose to read mine._


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